


Yesterday's Silence

by Fandom_Stuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Dean is a photographer, Florist fic, Florist shop, Florist!Cas, Flowers, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of a slow burn, LARPing, Love, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Photography, Pumpkin carving, Soft Cas, Soft Dean, TW: Self Harm, Walks In The Park, alternating povs, and there will be fluff, but not really, but there's so much trauma in here too, cas has bees, cas is a florist, cas loves flowers, cute stuff idk, gabriel is a protective older brother, john winchester is homophobic, meet cute, photgrapher!Dean, protective!Dean, tw: sucidal thoughts, you'd think this would be really fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Stuff/pseuds/Fandom_Stuff
Summary: Dean Winchester is a struggling photographer who takes jobs everywhere he can. When he stumbles across a new flower shop on a street corner near his apartment, he is enraptured by the beautiful flowers outside. Drawn to their colors, he enters the shop to ask if he can take some photos, and is instantly intrigued by the owner of the shop, a man named Castiel Novak.Castiel has a dark past, one that he thought he'd put behind him but just as his friendship with Dean begins to bud, the past comes aknockin'.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Destiel, Sam Winchester/Sarah Blake
Comments: 74
Kudos: 88





	1. Dianthus

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! IM BACCKKKK. If you're subscribed to me, I hope you've been enjoying the ficlets I've been posting. In light of the fact that 15x18 aired last night, I decided to post the first chapter of my latest long-fic idea. So here it is :) 
> 
> I also wanted to say that this fic has a serious trigger warning, so please be cautious.
> 
> Trigger warning: self harm (it is graphic/shown in this fic), suicidal thoughts, abuse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dianthus- meaning carnation: to pink.

Dean’s finger hovered over the button as he let his eyes see through the lens. The tree in front of him was a white paper birch tree, the bark slowly peeling away to the sound of wind brushing gently through the branches. The tree was magnificent, Dean could spend hours photographing the leaves alone but his focus wasn’t on the tree, it was on the woman standing  _ behind  _ the tree. Her white wedding dress fit perfectly beside the birch as she peeked out from behind it, dark curls framing her face in a beautiful wave, hands braced against the trunk. 

“Big smile for me now,” Dean said as he lined up the shot.

The woman gave him a radiating smile, white teeth catching in the setting sun. 

_ Click.  _

Dean took the picture and then took another, just to be sure. 

“Are we almost done?” the groom, Luke, asked from where he was watching the shoot from behind Dean. 

“One more shot to do, per your wife's request,” Dean replied as he picked up his tripod and carried it over to the birch tree. 

Dean assessed the tree once he was close enough, and decided that it looked climbable, so he placed his camera in his bag and slung it over his shoulder. The second his hands reached up to grip one of the branches, the bride, Emily, let out a small squeal. 

“Oh! I didn’t realize you were going to climb the tree! We don’t have to do this shot, I don’t want you getting hurt!” 

Dean smiled at her and shifted the bag to rest against his hip. “It’s okay ma’am. This isn’t my first tree.” 

Without waiting for another word of protest, Dean hoisted himself into the branches and then began to climb to the top. It was an easy climb, the branches were strong and sturdy and he found his way into the topmost layer fairly quickly. 

Once he was situated in a crook between two branches, he reached for his camera bag. “Okay Emily!” he hollered down to the ground. “Please step under the tree, close to the trunk, and give me a smile.” 

Emily did as she was told and Dean lined up the shot, carefully including certain branches and leaves as he made sure to get the sun’s angle right as it filtered through the branches. 

_ Click. Click. Click.  _

“Okay, Emily, now we can do that pose you wanted. So, keep that lovely smile right where it is, but look straight up at the camera and spread your arms wide.” 

“Like this?” Emily asked, her arms held perpendicular to her body and her head tilted as far back as it would go, spilling her hair behind her back and exposing every inch of her beautiful dress. 

“Just like that,” Dean confirmed. He reached into his bag and pulled out the rose petals he’d slipped in there this morning. With practiced ease, he lined up the shot, and then let the petals fall from his hand. 

They floated to the ground on a small gust of wind, falling effortlessly through the air. Some landed in Emily’s hair, others on her shoulders, the rest on the ground around her. Dean let another handful of petals fall, and then took the picture. 

_ Click. Click. Click.  _

He glanced at the pictures and nodded in satisfaction before he placed the camera back into his bag and began his descent from the tree. Once his feet were on solid ground again he smiled at the newly wed couple. 

“Well, that’s it for pictures. I should have them all ready for you in about a month or so, sooner if I can manage it.” 

“Thank you so much,” Emily replied. 

“Yes, thanks,” Luke said. 

“Well, I’ll be off then. I wish you both happiness in your future together.” 

The happy couple began to walk away, smiling and laughing together as they wandered over to their family members. Usually, Dean would stay for the reception, but Emily and Luke had decided to hire a separate photographer for that event, one who specialized in photographing big parties, apparently. They were still paying Dean the full amount he’d usually get for doing both the ceremony and the reception, even though Dean had said it wasn’t necessary, that he should be paid for the work he’d done and nothing more, but they’d insisted and Dean couldn’t exactly say no. They  _ were _ a rich couple, and he did need the money.

Dean watched the couple continue to walk back up to the big mansion they’d had the wedding at, but after a few moments he turned away and began to pack up his equipment. He lugged everything over to his car and once it was all situated in his trunk he climbed into the driver’s seat.

He spread his hands over the steering wheel with a sigh. “Let’s go home, Baby,” he said as he turned the key in the ignition. 

It was a long drive home. Just over two hours. It was probably one of the farthest weddings he’d ever driven to, but Luke and Emily had seen his portfolio online and had decided that he was their guy, and Dean leapt at the chance to make a little extra cash. He was fairly certain that they wanted to pay him extra just because of how far they’d made him drive. Luke and Emily weren’t your usual snobby rich couple who belittled their employees, they were actually decent people. In the few meetings he’d had with them to go over the general aesthetic of the wedding and the pictures they might want, he’d learned that they were kind and caring people, and they were getting married for nothing but love itself.

Dean had photographed many weddings, too many to count actually, and every time he was alone in his car afterwards he found himself sighing. Seeing two people getting married that were so happy to devote the rest of their lives to each other, made Dean realize just how empty his own life was. 

He hadn’t had a steady girlfriend or boyfriend in years. Every now and then he had a meaningless hookup, but a committed relationship? He hadn’t had one of those in a  _ long  _ time; it felt like eons. 

Weddings always made him this way. Dean didn’t like to parade it around (Sam would never let him hear the end of it) but he was a hopeless romantic. He wanted to surprise someone with roses and candlelit dinners, he wanted to dance to slow music and watch the stars, he wanted to wake up in bed with someone by his side and go for walks in the park; he wanted it all. 

Sure, he’d done a few of those things with some of the people he dated, but it had never felt  _ right _ . There was always something off and it was always the person he was with. He just needed to find the  _ right  _ person, but it had been so long now that he was beginning to think he never would. 

Before Dean could fully let his thoughts run away with him, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he blindly answered it. “Hello?” 

“Hey, Dean.” 

Dean smiled at his brother’s voice. “Hey, Sam, what’s shakin?”

“I uh, need to ask a favor. Where are you?” 

“Driving home, why? Is something wrong?” 

“Not wrong, no. It’s just Peter. Sarah and I have an important meeting tonight and our babysitter had to bail on us for a family emergency. I’ve called about five different people and none of them are available tonight. Is there a chance you can do it?” 

Dean loved Sam’s kid. He was a handful at times, but Dean would never say no to getting to spend time with his nephew, so he glanced at the time and quickly did the math in his head. “I’d end up getting there just after eight. Is that too late?” 

Sam huffed a sigh. “Dammit. The meeting  _ starts  _ at eight.”

“Did you try Charlie?” Dean asked. 

“She was the first one I tried,” Sam replied. 

Dean let the Impala come to a stop at a red light and then tried to think of all the people he knew that wouldn’t mind looking after a seven year old boy for the night. “You’re not gonna like it, but here’s a thought.”

“Oh no, I already don’t like the sound of this,” Sam groaned. 

“Becky.” 

“No. No, absolutely  _ not _ !”

“Dude, she loves you. Just ask her to watch him for half an hour or so until I get there.”

“But then I’d owe her a favor, and you  _ know  _ how her favors are.”

Dean chuckled. He did know how Becky’s favors were. He’d never been on the receiving end of one because he’d never ask  _ Becky Rosen  _ to help him with anything if he could avoid it, but Sam had asked for her help on more than one occasion and in return she’d made him do all sorts of ridiculous things. She asked Sam to go grocery shopping with her for a week, and to shovel her driveway and mow her lawn, and Sam went along with all of it because he’s a good person, but Dean felt that Becky was taking advantage of his little brother and he had told her as much. 

She promised that she’d never do such a thing but Dean had firmly told her to back off, and, finally, she had. Sam hadn’t asked for anything from her in a long time, years in fact, but now, he was out of options.

“Dude, you’d owe her half an hour of your life and that would be  _ it _ . She cannot make you do anything you don’t want to do. Or just pay her for it and move on, hell  _ I’ll  _ even pay her for it.” 

“I just don’t know how I feel about her being alone with Peter. She gives me the creeps sometimes, man.” 

“I know what you mean. I think it’s her eyes.” 

Sam chuckled. “That’s it, for sure.” 

“But, I think it’ll be fine for half an hour.” 

Sam sighed, clearly giving in. “Fine. I’ll give her a call.” 

“Great, and I’ll try to get there as fast as I can.” 

“Thanks man, you’re the best.” 

“Don’t sweat it, I love hanging out with your little man.” 

Granted, Dean was tired. He’d had a long day photographing hundreds of wedding guests and the bride and groom themselves, but he was not going to pass up an opportunity to spend some time with Peter, he hardly saw the kid enough as it was. Seeing as it was getting late already, he’d really only have to worry about putting him to bed and telling him a story, and then Dean could just crash on the couch. 

“I’ll see you when we get back, shouldn’t be any later than eleven.” 

“Yeah okay, bitch, see ya then.” 

“Bye jerk.” 

Sam hung up and Dean tossed his phone onto the passenger seat and turned up the volume on the radio. The car ride went by quickly from then on and Dean pulled into Sam’s long driveway at ten minutes past eight. Becky’s white Subaru sat in the driveway and the light in the living room was on so Dean headed up to the house and pushed his way inside. 

“Hi Dean!” Becky greeted him as she looked up from where she was sitting on the couch with Peter beside her. 

Dean smiled politely at her in return. “Hey Becky.” 

“Dean! Dean!” Peter exclaimed as he slid off the couch and ran towards his uncle. 

“Hey there kiddo!” Dean chuckled as Peter slammed into him. While Peter tried to squeeze the life out of him, Dean turned his attention back to Becky. “How much do I owe you?” 

Becky waved her hand through the air in dismissal. “Nothing, I was happy to do it.” 

Dean narrowed his eyes at her. “There’s always a catch with you.” 

“Not this time,” Becky said happily as she picked up her purse. 

“So, you’re not going to bother Sam with any ridiculous requests?” Dean asked. 

Becky sighed. “No, I’ve changed Dean. I’m not that girl anymore.” 

“Well okay then,” Dean said. 

Becky smiled at him as she passed him on the way to the door. “Bye, Dean, bye Peter.” 

“Bye Becky!” Peter replied. 

When the door shut after Becky, Peter instantly tugged Dean towards the couch. “Woah there, what’s the rush?” Dean asked over a laugh. 

“I’ve got so much to tell you!” Peter exclaimed, brown eyes shining brightly as he blinked up at Dean. “I made a tower today in school! All by myself! Out of popsicle sticks!”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Wow, impressive.” 

“Ms. Hannah didn’t let me take it home,” Peter pouted. “It still had to dry from all the glue. So I can’t show you.”

“That’s too bad, maybe another time.” 

Peter brightened at that. “Yeah, another time.”

Dean spent another forty minutes talking with Peter and playing with his toy cars and action figures, but by the time nine o’clock started to roll around Dean had to step up and be the parental figure. 

“Hey buddy, I know you hate it, but it’s that time of the night now.” 

Peter frowned. “No!” 

Dean nodded. “Yes.”

“I don’t wanna go to bed!” 

“Sorry kiddo, but you’ve got to. I already let you stay up longer than you probably should have.”

Peter glared at Dean but let himself be herded towards his room. Dean stood back and let the kid slip into his pajamas -Peter was always adamant to do things himself, claiming he was a ‘big boy’ and didn’t need adults to help him get ready for bed- and then they headed over to the bathroom where Dean watched over Peter as he brushed his teeth. 

Once the kid was ready, they headed back to his room and Peter climbed into his bed. “Will you read me a story?” he asked, putting on his best puppy dog face, the face he most definitely learned from his father. 

“I suppose,” Dean replied, a twinkle in his eye as he regarded the eagerness of his nephew’s words. 

Peter reached over to his bedside table and pulled out a book titled  _ Mickey Meets The Giant _ . “Read this one!” he said as he pushed the book into Dean’s hands. 

Dean flipped open the book and pressed himself up beside Peter so the kid could look at the pictures while he read. “Once upon a time,” Dean began, “there lived a brave woodcutter named Mickey…”

As Dean read, Peter snuggled up closer to him and Dean smiled down at him, enjoying the way Peter’s head rested on his shoulder while he gazed at the pictures with wide eyes. When he reached the end of the story, Peter’s breathing had evened out, taking him into sleep. 

Dean carefully extracted himself from his nephew, placing the book back on the bedside table before he worked to tuck Peter under the blankets. Peter shifted in his sleep, but didn’t wake, and Dean successfully managed to pull the covers up over him and plant a kiss on his head without waking him. 

Stifling a yawn of his own, he stumbled out of Peter’s room and into the living room. He turned the TV on low and sat back on the couch to watch some boring documentary about whales. At some point, he started to doze, the dull sound of the documentary’s narrator pushing him away from the waking world.

Dean was just about to fall asleep, his eyes drooping shut and his consciousness starting to slip, when his phone buzzed so loudly that Dean nearly fell off the couch in startled surprise. Once his rapid heartbeat was under control, he dug his phone out of his back pocket and squinted at the text on the screen. It was from Charlie.

**_Charlie [9:50 P.M.]_ ** _ Heard you ended up with the babysitting gig, how’s that going for ya? _

Dean groaned and wiped at his eyes to clear them. Charlie always chose the worst times to text. 

**_You [9:50 P.M.]_ ** _ Kiddo’s in bed.  _

**_Charlie [9:51 P.M.]_ ** _ And how’re you? _

**_You [9:51 P.M.]_ ** _ Tired. I was about to fall asleep when you texted and I’d like to get back to that, if you don’t mind. _

**_Charlie [9:51 P.M.]_ ** _ Oops, sorry. I just wanted to ask if you’re around tomorrow for some LARPing?? We got the park for the day and I’m in need of my handmaiden. _

Dean sighed but couldn’t help replying in the affirmative. 

**_You [9:52 P.M.]_ ** _ I suppose I could assist her majesty. What time?  _

**_Charlie [9:52 P.M.]_ ** _ Great! One o’clock, sharp! Don’t be late! _

**_You [9:52 P.M.]_ ** _ And risk her majesty’s wrath? Never. _

**_Charlie [9:53 P.M.]_ ** _ Bring your camera, I want to document this day. _

Dean snorted a laugh, Charlie always loved to take advantage of the fact that Dean was a professional photographer. Whenever she could, she’d have him bring his camera to the park, or to a birthday party, or to any small event that she could think of, just so Dean would take professional grade pictures. He didn’t mind, he loved taking photos, and the upside was that he was also attending the events as a guest instead of just ‘the photographer’. The pictures he took for Charlie always took a long time to edit and print because he had to focus on the actual  _ paying  _ clients first, but Charlie didn’t mind waiting and Dean always ended up giving them to her for Christmas or her birthday. So, as he read Charlie’s text again, he only quirked a small smile and typed out his reply. 

**_You [9:53 P.M.]_ ** _ Taking advantage of my skills again are you, your majesty? At least have some manners about it. _

**_Charlie [9:53 P.M.]_ ** _ Bring your camera, PLEASE?  _

**_You [9:53 P.M.]_ ** _ Yeah, yeah, I’ll bring it, don’t get your panties in a twist.  _

**_Charlie [9:54 P.M.]_ ** _ Thank you! <3  _

Dean smiled at his phone and then tossed it aside, letting his head fall back against the armrest of the couch as his mouth split open in a yawn; he was asleep in mere minutes.

_ “Sam, let him sleep.”  _

Sarah’s voice drifted through the mirage of sleep he’d created around himself and he tried to burrow deeper into the cocoon of warmth that surrounded him, but when it finally registered that it was  _ Sarah’s  _ voice he’d heard, his weary eyes slowly opened. Sam was the first one he noticed, staring down at him with soft amusement in his eyes. Sarah was beside him, long brown hair framing her face in gentle waves as she smiled at him.

“What time is it?” he grumbled as he rubbed at his eyes, squinting in the light that was shining down on him. 

“Just after eleven,” Sarah replied as Dean sat up, his stiff joints popping with every movement.

“I take it you had a busy day,” Sam said with a small chuckle. 

“Shut up,” Dean groaned. 

“You’re welcome to stay the night,” Sarah offered. 

Dean shook his head, waving his hand in dismissal. “No, that’s okay.” 

“You’re sure?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah Sammy, I’m good.” 

“Well, thanks for looking after Peter,” Sam said as he held out a fifty dollar bill. 

Dean blinked at it for a moment. “Sam, you don’t need to pay me, he’s my nephew.” 

Sam’s hand didn’t waver. “I know, but I also know you need the money. So just take it.”

Dean scowled at his brother. “I don’t need your charity.” 

Sam rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Dean, take the goddamn money and quit whining about it.” Before Dean could argue again, Sam took his hand and slapped the dollar bill onto his palm. 

Dean wanted to give it back, but the look on his brother's face made him pocket the money. “Thanks, Sammy,” he grumbled.

“Sure thing,” Sam replied as he clapped Dean companionably on the back. “Now get out of my house.” 

Dean chuckled and pulled Sam into a hug before turning to Sarah and giving her one too. She kissed him on the cheek and Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Keep an eye on him for me.” 

“Of course,” Sarah replied. 

By the time Dean got back to his shabby one bedroom apartment, he was barely able to keep his eyes open and he collapsed on his bed without even bothering to change into pajamas. 

****

“You’ll send me the pictures, right?” Charlie asked as Dean helped her put a few fake weapons into a duffle bag. 

“Do you even know me?” Dean asked in exasperation. “You’ll get the pictures, but it won’t be for a little while, I’ve got real clients in front of you.”

Charlie sighed as she tucked a crown under her arm. “I know, I know. Thanks for doing this on such short notice. I know you have other stuff to do.” 

Dean shrugged as he shouldered a bag to carry to Charlie’s car. “Who am I to turn down her majesty? Besides, this is way more fun than what I would have been doing today, which is editing photos alone in my hot apartment that has a broken air conditioner. So trust me, you saved me from my misery.” 

“You should really get that fixed.”

“I’ve been meaning to do it myself, but haven’t gotten around to it. I’m too busy assisting you.”

Charlie laughed as she unlocked her car. “I appreciate the sacrifice.” 

“You’re very welcome, my lady,” Dean replied as he opened the trunk and set his bag down inside. He followed Charlie over to her door and then stepped in front of her. “Allow me.” 

“Why thank you kind sir.” As she sat down in the car Dean grabbed her hand and kissed it dramatically. Charlie laughed. “And they say chivalry is dead.” 

Dean bowed to her as he shut the car door and she waved as she drove away, leaving Dean in the parking lot alone. His apartment was only down the block, so he usually walked to the park. 

Dean shifted his camera on his shoulder and then set off down the sidewalk. As he walked, he felt the warm summer air swirl around him and he took a deep breath, only to pause for a moment as he was overpowered by the sweet smell of flowers. His eyes searched for the source of the smell and it became apparent as he rounded the corner. 

Baskets laden with flowers rocked gently in the soft afternoon breeze and Dean took a moment to gaze at them. He spotted roses, and sunflowers, but there were so many different kinds that Dean couldn’t even put a name to. He turned to look at the shop that the baskets hung outside of and saw more flowers sitting in an outdoor trough-like windowsill. 

There was paint on the door that glistened in the sun as if it had been painted mere minutes ago. There was a drawing of a bee sitting on a flower and the yellow words painted beside it read: Mel Flora. 

The store was clearly new, Dean had walked these streets for years and this shop had definitely not been there a week ago. He tried to remember if he’d seen it on his walk to the park, but he didn’t really pay attention on those walks, he just let himself walk blindly, trusting his feet to guide him. 

He couldn’t help but look back at the baskets filled with flowers and suddenly he had an urge to photograph the soft yellow petals of the sunflower in front of him. But Dean didn’t want to be some strange guy photographing a bunch of flowers that didn’t even belong to him, so turned back to the door and once he made sure there was an  _ Open  _ sign hanging inside the glass, he pushed his way into the shop. A bell jingled at his entrance and filled the small quaint store with a soft note. 

The store smelled strongly of flowers and Dean paused to take in the shop. There were flowers  _ everywhere _ . Hanging from the ceiling in baskets like the ones outside, sitting on shelves, growing in corners, they were just… everywhere. 

“Um… hello?” he called out to the seemingly empty room. 

“Hello!?” came an excited, deep, voice in response. 

Dean followed the sound of the voice and found himself at the cashier desk in the back of the store. A man stood behind it, dressed in a white button down shirt that was rolled up at the wrists, exposing his forearms, with a twisted blue tie that hung loosely from his neck. His hair was dark and ruffled, sticking up in some places but flat in others, and his skin looked perfectly tan. As Dean drew closer and let his eyes connect with the other man’s, he felt his footsteps falter slightly. 

The full picture of the man behind the counter came into view as the blue of his eyes connected with the dark hair and the shadow of stubble lining his jaw.

Dean cleared his throat, trying to ground himself before he could say something stupid. “Uh, hi,” he said with a small smile, shifting his camera bag on his shoulder. 

“Is there anything I can help you find?” the man asked with a smile,  _ Castiel _ , his nametag read. 

Castiel’s smile was bright and gummy and Dean felt his own smile grow. “Um, well, I’m not exactly in the market for flowers, I just…” he paused, rubbing at the back of his neck as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I uh, I have a strange request to ask.”

Castiel’s head tilted slightly to the side and his eyes furrowed into a squint. “What might that be?” 

“This shop’s new, right?” 

Castiel nodded slowly. “Yes, I just opened today.”

“Are you the owner?” Dean asked. 

“Yes.”

“Oh, well, perfect. So, I’m a photographer and I was uh, wondering if maybe I could take some pictures of your flowers. I could send them to you and you could use them for a website or something, it might help you gain some publicity.”

Castiel frowned in consideration. “I couldn’t pay you or anything, the shop has hardly had any customers yet.” 

“No, you wouldn’t have to pay me, this would be free of charge,” Dean said. “I just think your flowers are really beautiful and I want to capture their image, and I figured you could probably use the pictures.” 

Castiel’s small gummy smile returned. “That’s very kind of you.” 

Dean shrugged. “It’s nothing really, I’d be happy to do it.” 

“In that case I’d be happy to oblige you.” 

Dean smiled and gripped the strap of his bag tighter, just to have something to do with his hands. “Great, so, uh, maybe I could come by tomorrow and take some pictures. I can do the inside of the shop too if you want.” 

“That sounds wonderful.” 

Dean nodded and began to back away. “Awesome, I’ll come by around noon.” 

Without another word, Dean retreated before he could say or do something embarrassing. It was as the bell above the door was ringing out the singular note again, that he realized he didn’t even give Castiel his name. He couldn’t bring himself to go back inside just for that, so he opted to tell him tomorrow. 

When he got back to his apartment, he set his camera bag down and pulled out his camera. He fiddled with the SD card so he could download the photos he took today onto his computer and began to click and drag the files into the LARPing folder he’d made a while back. Once they were copied to the folder, he shut down his computer and set his camera aside to charge so it would have a full battery for his meeting with Castiel tomorrow. 

Dean couldn’t help but smile as he thought of the blue-eyed shop owner. There was something about him that pulled Dean in, like a moth to a flame, or in this case, a bee to a flower, and he found himself wishing tomorrow would come early. 

****

“Hello,” Castiel greeted him as Dean pushed his way into the store, once again laden with his camera bag. 

Dean smiled. “Hey.” 

“You can do whatever you need to do, just let me know if you need anything.” 

“Awesome, thanks.” 

He set his bag down and then busied himself with fitting the right lens on his camera before making sure his settings were right and the SD card was in. He decided to start outside, since the sun was at its peak and would reflect perfectly in his lens if he set his shot at the right angle. 

It only took him about ten minutes to photograph the outdoor pots and then he made his way inside. He started by the door and worked his way to the back of the store, snapping photos every few seconds. 

The bell above the door rang as Dean was photographing a group of blue flowers that he didn’t know the name of. A short old lady entered the shop and began to peruse the different flowers, pausing to sniff a few and then moving on. Dean heard Castiel offer to help her and she graciously accepted, saying that she was looking for flowers for her granddaughter who was staring in a play. Dean couldn’t help but smile to himself as Castiel rattled off a few flowers that would be perfect for the occasion. 

In five minutes, the lady was gone and it was just Dean and Castiel again. He was nearing the end of the shop and he could feel Castiel’s gaze on him as he worked. Dean was so lost in setting up his shot and trying to pretend that he couldn’t feel Castiel looking at him, that he nearly dropped his camera when he heard a deep voice speak right behind him. 

“These are carnations,” Castiel said. “They can come in many different colors,” Castiel reached around Dean and pressed a delicate finger to the underside of the carnation’s layered petals, “like this red one for instance, but their natural color is pink.” His hand fell away from the flower and he turned his blue eyes to Dean. “Each color represents something, be it white, which symbolizes purity or red which symbolizes true love.” 

With Castiel’s proximity and the talk of ‘true love’, Dean felt a blush rise on his cheeks and he could do nothing to stop it. “That’s uh,” he cleared his throat, trying to find his words. “That’s really interesting, Cas.” 

_ Cas? Did he seriously just give the guy a nickname?  _

Castiel didn’t seem to mind, in fact he smiled, and Dean felt something flutter in his stomach. “In some places,” Cas continued softly, “the Latin word Dianthus, which translates to carnation, means ‘to pink’.” 

Much to Dean’s embarrassment, his blush deepened and he had to look away. “Is, uh, is the name of your shop in Latin?” he asked quietly, desperate to steer the conversation in another direction. 

Castiel nodded. “Yes, it means Honey Flower.” 

“Is there such thing as a honey flower?”

“Yes, actually, they’re found in South Africa, so I don’t sell them here, they’re quite lovely, but they’re not the reason behind the name of my shop.” 

“So what’s the reason then?” 

Castiel stepped away from Dean for a moment and moved over to the cashier counter, when he came back he was holding a mason jar in his hands and he held it out for Dean. He took it gingerly in his hands and looked at Cas for further information. 

“I sell flowers, but I also bee-keep, and I sell the honey my bees make, hence the name, Honey Flower,” Cas explained. 

“That’s clever,” Dean said as he tipped the jar slightly in his hands, watching thick golden liquid spill from one side of the jar to the other. 

“I keep a few of my bee hives here in the garden behind the shop. If you’re interested in photographing the garden I can also show you the bees.” 

The hopeful look in Cas’ eyes made Dean nod in agreement. “I’d love to see the garden.” 

Dean tried to hand back the jar of honey but Cas waved his hand in dismissal. “Keep it, consider it a thank you gift for the pictures.” 

Dean shook his head and tried to hand the jar back again .”No, you don’t have to do that.”

Castiel’s hands came up to the jar and Dean expected him to take it, but instead he only pressed his hands to Dean’s and gently pushed the jar towards Dean’s chest. “I want to.” 

Staring into Castiel’s earnest blue eyes, Dean knew he couldn’t refuse the man, so he relented. “Okay, thanks.” Castiel’s smile was dazzling as Dean tucked the jar into his camera bag. 

“Follow me.” 

Dean let Cas lead him out the back door of the shop and into a beautiful little garden. There was a small stone fountain that filled the whole garden with the sound of trickling water and there was a small wooden bench beside it. Just like the inside of the shop, flowers were everywhere, filling the garden with vibrant colors. Castiel let Dean pause to take pictures, but once Dean was satisfied, he brought Dean to the back of the garden, where there were a few wooden hives. 

They kept their distance from the hives and Dean snapped a few pictures as Cas began to explain that they were called longsworth hives and in a few days he’d have to harvest the honey. “The honey I’m selling now is from last season,” he explained before Dean could ask. “For my bees, they produce quite a lot of honey, so I have to harvest three times a season. In July, August, and September.” 

“So they only make honey in the summer?” 

“Yes.” 

“Your shop is really amazing,” Dean said as he spun to look around the garden some more. 

“You think so?” Cas asked, eyes wide. 

Dean nodded, flashing him a smile. “Yeah, I do.” 

“That’s good to hear,” Castiel said, a soft smile on his face. 

“Uh, well, I think I have everything I need. I’ll get the photos to you as soon as I can.” 

“You can email them to me at MelFlora@gmail.com” 

“Perfect.” 

Dean turned to head back into the main shop but a hand on his arm stopped him. “Sorry, but I never did catch your name.” 

Dean’s blush from earlier returned in full force. “Shit sorry, that’s so unprofessional of me.” He’d gotten so caught up in taking pictures that it had completely slipped his mind again that he hadn't introduced himself. “I’m Dean.” 

“Dean,” Castiel repeated as his eyes fluttered over Dean’s body, Dean tried not to shift under that incredibly blue gaze. “It suits you.” 

“Uh, thanks,” Dean replied, his blush still refusing to waver. 

“You know,” Cas said, as if he was contemplating something. “You should really take a carnation with you when you go.”

Dean shook his head. “I couldn’t do that, the poor thing would die in a day.” 

Castiel chuckled softly, it was deep and smooth and Dean found himself thinking that it was possibly the most wonderful sound he’d ever heard. “Dean, carnations will last up to fourteen days in a vase of water, which is actually longer than most flowers. All flowers wither and die after a certain amount of time away from the ground, plants are the ones you need to water frequently. Flowers are actually quite low maintenance. So please, take a carnation when you go.” 

“Alright then, twist my arm with your fancy flower facts why don’t you,” Dean said with a small huff of laughter.

Castiel beamed at him as they entered the store again and Dean followed him over to the carnations where Cas plucked one red flower from a bucket and handed it to him; their hands brushed together briefly as Dean took the carnation. 

“I look forward to seeing the pictures,” Castiel said warmly as he walked Dean to the front door. 

Dean smiled at him as the bell jingled above the door. “See you around, Cas.” 

“Goodbye, Dean.” 

When the door sank shut after him, he paused to smell the carnation in his hand and smiled to himself as he started off back to his apartment. Everything seemed to be perfect, the sun warmed his face, birdsong radiated through the air, and he couldn’t help but walk with a spring to his step.

When he got back to his apartment, he filled a tall glass with water (he was fresh out of vases and he made a mental note to purchase one) and placed the carnation into the clear liquid. Once the flower was taken care of, he pulled the jar of honey Cas had given him from his camera bag and dipped a spoon into the gooey substance. 

The second the golden liquid touched his lips his eyes slipped shut. It was  _ amazing _ . Dean didn’t really use honey all that often since it wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, the sticky mess it often left behind was just undesirable, and it attracted ants, which Dean already had enough of in his apartment. But as he screwed the cap back on the honey jar and let his tongue ghost over his lips, catching the last of precious golden drops, he decided that he was going to make an exception for Cas’ honey. Cas’ honey could stay.


	2. Helianthus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helianthus- meaning sunflower: Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know I said I'd post the next chapter after school ended for me, but if you've followed any of my fics before you'd know that I'm impatient, so here's the next chapter a week early!
> 
> I also just wanted to warn you that this chapter is really heavy on those trigger warnings I included in the tags. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> -self harm (graphic/shown)  
> -abuse (graphic/shown)  
> -childhood trauma  
> -suicidal thoughts
> 
> Please proceed with caution.  
> Love you guys and enjoy the chapter <3

“Cassie!?” 

Gabriel’s shout sounded from the second bedroom of the apartment they shared and Castiel looked up from the book he’d been reading on the couch. “What!?” he shouted back. 

“I need flower advice!”

Castiel chuckled slightly to himself as he placed a bookmark in the crease of his book and stood up. A short walk down the hall brought him to Gabriel’s room where he carefully turned the doorknob and prepared himself for the inevitable mess that awaited him. 

The floor was dotted with at least five various articles of clothing and Castiel spotted two empty potato chip bags that had been thrown somewhere in the vicinity of the trash, allowing him to spot a Swedish fish wrapper that was lodged between his desk and the trash can. His neatly cluttered desk was overflowing with stacked papers that Castiel knew was paperwork for his restaurant that he hadn’t gotten around to filling out yet, but he saw a lone black sock peeking out from the lamp and he wondered vaguely how it got there. Last of all, Castiel’s eyes rested on Gabriel, who was sitting on his unmade bed, the blankets dripping off the sides of his mattress and a mountain of pillows surrounding him, his face lit up by the screen of his phone while he shoved gummy worms into his mouth.

“What kind of help do you need?” Castiel asked as he crossed the room, carefully avoiding the dirty sweatshirt and boxers in his path. 

Gabriel looked up from his phone, the tail end of a red gummy worm poking out of his mouth. “You remember Kali, right?” 

Castiel nodded slowly as he came to a stop beside Gabriel’s bed. “Yes.” 

“Well, I’m taking her out for dinner tomorrow and I thought of getting her flowers, but she hates roses because they’re too basic, so I don’t know what to get her.” 

Castiel hummed in thought as he let his mind drift back to everything he knew about Kali. She was a confident woman, assertive and poised. “You could get her a Gladiolus or as some people call them, a sword lily. They’re colorful and tend to represent strength, faithfulness, and honor.” 

Gabriel gaped at Castiel slightly. “That sounds perfect, Cassie.”

“I have some at the shop, I’ll bring some home tomorrow.” 

“That would be great, thanks, baby bro.” 

“Of course.” 

He turned to go, but Gabriel’s voice stopped him. “How is the shop doing anyway?” 

“It’s doing well. There aren’t as many customers as I’d hoped but I think that’s partly due to how new the shop is.”

“You’ll get more customers soon, I’m sure.” 

“A photographer actually came by today to take some pictures, he said he’d email them to me and I can put them up on the website.” 

“How’d you manage to hire a photographer?” Gabriel asked in wonder. 

“I didn’t, he offered to do it for free.” 

“No way, seriously?” 

Castiel nodded slowly. “Yes, he said he liked my flowers and wanted to capture them in pictures.” 

“He’s not a creeper or anything, right?” 

Castiel shook his head, and a small smile came to his lips as he thought back to the green eyed man who had entered his shop to politely ask if he could photograph his flowers. “Dean seemed genuine.” 

Gabriel’s mouth twitched at the corners and he smirked. “Dean, huh?” 

“Yes, what about him?” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and bit the head off one of his gummy worms. “You like him, don’t you.” 

Castiel’s head tilted to the side in confusion. “I don’t know him, Gabriel, how can I like someone I don’t know?” 

“You’re impossible sometimes, Cassie, really. You’re  _ attracted  _ to him, is what I’m trying to say.” 

Anyone who saw Dean would agree that he was a very attractive man. He was slightly taller than Castiel, with a sharp jawline, green eyes, and a constellation of freckles. His deep whiskey-rough voice cut through the air like a soft breeze and Castiel would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking about those green eyes and that soft smile all day. 

“I suppose I do find him attractive.” 

“You suppose? Cassie you got that puppy dog look on your face the second you said his name.” 

“Gabriel, we are not going to get into this tonight. My love life is none of your business.” 

Gabriel shrugged as he continued to chew on his gummy worms. “I just think you’d be a lot less uptight if you were in a relationship.” 

“I’ve been in relationships,” Castiel countered. 

“A relationship,  _ one _ . Daphne doesn’t count,” Gabriel retorted. 

“We dated for two months!” 

“You didn’t date, you were just really good friends who thought maybe you should be more, but I never even saw you kiss. So, were you really together?” 

Gabriel did have a point. Daphne had been a high school girlfriend that he’d been friends with first that everyone had thought he was dating. He’d decided to ask her out and she said yes, despite the fact that he didn’t really want to date her, he just felt like he had to. Back then he hadn’t been entirely sure he was gay, he’d thought that maybe if he gave a relationship with a girl a chance he might realize he was actually straight, or bisexual, but after Daphne, he’d known for sure. He’d kissed Daphne a grand total of six times and every time it had never felt right, but they’d kept dating (mostly out of a feeling of obligation to appear normal) until he eventually ended it.

“Inias is the only one that counts,” Gabriel said once he realized Castiel wasn’t going to say anything. 

Inias, Castiel’s first and only boyfriend.

Inias had been one of the best things that had happened to him, but they’d only lasted five months and two weeks. When Inias had enlisted in the military and left to go overseas, they broke up because he wanted Castiel to be with someone that he wouldn’t have to wait for or worry had died. Not that Castiel ever stopped worrying about Inias, they were still good friends and once and a while he’d get a letter from him with tales of his adventures as a soldier. 

Other than that, Castiel had never really been in a committed relationship; he still wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be. Relationships were hard work, and he couldn’t help but think that he’d much rather spend his time and energy on maintaining his flower garden instead of on another person. But then there was Dean… Dean, who Castiel had been having trouble getting out of his head since he walked into the shop two days ago. 

“I’m not talking about my relationships with you, Gabriel. Focus on your own girlfriend,” he said before he could say something incriminating. Gabriel threw a gummy worm at him as he left, but it missed him by a long shot and he escaped the room unscathed. 

Castiel settled himself down on the couch to pick up where he left off in his book, but the more he stared at the pages, the more the words swam before him as his eyes unfocused and his mind took him down a road of green eyes and freckles. He shook himself, trying to dislodge his thoughts of the handsome photographer. 

As the night wore on, Castiel only read about two more pages of his book before he gave up and decided that he should just go to sleep. When he passed Gabriel’s room, he heard the soft sound of his snoring and chuckled to himself as he entered his own room and got ready for bed. 

Night was Castiel’s least favorite time of day, because that’s when the nightmares came. Sometimes he could stave them off, and scrape away without bad dreams, but usually he’d wake up in a cold sweat, crying out until Gabriel came in to calm him down. He’d begun trying to do breathing exercises before he went to bed, to remind himself that he was alive and he wasn’t dying; but it never worked. 

Every time he shut his eyes, he was suffocating, clawing for air, kicking out with his legs, scratching with his hands, searching for something that would give him purchase on the slippery surface so he could escape. But the more he struggled, the more he couldn’t breathe. Lucifer’s hands never loosened, and he felt himself slipping away, his chest heaving with one last desperate convulsion for air. 

Lucifer, Castiel’s other older brother, had never liked him. He’d had it out for Castiel since the day he was born. There was never a day in his life, that Lucifer didn’t hurt him. With their parents gone, and Michael working to support them with a 9-5 job, Lucifer was often the one who was in charge in their house until Michael came home. Gabriel was usually at some after school get together with his friends and never came home until after seven, so it was always just Lucifer and Castiel, alone after school. 

Lucifer was eight years older than Castiel, and so when he told Castiel to do something, he did it. But Lucifer wasn’t your typical older brother, he didn’t just playfully bully Castiel, he  _ tortured  _ him.

There were days, when Lucifer would make Castiel stand in front of the dartboard in their basement and he’d absentmindedly throw darts at him, telling him if he moved he’d tell Michael that he’d been bad and he wouldn’t get dinner. So, at six years old, Castiel would stand in front of the dartboard and let Lucifer throw darts until he got bored. Lucifer was good at darts, so he never hit Castiel where it would count, a shoulder here, a thigh there, nothing that Michael would notice. 

But the days where Lucifer would fill up the bathtub and plunge Castiel’s head under the cold water, were the worst. He couldn’t stop him. He wasn’t strong enough, his arms were like twigs, bouncing idly against much stronger branches. Lucifer’s voice would drip into his ear, the only thing Castiel could hear over the blood rushing in his eardrums. He’d tell him he was worthless, he was unwanted, he was a burden, that he was the worst possible thing that could've happened to this family, that he was the reason their parents were gone. 

He didn’t know why Lucifer did it, he’d never know why, at least not while Lucifer was still behind bars. Lucifer was cunning, and clever, he was so careful when he tormented Castiel. Their oldest brother, Michael, never found out, not until it was almost too late. 

The day Castiel had nearly died at the hands of his brother, was the day that Lucifer had been arrested. 

Michael had come home early and found Castiel’s limp body in Lucifer’s grip over the bathtub. It had all ended that day, once the paramedics had revived Castiel and Lucifer was in custody for attempted murder, Michael moved them to a new house in a new town where Castiel finished school. 

But he couldn’t get Lucifer’s whispers out of his head. For years, that’s all he heard, it was all his mind could think, and so it was only fitting that he eventually started believing it.

He was always drowning. Every time he shut his eyes, the water was filling his lungs, Lucifer’s hands were biting into his scalp, his cries were lost to the last bubbles of oxygen popping on the surface of the water. 

The only way he could make the memories stop, make the pain go away, was with more pain. He wasn’t sure when he started, but once he did he couldn’t stop. Pain was how he coped, that’s what he’d been shown his whole life, so when he first put the blade against his skin and let the pain wash over him, it felt right.

Gabriel didn’t know, Castiel was too good at hiding it from him. His upper arms were lined with scars, and so were his thighs, but his wrists and lower arms were scar-free. 

The only time he cut was after a bad dream, when it was still dark out but the sun was moments from peeking through the horizon, it was just to make the memories stop, to let the endorphins sink in long enough for his body to stop shaking.

So when he woke up only three hours since he’d shut his eyes, stifling screams against his pillow, tears in his eyes as he fought to remind himself that he wasn’t drowning, he reached for his knife and let the blade dig into the meat of his shoulder, beside all the other scars and scabs. 

It was a sweet relief, his mind fell into the calming embrace of the pain he  _ could  _ control, and he let out a soft sigh, knowing he wasn’t going to be falling back asleep any time soon.

****

Castiel got to the shop early the next morning, he could still feel the twinge of pain where he’d dug his knife into his skin and it itched against the bandaid he’d slapped over it, but he ignored it; he was good at ignoring it and working at the shop helped.

He spent about an hour going through the shelves, stocking items that had depleted. He looked over all the flowers, pulling wilting ones from their alive brothers and sisters, and then he sat down at the checkout desk and pulled his book from his bag. 

Castiel was learning that the shop was always quiet in the morning; most people didn’t do their flower shopping at eight a.m., but he still opened early, just in case. He didn’t mind sitting in the shop alone, it was relaxing, with the scent of flowers around him and the soft hum of the shop’s lights as electricity ran through the wires. His shop was easily becoming his favorite place to be and he was starting to think that maybe he’d just run the shop himself and not hire any other employees. 

He’d been planning to see how his shop did in the first month of being open and then put aside money to hire employees, but being the sole worker was peaceful, and part of him didn’t want to give that up, because then he’d have to order around workers who would probably know next to nothing about flowers. He could handle the store on his own, he was sure of it. 

He made it through a chapter of his book before he realized that he’d been meaning to start playing songs over the shop’s speakers. He stood up and glanced at the door, to make sure there wasn’t anyone about to come in, before he disappeared into the cramped back room. The shop had a small little stereo system that Castiel could hook his computer up to, so he pulled his computer from his bag and waited for it to start up. 

It was an old computer, a Dell that he’d had for ages and it really only worked for music and to write things down on a Word document, other than that, it was slow and the screen often froze for five minutes at a time. He needed a new one but he hadn’t been able to afford one while he was working at a grocery store in the main plaza just outside of town, all his money had gone into rent and buying the shop. But, now that he had the shop and was getting customers, he could start to save up for a new computer. 

When the screen finally lit up, asking for his password, he logged in and clicked his way towards his saved playlists. He selected the one he’d labeled  _ Mel Flora _ and set the playlist to shuffle. The sweet sounds of Ed Sheeran’s  _ Supermarket Flowers _ filtered through the store’s speakers, and Castiel smiled to himself as he stepped back out into the main section of the store. 

It was only about thirty seconds later, that a young man entered the shop, the bell ringing above the door jingling in his wake. Castiel moved over to greet him, offering him a smile. “Hello, is there anything I can help you with.” 

The young man nodded slowly, wringing his hands nervously in front of him, he couldn’t be older than sixteen. “I’m uh, going on a date tonight and I wanted to buy some flowers.” 

“You’ve come to the right place, is there a specific flower you’re looking for?” 

“Anything but roses,” the boy said urgently, a panic to his eyes. “She  _ hates  _ roses.” 

Castiel smiled and nodded, briefly wondering if this girl was related to Kali. “There are plenty of other flowers that I’m sure she’ll love. I’ve got tulips, sunflowers, lilies, take your pick.” 

He let the young man peruse the aisles, looking for the perfect flower. In the end he settled on a bouquet of tulips and Castiel rang him up at the register and wished him luck on his date. 

A few more customers filtered in throughout the morning, but just as one o’clock hit and the Beatles’  _ Here Comes The Sun _ began to play softly through the speakers, the bell sounded and Castiel looked up to see none other than Dean, walking in. Castiel’s heartbeat bumped rapidly in his chest as he met Dean’s soft smile with his own. He felt warm all over, and it took him a moment to realize that he was really happy to see Dean.

“Hello, Dean,” he said. 

“Hey, Cas,” Dean replied, his voice was so rough, yet sleek, Castiel imagined that if whiskey had a voice, Dean’s would be it. 

“How is your carnation doing?” Castiel asked as he attempted to get his runaway heartbeat to slow. 

“Well, I haven’t killed it yet, which is shocking,” Dean said with a small chuckle.

Castiel couldn’t help but laugh as well. “Dean, I told you, as long as they’re in water they’ll last up to fourteen days, even someone with a black thumb couldn’t possibly kill them.” 

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and Castiel thought he might have seen a slight blush tinting his cheeks. “Well, I uh, I came to buy a vase, because I don’t actually have one, but I was also thinking about maybe trying to get some more flowers for my apartment.” 

Castiel raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” Dean said as he glanced around the store, eyes falling on the different flowers in turn. 

“Well,” he said thoughtfully as he stepped out from behind the cashier desk and moved over towards where Dean was standing, “there are plenty of vases to choose from and if you want to try your hand at looking after a plant, I’d recommend a sunflower. They just need direct sunlight and to be watered once per week if it hasn’t rained.” 

Dean sucked in a breath through his teeth and looked warily at Castiel. “I don’t know Cas, I don’t really get much sun in my apartment.“

“I can give you a trough vase that you can attach to a window. You do have a window right?”

Dean nodded slowly. “Yeah, I do, but I’m sure I’d forget to water it.” 

“You can set a reminder on your phone to remember,” Castiel suggested.

Dean hummed thoughtfully. “I guess I could do that, yeah.” 

“It’s really rather easy. I actually find the act of watering plants very soothing.” 

Dean turned to look at Castiel fully, a small smile on his face that touched the green of his eyes. “Alright fine, Cas, twist my arm again, I’ll buy the damn trough and flower.” 

Castiel felt his face explode with a smile. “Wonderful! I’ll go get the trough and you can pick out your flower.” 

He left Dean to choose the sunflower he wanted and went into the back room so he could find the troughs. He didn’t keep them in the main store because they took up too much room, but there were a few in the storage room and so he grabbed one and headed back out to ring up Dean. 

Dean was waiting at the cashier desk, a small vase and a potted sunflower in front of him. Castiel paused in the doorway, his eyes suddenly fixated on the man in front of him. The way he was examining the sunflower made him smile, he was tenderly touching the petals, looking at the stem and gently letting his fingers brush the soil in the pot. He was so carefree and happy, and when the sunlight caught the back of his head, he looked like he was glowing. It was a beautiful sight, and he didn’t want to take his eyes off Dean, but he forced himself to move. 

“Here you go,” he said as he set the trough on the counter. 

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean replied with a smile. 

Castiel couldn’t help the small shiver that ran through his body when Dean used the shortened version of his name. He usually didn’t like nicknames, Gabriel called him a fairshare, but when Dean did it, he felt nothing but warmth. He scanned Dean’s items and then smiled at Dean.

“Your total is 35.50.”

“Great,” Dean said as he fiddled with his wallet and pulled out a credit card. 

“How are the pictures coming along?” he asked as he scanned the card. 

“Oh, uh, I haven’t really had a chance to look at them yet, but I’m planning to soon.” 

“There’s no rush,” Castiel reassured him as he handed him back his card, he was doing this for free after all, and he assumed Dean had other clients that he needed to take care of first. 

“Right, well, uh, good to see you again, thanks for the flower.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Have a good day!” Dean called over his shoulder as he made his way to the door. 

“You too!” Castiel called back. 

For the rest of the day, Castiel found himself distracted. Customers came and went, flowers disappeared from shelves and baskets, but he couldn’t get his mind off Dean and how badly he wanted to see him again. He hardly knew Dean, but something was pulling Castiel towards him, he wanted to know more, he wanted to know everything he possibly could about Dean. 

When he closed up the shop and started his walk back to his apartment, with Gabriel’s sword lily in hand, he brushed against the basket outside that held a sunflower, and he paused to steady the swinging basket and look at the flower where it was outlined in the setting sun. 

Sunflowers represented happiness, and Castiel couldn’t help but think of Dean when he looked at the flower. Dean with his radiant smile that he would let fall onto his face whenever a blush filled his cheeks, Dean whose voice was so smooth and rich, Dean who somehow made Castiel’s heart skip in his chest whenever he saw him. 

He blinked as the sun began to dip further into the horizon and the hue around the sunflower faded. He shook himself and began his walk home, enjoying the feeling of the summer breeze brushing through his hair.

When he got home, he nearly collided with Gabriel as he opened the door. “Good, you’re home,” Gabriel said as he stepped backwards to avoid running into Castiel. 

“Is something wrong?” Castiel asked in confusion as he set down the lilies. Gabriel stared at him for a moment and Castiel looked at his brother, trying to read him.

“Don’t tell me you forgot!” Gabriel exclaimed as he moved forward to shake Castiel by the shoulders.

Castiel gently pried his brother’s hands from his body and held him at arm's length. “There’s no need for theatrics, Gabriel. Just tell me what’s going on.” 

“Michael!” Gabriel practically shouted. 

_ Oh.  _

_ Michael. _

It had in fact slipped his mind that their brother was in town and had asked to have dinner with his younger siblings. Between the shop opening and meeting Dean, there hadn’t been much room in his head for trivial things like dinner with his older brother. 

“You’re right, I did forget.” 

“Go get changed! We have to leave in ten minutes!” 

“Where is he taking us again?” Castiel asked as Gabriel gave him a push down the hall, causing Castiel to stumble and reach out to steady himself against the wall. 

“Some fancy rich person restaurant, I don’t know,” Gabriel replied. 

Castiel shook his head as he entered his room and began to search his closet for something decent to wear. He settled on a dark blue navy suit and just as he was slipping into his shoes, Gabriel pounded on his door. 

“Come on Cassie! We’ll be late!”

“I’m coming!” he shouted as he pulled open the door to face his brother. 

Gabriel didn’t spare him a single moment before he was pulling him by the arm towards the door and down to the apartment’s garage where Gabriel’s car was parked. Castiel climbed into the passenger's seat and Gabriel sent them flying out of the parking lot. 

“Gabriel, slow down!” Castiel exclaimed as Gabriel sped through a changing stop light. 

“Michael’s probably already there, you know he hates to be kept waiting.” 

“Gabriel, he’s our brother, not the President.” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he became President in the future,” Gabriel muttered. 

Castiel rolled his eyes but said no more as Gabriel maneuvered out of their small town and onto the highway that would take them into the city. It was a half hour drive and when they reached the restaurant Gabriel practically lept from the car while Castiel followed him more slowly. 

The restaurant Michael had selected was indeed a fancy one, there was soft ambient music playing in the background just below the sound of cutlery scraping against plates and quiet chatter. The smell of multiple different kinds of perfumes collided in the air and men and women, dressed in black and white suits, moved around the white clothed tables taking orders and refilling drinks. 

Gabriel stepped up to the man behind a computer and smiled at him. “Hello, we have a reservation under Novak.” 

“One of your party has already arrived, let me show you to your table.”

Castiel followed Gabriel and the busboy towards the back of the restaurant where Michael was seated calmly at a table, a bottle of wine already in front of him. 

“Ah, brothers,” he greeted them with a smile, but Castiel could see there was no warmth to it. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Gabriel said as he slid into his seat opposite Michael. “Cassie was at work.”

Michael nodded slowly, fixing his blue eyes on Castiel. “How is the shop?” 

“It’s doing well, thank you,” Castiel replied evenly. 

He hated having dinner with Michael. He loved him dearly, he’d saved Castiel’s life and helped put Lucifer behind bars, but that didn’t make up for the fact that they just never got along; they were too different. Not to mention that Michael wasn’t exactly approving of Castiel’s sexual preferences, he wasn’t outright unsupportive and any horrible opinions he kept to himself, but it was clear that he didn’t care for the kind of lifestyle that Castiel wanted to have.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Michael responded civilly. “What about you, Gabriel? How is the restaurant?” 

“It’s great, just peachy,” Gabriel answered with a smile. 

“And how is your job, Michael?” Castiel asked as he picked up his menu to begin to look at the options. 

“Well, very well.” 

“The senate is treating you well?” Gabriel prodded.

“Yes, I rather enjoy my job.” 

“Well we’re certainly happy to hear that, right Cassie?” 

“Of course.” 

“I know you both don’t enjoy my company-” 

“Now don’t say that Mikey, your company is… nice.” 

“It’s rude to interrupt, Gabriel,” Michael chastised him. “And while I appreciate the sentiment, I would also appreciate it if you let me finish my sentence.” 

“Sorry, big bro,” Gabriel replied as he sat back in his chair and gestured for Michael to continue. 

“As I was saying, I know you don’t enjoy my company but I wanted to thank you for meeting me.” 

“This isn’t just a family reunion, is it? You have something to tell us, don’t you?” Gabriel said.

“Yes, I do.” 

Castiel set his menu down to look at Michael. “What is it?”

“Excuse me?” The brother’s turned to look at their waiter who had returned to take their orders. “What can I get started for you all?” 

“The salmon with steamed vegetables, please,” Michael replied. 

“I’ll take the steak, medium well, with potatoes and green beans,” Gabriel said. 

“And I’ll have the Caesar salad,” Castiel answered.

“Wonderful, we’ll be right out with those.” 

As the waiter stepped away, Gabriel spoke. “So, you were saying?” 

Michael cleared his throat and took a sip of his wine before delicately setting his glass back down. “I’m not sure this is a conversation we should have before we eat.” 

“And why is that?” 

“Because the news I have to share might be unsettling.” 

“Don’t beat around the bush, just tell us,” Gabriel said. 

Michael sighed and then fixed his gaze on Castiel. “It’s Lucifer.” 

“What about him?” Castiel asked, fear was already beginning to eat at him, just hearing his brother’s name.

“I’m afraid he’s been released from prison, just this afternoon,” Michael replied stoically.

Castiel’s stomach flipped nauseatingly fast and he had to hold a hand to his mouth to quell the bile rising in his throat. “No,” he gasped out. 

“How?” Gabriel asked, anger licking at his words. “He was supposed to be in there for life!”

“Now now, brother, calm down, let’s not make a scene,” Michael cautioned. 

“How am I supposed to be  _ calm _ ?” Gabriel hissed. “Lucifer tried to  _ kill  _ Castiel, on multiple different occasions!” Gabriel swallowed thickly and Castiel saw the worry in his eyes as he asked, “is Cassie in danger?” 

Gabriel’s words made Castiel’s stomach do another somersault. “Am I?” he asked, trying hard to keep the fear bubbling in his body at bay. 

“I don’t know,” Michael replied simply. “But it’s safe to assume that he will try to contact you.” 

“He won’t get near you,” Gabriel said as he laid a hand on Castiel’s shoulders. “I’ll make sure of it.” 

“Thank you,” Castiel replied quietly, his voice nothing but a raw croak. 

“How did he get out?” Gabriel asked. 

“He’s got a good lawyer,” Michael replied. “She’d been working on his case since he was incarcerated and I’m assuming that she found enough holes in his case to set him free.” 

“Holes?” Gabriel spat. “That case was  _ airtight _ , there’s no way-” 

“Gabriel,” Castiel interrupted, stopping his brother’s angry rambling. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is Lucifer is free.” 

“Castiel is right,” Michael said. “No sense in dwelling on the ‘how’ of it all, what we need to worry about is keeping Castiel safe.” 

“He needs a restraining order or something,” Gabriel suggested. 

“I don’t think we need to go that far, yet,” Michael replied. “Lucifer doesn’t know where you currently reside, so I’d say you’re pretty safe for the time being.” 

“Yeah? Well what happens when Lucifer starts hunting for the reason he was behind bars in the first place? He’s not going to stop, Michael, he’ll find Cassie, he’ll try to kill him again!” Gabriel snarled. 

“Calm down, Gabriel,” Michael snapped. 

“ _ Do _ you think Lucifer will come for me?” Castiel asked as he looked between his brothers.

“I think it’s likely,” Michael replied, switching his calm blue gaze to Castiel. “But Lucifer may have also changed in prison, we can’t be sure what kind of man has come back out into the world.” 

Gabriel snorted and crossed his arms. “Lucifer? Change? That’s like a tiger changing his stripes, it’s impossible.” 

“I think I’m inclined to agree with Gabriel,” Castiel said. 

“We need to start talking to Cassie’s lawyer,” Gabriel stated.

“Maybe so, but let’s not jump to conclusions about who Lucifer is now.” 

“I’d rather jump to conclusions, better safe than sorry,” Gabriel retorted. 

“We’ll just play this by ear,” Michael continued calmly. “If Lucifer shows his face around here, then I’ll start having conversations about a restraining order.” 

“You should start having conversations  _ now _ !” Gabriel replied. 

“I will be looking into Lucifer’s release, there shouldn’t be cause for such dramatics unless absolutely necessary.” 

Gabriel scoffed and downed his glass of wine in one gulp. “This is gonna be a long night.” 

When their food arrived, they ate in silence, Gabriel glaring at Michael over his steak every other second while Castiel tried to control his racing pulse. His salad sat heavy in his stomach and he hardly managed to finish half of it, instead choosing to drink his wine and let the alcohol take some of the edge off. 

Once the bill was paid and they exchanged terse goodbyes, Gabriel dragged Castiel out to the car and when they were safe inside the car doors, he turned to Castiel with a hardened gaze, one that Castiel rarely saw on his brother. 

“You don’t need to worry, Cassie, I’ll keep you safe, Lucifer won’t touch you.” 

Castiel nodded. “Thank you, Gabriel.” 

“If he tries anything-” 

“Gabriel,” Castiel cut in. “We’ve exhausted this topic, let’s just go home.” 

Gabriel nodded and turned the key in the ignition. “Of course, sorry.”

Castiel spent the car ride back to their apartment gazing out of the window and trying to get his emotions under control. 

Lucifer was free. 

He was out. 

And there was a better than likely chance that he was going to attempt to find Castiel again, and possibly try to finish what he started.

That night, Castiel couldn’t sleep; the memories were too strong. When he shut his eyes all he saw was the dead murderous rage in Lucifer’s gaze, all he felt were Lucifer’s hands around his wrists and the pinpricks of darts as they pierced his skin. 

It was nearing three in the morning, when he gave in. Slinking into the bathroom quietly, knife in hand, to give his brain something else to focus on. The pain was a relief. The sight of his blood calmed him, reminded him that he was in control, not Lucifer. 

When he eventually climbed back into bed, he felt better, and the exhaustion began to tug at his body, edging him towards sleep. 

_ Think of something happy _ . He told himself. 

Only one thing came to mind when he thought of happiness. 

Dean. 

Dean’s green eyes replaced Lucifer’s dead blue, his soft smile filled Castiel’s mind and instantly he felt his body relax. 

He kept thinking of Dean. Dean and the way he looked when he blushed, cheeks turned pink like the petals of a carnation. Dean and the fond look on his face as he peeked out from behind the long stem of a sunflower. 

Sunflowers! 

Castiel couldn’t help but smile at the thought of sunflowers, because after all, they meant happiness. One couldn’t be sad or worried when a sunflower was on their mind. 

So, Castiel thought of Dean and sunflowers, and sleep finally came.


	3. Alstroemeria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alstroemeria- meaning Peruvian Lily: Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay for this chapter, I've had a busy past week with school and the end of Supernatural, I just needed time to process and write all those fix it fics I've been posting, so this story took the backburner. But, from now on, updates should be pretty regular on every Sunday.
> 
> Once again please remember the trigger warnings :)

Dean sighed out a breath of relief as he finally closed out of the last of the wedding pictures he’d been editing. It had been a long past few days, but he’d managed to finish them quickly, mostly due to the fact that a lot of the pictures hadn’t even needed any editing. But now, he could send them off to his clients and get to work on Cas’ flower pictures. 

He hadn’t even had a chance to look at them yet, he’d been forcing himself to put it off until he’d completed the work he had to do for  _ paying  _ customers, but now he didn’t have another photography job for a few days so he could spend that time editing Cas’ photos. 

As he opened up the pictures, he couldn’t help but smile as he thought about the day he’d taken them, and in doing so it made it hard to focus on the flowers, instead his mind wandered to blue eyes, black hair, and a gummy smile. He wanted to go back to the shop to see Cas again, but he’d already been there three days in a row, and he knew he’d probably end up leaving the shop with yet another flower that he couldn’t possibly take care of. He already feared for the life of the sunflower that sat alone outside his window. Not to mention, that he didn’t want to seem like he was being a stalker or anything, showing up at random intervals in Cas’ day. 

He should stop bothering Cas and just get him the photos, it wasn’t like he had a chance anyway, especially not with a guy like Cas; Cas would only end up getting hurt. Dean was a heartbreaker, which was part of the reason why none of his relationships ever lasted. Every time he thought he’d found ‘the one’, something flashed in the back of his mind, a warning that he needed to get out now, that this wasn’t the right path, that if he kept going down this road it wouldn’t end well. 

So, Dean was always the one to break the girl’s heart and on one occasion, the boy’s, because it just didn’t  _ feel  _ right. That was always his excuse, and they always left in tears. 

He told himself it was because he was scared of intimacy, that he didn’t want to get too close to someone, to let them in, because he would always let them down and they would always leave him, so he left them first. 

But that couldn’t be it, because the one thing he craved more than anything, was to wake up with someone by his side, to watch crap TV and try new things, to cook for and to pepper with soft kisses before falling asleep in each other’s arms. He wanted it all, and he’d had it, but it never lasted. 

Maybe with Cas…

_ No.  _

He couldn’t just romanticize something like that with a man he hardly knew; he didn’t even know if Cas swung that way. But the longer he sat there, with his computer open, the petals of a rose displayed on the screen, framed in perfect light by the setting sun, the more he wanted to go back to the shop, the more he was being tugged in the direction of ruffled hair and blue eyes, eyes that seemed to be guarded with secrets, yet so filled with kindness, and passion. 

Dean shook himself and let his eyes refocus back on the pictures, he should just finish them, send them to Cas, and let that be the end of it. As he settled down in his chair and began to click through the photos, adding touches of light here, enhancing the color there, the more he became certain that he wasn’t just going to walk out of Cas’ life after this. If not a romantic relationship, then maybe they could be friends. 

The pictures didn’t take him long, there wasn’t much for him to fix with editing, and soon he was staring at his finished product as it sat in the email, waiting to be sent. The cursor was blinking at him at the end of his sentence, as if it was mocking him for hesitating to press send. 

He wanted to say more than just: Hey, Cas, here are the pictures, hope you like them.

But that was really all he  _ needed  _ to say, so he forced himself to press the blue button and send the email off to Cas. 

Once it sent, he shut his computer and then headed to the kitchen so he could start to make himself dinner. There wasn’t much in the fridge but he found a box of elbow pasta in the cabinet, so he set a pot of water on the stove to boil and collapsed on the couch to watch some TV while he waited; there was nothing on, so he decided on a rerun of Friends.

Another twenty minutes later and Dean had settled back on the couch with his steaming pile of pasta covered in some old marinara sauce he’d found in the back of his fridge. The meal was by no means satisfactory, but it was edible so he had to call that a win. 

It was once he’d finished doing the dishes and was about to go channel surfing again, that an email notification lit up his phone. Curious, he reached for it to see that it was an email from the flower shop. His heart skipped a beat in his chest as excitement flashed through him but he forced himself to take a deep breath before opening the email. 

_ From: MelFora@gmail.com  _

_ Hello Dean, _

_ Thank you very much for the wonderful pictures. You captured all of my flowers so eloquently, it was truly breathtaking to see my shop through your eyes. You’re a very talented photographer, I’m grateful that you asked to photograph my flowers, the pictures will look wonderful on my website. Do you have a website of your own that I can provide a link to so I can give you credit?  _

_ ~Castiel Novak _

Dean felt something leap to life in his chest and he fumbled to hit the reply button. 

_ Hey Cas, _

_ I’m glad you liked the pictures, and thank you for the compliments. I do have a website, it’s called Winchester Photos, you can find everything related to my pictures there.  _

_ ~Dean _

He pressed the send button before he could second guess himself and about a minute later another email came in. 

_ From: MelFlora@gmail.com _

_ Perfect, I’ll be sure to link your website to mine. May I inquire as to how your sunflower is doing?  _

_ ~Castiel Novak _

Dean chuckled at Cas’ wording as he began to type out his reply.

_ Sent: _

_ It’s still alive, somehow. So is the carnation. Your honey is also awesome by the way, I’m pretty sure it’s the best honey I’ve ever tasted.  _

_ ~Dean _

_ From: MelFlora@gmail.com _

_ That’s very kind of you to say, thank you. I’m glad to hear the flowers are well and I’m positive you’ll be able to keep the sunflower alive, don’t sell yourself short.  _

_ ~Castiel Novak _

_ Sent: _

_ You clearly don’t know me, I kill everything I touch. _

_ ~Dean _

_ From: MelFlora@gmail.com  _

_ Perhaps I can give you some tips.  _

_ ~Castiel Novak _

_ Sent: _

_ Well, if you’re willing to coach a lost cause, you’re welcome to try.  _

_ ~Dean _

_ From: MelFlora@gmail.com _

_ I highly doubt you are a lost cause. But I am up for the challenge.  _

_ ~Castiel Novak _

_ Sent: _

_ I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. I’m a hard student to teach.  _

_ ~Dean _

_ From: MelFlora@gmail.com  _

_ We’ll just have to see about that.  _

_ ~Castiel Novak _

Dean smiled as he set his phone down, feeling that the conversation was over. He shook himself, snorting at the fact that one short email exchange with Cas already had him grinning like an idiot. That warm feeling inside of him kept sparking to life and he had to get it under control soon or it would consume him. 

He decided that the simplest way to stop thinking about Cas, was to go to bed. It was still fairly early, only ten, but he’d spent the whole day editing photos and he was exhausted so it didn’t take him long to fall asleep. 

****

“Do you have a girlfriend I don’t know about?” Charlie asked as Dean shut the door behind her. 

“What? No.” 

Charlie quirked an eyebrow at him as he gestured to the carnation sitting on the table. “Then why are you suddenly a flower man?”

A blush instantly bled across his face and he scratched at the back of his neck. “Oh, uh, that’s from a job.” 

“A job, huh?” Charlie inquired as a small smirk tilted her lips. 

“Yes, a job,” Dean replied haughtily. 

“Did you get the sunflower from your ‘job’ too?” Charlie asked. 

“Yes,” he answered simply. 

Charlie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. “Really? You’re not fooling me. Who’s the girl or boy?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“You’re not fooling me, you don’t like flowers, or plants, so who did you buy these for?” 

Dean sighed, there was no use in trying to hide anything from Charlie. “There’s this new flower shop down the block,” he replied. 

“And?” Charlie asked, her eyes were already popping with interest. 

“And a cute guy works there, is that what you wanted to hear?” 

“Oh my god!” Charlie squealed. “It’s been a while since you dated a boy, what’s his name?” 

“Cas,” Dean replied, a small smile crept onto his face as the name passed his lips and Charlie gasped. 

“You’re already so gone on him, oh my god.” 

“Shut up,” Dean mumbled. 

“So,  _ Cas _ , he convinced you to buy some flowers?” 

“Well I offered to photograph his flowers for him, free of charge, and he gave me the carnation and a jar of honey for free. I bought the sunflower when I went back to get a vase.” 

“So what I’m hearing, is that he likes you back.” 

Dean snorted as he sank down onto the couch. “How could you possibly know that?” 

“He gave you free stuff, he likes you.” 

“He gave me free stuff as a thank you, nothing more.” 

“Wrong, he likes you.” 

Dean rolled his eyes as he kicked his legs up onto the coffee table. “I don’t even know if he’s into guys.” 

“So find out,” Charlie replied as she joined Dean on the couch and mirrored his position with her own feet on the coffee table. 

He clicked on the TV and then glanced over at Charlie. “How exactly am I supposed to find out?” 

“Umm, you ask.” 

Dean blinked at her in shock. “Seriously?” 

“Just ask him out, that’s the easiest way to know,” Charlie replied. 

“I’m not just gonna ask him out.” 

“Why not? You do it all the time with women.” 

“Women are different,” Dean muttered. “And besides, I want to establish a friendship first.” 

Charlie wrinkled her nose at that. “Why would you want to do that? If things don’t go your way it’s so much easier to leave when you’re  _ not  _ friends.” 

“He just seems like the kind of guy you’d want to be friends with regardless of what happens.” 

“I say just go for it... but if you’re sure.”

“I am. Now shut up and pick a movie to watch.” 

Charlie sent one more glare his way, but pointed at the screen. “ _Star_ _Wars_ , duh.”

“Which one?” 

“Empire Strikes back.” Dean pressed play on the movie and then leaned back to watch. 

He loved these nights with Charlie, where they’d do nothing and everything. Watching movies with her had become a routine every Friday night and he loved every second. Charlie was like the little sister he’d never had and the one he never knew he wanted. 

When the movie ended and Dean looked over at Charlie, he found that she’d fallen asleep with her head resting on the armrest, mouth open and soft snores falling from her lips. Dean smiled and pulled a blanket over her before shutting off the TV with a yawn. 

He made the short walk to his room and changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt before collapsing on his bed with a sigh. 

****

“I can’t believe you didn’t wake me up,” Charlie complained as she rolled her neck until it popped. 

Dean shrugged as he pushed around scrambled eggs in a pan. “You were tired, I figured it best to let you sleep.” 

“I suppose you made the right call.” Charlie said as she collapsed in one of his kitchen chairs and pulled the carton of orange juice, Dean had set out earlier, towards her. She poured herself a glass and Dean set a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her. 

“You wouldn’t get a breakfast like this if I’d woken you up and sent you home, would you?” 

Charlie huffed at him as she picked up her fork. “That’s true. I guess I’ll forgive you.” 

“Good,” Dean replied as he joined her at the table. 

“So, how are the LARPing pictures coming along?” 

“I haven’t looked at them yet. I was busy with other pictures.” 

“Like the ones for Cas?” Charlie questioned with a raised eyebrow. 

“Shut up,” Dean said with a roll of his eyes. 

Charlie grinned at him and bit into a piece of bacon. “It’s okay, cute boy takes precedence over best friend, I understand.” 

Dean shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth, choosing to ignore Charlie’s comment. “I’ll look at them later tonight if I have time. I have to go photograph some rich kids' birthday party.” 

“Oh man, that doesn’t sound fun.”

“It will be the opposite of fun.” 

“Screaming kids and food being thrown from all angles? Yeah, that doesn’t sound enjoyable.” 

Dean nodded in agreement. “Wish me luck.” 

“Good luck, and I pity you.” 

Dean snorted. “Thanks.” He finished off his breakfast quickly and took his plate to the sink before snagging his keys from the counter. “I’m off, let yourself out when you’re done, just lock the door when you leave.” 

Charlie saluted with a nod. “Sure thing boss.” 

When he slipped behind Baby’s wheel he steeled himself with a deep breath and turned the key in the ignition. 

It was going to be a long day. 

****

Long was an understatement. The day had felt like it passed in  _ eons _ . 

Luckily he’d managed to avoid the different foods that had been flying through the air during the party, and one of the mother’s had offered him a piece of cake, but he still left the house feeling dirty all over and with a pounding headache; the screams of children echoing off the walls of his mind. 

Dean was minutes from his apartment when he realized that he was about to pass the flower shop. He hesitated for a brief moment, he wanted to get home, he was tired and hungry, but the even thought of seeing Cas infinitely boosted his sour mood, and he knew he had to stop. 

He let Baby roll to a stop in front of  _ Mel Flora _ and pulled up against the curb before putting her in park. He sat there for another moment, wondering if he should really bother Cas again, but when he looked over at the shop and saw no movement inside his heart twisted in his chest at the thought of Cas sitting alone inside, and he pushed his way out of the car.

The telltale ring of the bell above the door announced his entrance and Dean heard shuffling from the back of the store over the soft music playing in the background singing about some flower called a Virginia Bluebell. 

“Cas?” Dean called out as he walked down an aisle. 

“Dean?” came a muffled reply right before a head of dark hair popped up from behind the cashier counter. 

“Are you okay?” Dean asked as Cas got to his feet, a book in hand. 

“Um, yes. You startled me, that’s all. I dropped my book.” 

“Sorry.” 

Cas waved his hand through the air and set his book on the counter. “It’s okay. What can I help you with?” 

“Oh, uh…” Dean hadn’t thought this far into his plan and his brain was scrambling for a good excuse as to why he was in the shop again. “Well, I just came from photographing a children’s birthday party and I was passing by and the shop looked a little lonely, so I thought I’d come say hi.” 

Cas’ face split into a soft smile. “That’s very kind of you. The store has been quiet today, yes. But I find that I enjoy the silence sometimes.” 

“Sitting in silence all day sounds lonely.”

Cas shrugged as eyes flicked downwards and his hand gently brushed over the cover of his book. “It can be.”

“So, uh, you liked the pictures.”

Cas looked back up at him and nodded. “Yes, they were lovely. Even my brother agreed.”

“You have a brother?” 

“I have three older brothers, yes.” 

“Three? Damn.” 

“Yes, it’s very trying at times,” Cas said. “But I live with my brother Gabriel, who is the third youngest. He’s quite a character, and I often find his antics quite inappropriate, but he has a good heart and he’s the only one that’s always truly been there for me.” 

Dean nodded slowly, he could tell that something was off about Cas, how his whole demeanor had shifted at the mention of his siblings, but Dean wasn’t one to pry so he brushed past the tender topic. “I  _ am  _ the older brother. My little brother Sam is a lawyer, married with a kid and everything, the whole nine. I knew he was going to be the successful one in the family, I was always just the disappointment who carried around a camera everywhere he went,” he said with a chuckle. 

“You’re not a disappointment,” Cas said. “Your pictures are wonderful.” His tone was earnest and Dean found himself blushing again. 

_ Why did he always do that? Every goddamn word Cas said made him blush like a twelve year old girl at a middle school dance.  _

“Well, thanks,” he replied as he ducked his head to try to keep Cas from seeing the color on his cheeks. His eyes caught on a small bouquet of flowers and he moved towards them. “These are nice, what kind of flowers are they?” 

Cas came out from behind the counter to stand beside Dean, and just his closeness suddenly made him shiver. “They’re Peruvian lilies,” Cas replied easily. 

Dean turned his eyes from the flowers to look at Cas. “They’re beautiful.” 

Cas smiled again, and Dean realized that he’d never grow tired of seeing the bright look on Cas’ face whenever he talked about flowers. Cas reached down to pick up the bouquet, pulling them from the bucket they’d been sitting in, before handing them to Dean, who took them delicately.

“They originated in South Africa, but I grow them in the garden outside.” 

Dean gave them a tentative sniff and relished in their sweet smell. “I like them.” 

“Take them home, then,” Cas said. 

Dean lowered the flowers to meet Cas’ blue gaze. “I already have enough flowers in my apartment,” he chuckled. “Besides, I’m a bit tight on money right now.”

“Take them anyway, as a token of our friendship, that’s what these flowers symbolize: friendship.” 

Dean raised an eyebrow at him as something flickered to life inside him. “So we’re friends now?” 

“I think it’s about time, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.” 

“Good,” Cas smiled. “Well, I was actually about to close up before you came in, so I should do that.” 

“Do you need help?” Dean offered immediately. Cas blinked at him in surprise and Dean rushed to amend himself. “Well, I mean, it’s just you in here isn’t it? An extra set of hands would make things go a lot faster.” 

“That’s very kind of you,” Cas replied. “But there’s not much to do, just locking up the storage room and shutting off the lights. However, if you’re offering your company I won’t say no to it.” 

“I’ll stay then, until you close.” 

“It’ll only be a few minutes,” Cas said as he moved back behind the counter and began to gather his things. 

“Take your time,” Dean replied. 

Cas disappeared into the back room and the music that had been playing over the speakers stopped abruptly. When Cas came back out he was carrying a backpack which he slipped his book into and the slung over his shoulders. 

“You said you came from a child’s birthday party?” Cas asked as he began to move down the aisles, checking items and straightening them out on the shelves. 

Dean hovered at his shoulder as he followed Cas slowly towards the door. “Yeah, a very entitled seven year old boy’s party, to be exact.” 

“That sounds unpleasant.”

“It was.”

As they exited the shop and Cas locked the door, he turned to Dean. “I suppose this is where we part ways.” 

Dean nodded slowly. “Uh, yeah.” 

“Goodbye, Dean,” Cas said as he began to walk away from the store. 

Dean looked after him for a moment before calling to him. “Wait!” 

Cas turned around, his head tilted to the side. “What?”

“Do you always walk home?” 

“Yes, I don’t live that far, just in the apartment complex down the block.” 

Dean’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline in surprise. “No way, I live there too, I could give you a ride if you want.” 

“That’s not necessary,” Cas replied. 

“It’s no trouble,” Dean assured him. 

Cas’ eyes flickered to the Impala before landing back on his face. “Is that your car?” 

Dean smiled and gave Baby’s hood a pat. “Sure is.”

“It’s very beautiful.” 

Dean’s grin widened. “Isn’t she? You sure you don’t want a ride?” 

Cas took a step towards Dean, a smug little smile crawling across his face. “Twist my arm, why don’t you?” 

“Hey, you can’t throw my own words back at me,” Dean said through an amused chuckle.

“Can’t I?” 

Dean narrowed his eyes at him but he was smiling. “I’ll allow it just this once. Hop in.” 

Once Cas was situated next to him Dean turned the key in the ignition and let Baby purr to life. 

“I’ve never ridden in a car like this,” Cas said. “It’s loud.” 

Dean smirked. “Yup, you get used to it after a while.” 

Cas ran a hand over the leather seat and he smiled. “I like it.” 

Dean didn’t know why Cas appreciating his car made him feel so warm inside, but he wasn’t going to question it. It was a good feeling, one he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“I’m glad.” 

Cas’ hands wandered to the flowers Dean had set between them and he picked them up gently. “Do you have a vase for these?” 

_ Shit. He hadn’t even thought of that.  _

“Uh, no, actually.” 

“I have one you could borrow and then I can bring one home from the shop tomorrow, if you’d like.” 

That warm feeling blossomed in his chest and he found himself looking over at Cas with a smile. “That’d be great actually.” 

Dean pulled into the apartment complex and Cas pointed down the street. “Mine’s just down there.” 

Cas only lived about two buildings over from Dean and he parked beside the curb outside the apartment. “Awesome,” he said as he shut the car off. 

“You can come up with me and I’ll get you that vase. Fair warning, I think my brother is home and he questions every newcomer, so be prepared.”

Dean let out a small chuckle. “Thanks for the warning.” 

Cas led Dean into the apartment complex and up the stairs to the second floor. Cas paused at the third door from the stairs and unlocked it before pushing his way inside. 

“Gabriel, you home!?” he called out.

“Yeah,” a voice replied from somewhere in the depths of the apartment. 

Cas looked over at Dean apologetically. “He’s home.” 

A few seconds later a short man appeared down the hallway and when he saw that Cas wasn’t alone he nearly broke into a run. “Who’s this handsome fella?” Gabriel asked as he came into the light. He had long-ish brown hair, not quite as long as Sam’s, and he looked at Dean with a calculating gaze.

“This is Dean,” Cas replied. 

Gabriel’s expression changed instantly and Dean suddenly shifted uncomfortably.  _ Had Cas been talking about him? _

“So this is Dean.” 

“Don’t patronize him, Gabriel, he’s just here to borrow a vase,” Cas interjected as Gabriel took a step towards Dean. 

“Uh, nice to meet you,” Dean said as he held out his hand. 

Gabriel took it skeptically. “Yeah, you too.” 

“Gabriel,” Cas snapped. “Leave him alone.” 

“It’s not everyday you bring someone home, I’m just making sure he doesn’t have any ill intentions.” 

Cas rolled his eyes. “He’s just here for a  _ vase _ , Gabriel.”

Gabriel eyed Dean up and down and Dean looked at him quizzically. “Uhuh, sure he is.” 

“Gabriel!” Cas hissed. 

“What? You’re really telling me you haven’t thought-” 

“Gabriel, shut up!” Cas growled as he pulled his brother away by the arm, interrupting his sentence. 

“I really am just here for a vase!” Dean called after him as Cas shoved him down the hallway. 

“I’m sorry about him,” Cas said. 

“It’s okay, you did try to warn me,” Dean replied. 

“He’s very… protective of me, if you hadn’t noticed.” 

“Oh I noticed,” Dean chuckled. 

Cas reached into a cabinet above the fridge and pulled out a flower vase that looked big enough to hold the lilies in the car. “Well, here you go,” he said as he held them out for Dean. “That should fit them all.”

Dean grinned as he took the vase from Cas, their fingers just lightly brushing against each other in passing. “Thanks, Cas.” 

“No problem,” Cas replied. 

Dean turned to go but he paused before he could reach the door. “Do you want my number? So we can work out when I can return this to you?” 

Cas smiled and nodded. “Yes, that would be helpful.” 

“Great,” Dean grinned. 

“Here.” Cas held out his phone for Dean and Dean took it to enter his contact information before sending a text to himself. 

“Awesome,” he said as he handed the phone back. “I’ll see you around then.” 

“I can walk you out,” Cas offered. 

Dean waved a hand in dismissal. “Nah, that’s okay. Bye, Cas.” 

“Goodbye.” 

Dean left Cas’ apartment feeling elated; he had Cas’ number! 

There was a skip to his step as he walked to the Impala and when he entered the car, he carefully set the vase down where it wouldn’t roll and drove the quick thirty second drive to his own apartment complex. 

The first thing he did when he got inside was put the flowers in water and set them beside the carnation on his table. Dean had never been a flower kind of person, but he had to admit that they were growing on him, and maybe it was just because Cas liked them that he’d become fond of the idea of keeping flowers in his apartment, but there was also something so nice about coming home to the smell of flowers. It was relaxing, and Dean was pretty sure that whenever he visited Cas at his shop, he’d leave with a new flower to add to his collection. 

He set the water to boil for pasta again because that was all he had in the house. He knew he had to go shopping but he hadn’t been able to find the energy to bring himself to. 

With a sigh, he collapsed on his couch and pulled his computer onto his lap so he could upload the pictures he’d taken today. He clicked through some of them and deleted the obvious ones that were too blurry from a kid running in front of the lens while he’d tried to get a good photo, but most of them were clean and crisp, so he dragged them into his editing software and then saved the project before closing his computer and heading over to the stove to finish cooking his dinner. 

As he stirred the noodles into the water, he found himself smiling as he thought about Cas and the number that was sitting in his contacts list. Despite photographing a rowdy group of children, today had been a good day and he couldn’t help wondering when he was going to see Cas again but he hoped it wouldn’t be too long.


	4. Hyssopifolia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyssopifolia- meaning lavender: admiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Sunday has arrived! Please enjoy this chapter and as usual, remember the trigger warnings :)

The door shut behind Dean and Castiel turned around to see Gabriel leaning against the doorframe of his room. 

“So,  _ Dean _ .” 

“Don’t start,” Castiel huffed.

“Oh come on, you were practically  _ drooling  _ over him and you expect me to keep my thoughts to myself?” 

“You’re exaggerating,” Castiel replied with a roll of his eyes. 

“I am not,” Gabriel retorted. “But that’s beside the point, especially considering that Dean was also drooling over  _ you _ .” 

Castiel snapped his eyes to Gabriel so quickly he was almost sure he’d given himself whiplash. “What?” 

“Don’t tell me you’re  _ that _ blind, Cassie? He was all over you.” 

“No, he wasn’t,” Castiel dismissed Gabriel’s false observation easily. There was no way Dean could possibly have been looking at him in any particular way. People didn’t look at Castiel like that, least of all people like  _ Dean _ .

Gabriel moved down the hall so he could be face to face with Castiel. “Yes, he was, and you should ask him out.” 

“What? No,” Castiel spluttered. 

“Why not?” 

“I barely  _ know  _ him!” he protested. 

“So? Ask him on a date and  _ get to know  _ him,” Gabriel replied as he wiggled his eyebrows at Castiel. “If you know what I mean.” 

“Gabriel!” Castiel gasped. “I’m not going to… we’re  _ friends _ right now, I don’t want to ruin that.” 

“Oh, I’m sure Dean would gladly ruin whatever this paper thin thing between you that you’re calling ‘friendship’ is.” 

“You’re seeing things, Dean doesn’t… he’s not… we’re not…” 

“Don’t strain yourself,” Gabriel warned with a chuckle. 

“Shut up,” Castiel snapped. “We’re not having this conversation.” 

Gabriel pouted at him as he moved past Castiel to get into the kitchen. “I just think you should start putting yourself out there, is all I’m saying.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What’s cooking?” 

“Well I’m trying out a new recipe for my restaurant, it’s like a chicken cacciatore thing.” 

“Interesting,” Castiel replied. “I’ll happily be your taste tester.” 

“It’ll be another twenty minuets I think, but uh,” Gabriel reached across the counter and pulled an envelope from a stack of mail, “this came for you.” 

Castiel took the envelope from Gabriel and flipped it over to see who it was from, he immediately squinted at it in confusion. “There’s no return address.”

Gabriel scratched at the back of his neck and nodded. “Yeah, I know.” 

“Who do you think it’s from?” Gabriel shrugged, but Castiel saw the worried set to his shoulders. Terror suddenly sparked through Castiel and he let the letter fall from his hands onto the counter, suddenly unable to stop his hands from shaking. “You don’t think…” 

“I don’t know,” Gabriel replied. “It could really be from anyone.” 

“But you think it’s from him, don’t you?” 

“I think it’s a logical assumption,” Gabriel answered. 

“But how did he get our address?”

“Beats me.” 

Castiel stared at the letter as he wrung his hands, nerves bubbling all over his body. “Should we call Michael?” 

Gabriel snorted. “Michael will say it’s nothing, that the sender forgot to put their address on it or something rational like that.” 

Gabriel raised a good point, Michael wasn’t one to jump to conclusions and he’d try to rationalize the missing address. “Do you think I should open it?” 

“That one’s up to you, Cassie.” 

“I don’t know if I can,” he said as he eyed the envelope. 

“Then don’t.” 

“But what if we’re just making a big deal out of nothing?” 

Gabriel moved over to the side of the counter Castiel was on and he put his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Baby bro, if you spend another second dilly dallying, I’ll open it myself.” 

“Okay, okay,” Castiel said as he took the envelope back in his hands. He failed to control his shaky hands and it took him a couple tries to pull the letter free. 

The second he saw the scrawled handwriting he felt like he was going to throw up. The letter fell from his hands and he braced himself against the counter, eyes squeezed shut as his chest started to constrict against his rapidly beating heart. 

Castiel heard Gabriel curse under his breath but the sound came through a fog and he tried to focus his breathing so he could stave off the panic attack building in his body, but everything seemed to be crashing down around him and he felt himself sink to the ground as his legs gave way. 

“Cassie?” Gabriel asked close to his ear. 

Castiel shook his head and squeezed his eyes tighter shut, fighting to shut out the memories that were creeping in. 

_ Breathe _ . 

_ Breathe.  _

_ Think of something happy.  _

_ Think of something happy.  _

Green eyes and freckles instantly popped into his mind followed quickly by Dean’s name, and he instantly felt slightly better, the crushing weight in his chest released its steel hold and he was able to open his eyes, but he as much as he tried, he couldn’t stop trembling. 

“It’s from him, isn’t it,” Gabriel said stiffly. Castiel nodded mutely and Gabriel sighed. “Shit. How did he find us?” 

As if Castiel would know. Lucifer was resourceful and manipulative, he could have gotten their address from anyone just by being his charming self. 

“I-I can’t read it,” he stammered. “W-will you?” 

“Yeah.” Gabriel pushed himself to his feet and grabbed the letter from where Castiel had dropped it. 

Castiel shut his eyes again and let his head rest against the base of the counter. “Okay,” he said after he took a deep breath. “I’m ready.” 

Gabriel cleared his throat and Castiel heard the paper crumpling as he straightened out the letter. “Castiel,” Gabriel began. “As I’m sure you’ve heard, I’m out of my cage. Finding you was not easy, but I needed to inform you that you can’t run from me forever, and I plan to pay you a visit soon. Lucifer.” Gabriel let out a breath. “Fuck.” 

Castiel nodded in agreement as he tried to swallow down the bile building in his throat. The longer he sat there, the more he realized he wasn’t going to be able to hold it down. He blanched as he pushed himself to his feet, making a beeline for the bathroom. He barely made it before his stomach was pushing up his lunch. He gagged into the toilet bowl, barely even managing to keep himself upright, his trembling hands making it hard to get a grip on the porcelain.

Gabriel was suddenly by his side, a hand on his back trying to help him through the convulsions. “No, I need to speak to him  _ now _ !” Gabriel shouted, startling Castiel and causing him to look up at his brother, vomit dripping from his chin. Gabriel was on the phone and he gave Castiel’s back a soft pat just as his stomach churned again and he was forced to turn back to the toilet. “Tell him it’s his brother and it’s  _ important _ and I don’t care if he’s meeting with the fucking  _ President _ , this is a matter of life or death.” 

Castiel gagged again but this time nothing came up and he spat into the bowl and reached over to flush the toilet. He wiped at his mouth and pushed himself up against the wall, trying to get his breath back. 

“Cassie, you good?” Gabriel asked, covering the receiver with his hand. Castiel forced a nod and Gabriel stood up and turned the shower on before he stepped back over to Castiel and tugged at his shirt. “Come on take this off it’s covered in throw up.” 

Castiel stopped Gabriel’s hands before they could reveal his scars and he swallowed thickly, the taste of vomit still strong on his tongue. “I’ve got it,” he rasped. 

Gabriel eyed Castiel skeptically but nodded. “Fine. Just holler if you need anything.” Gabriel stood and left, shutting the door behind him just as Castiel heard him shout, “Finally! No, I don’t care what meeting you were in--!” Castiel pressed his ear to the door, listening in on the conversation as the room began to cloud with mist from the hot water. “No it’s not that-- would you  _ shut up and listen _ ! It’s Lucifer, Michael. It’s fucking  _ Lucifer.  _ I don’t know how he found us, but he sent a letter practically threatening Cassie-- I’m not lying! I’ll send you a fucking picture if you want, it’s Lucifer’s handwriting--!” 

Castiel felt his stomach lurch sickeningly again and he crawled back towards the toilet but nothing came up. He took a few deep breaths trying to force himself to calm down, to think about anything but his older brother holding him face down in a bathtub. 

The last thing he wanted to do was take a shower, but he knew he had to. There was sick all over his shirt and he felt disgusting, like just hearing Lucifer’s name again, seeing his writing, and hearing his open ended threat, had made him unclean. 

He could barely get his arms to work, but eventually he managed to pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside. His belt took multiple tries to get off and he could barely push his pants down without feeling like he was going to throw up again. But once he was free of his garments, he sat on the floor for another moment, forcing air into his lungs and trying not to panic again. 

After several deep breaths, he pushed himself to his feet and stumbled into the shower. The water burned his skin but the pain was welcome, it snapped him to his senses and he let the hot water glide over his shoulders, dampening his neck and washing away the remnants of vomit from his body. He scrubbed at every inch of himself, trying to wash away the horrible memories, and when the water ran cold he stayed there for another minute, letting the change in temperature ground him. 

He was still shaky when he stepped out of the shower, but he forced himself to brush his teeth and gather up his dirty clothes before heading into his room to change; Gabriel’s voice was coming from the other room so Castiel assumed he was still on the phone. When he reached his room he pulled on an old t-shirt and some sweatpants and then fished his phone out of his dirty pants pocket and set it on his bedside table. 

His eyes caught on his knife, sitting innocently beside his phone and the urge to take it and draw it across his skin was too strong to resist. He needed relief, he needed to stop thinking about Lucifer and he needed that dizzying feeling in his head to go away. 

He reached for the knife and flipped it open. The cut on his shoulder from a few days ago was still too fresh to add to, so he slipped his pants down slightly and let the blade slide across his upper thigh. The endorphins filled him instantly and he shut his eyes against it, as if he was taking his first breath of air. 

When he wiped away the blood with a tissue and closed the knife, he sighed and let himself fall back on his bed. The shame that followed his act immediately rushed over him but he shoved it down, instead focusing on the relief it had given him. 

He’d only been laying there for a few minutes when his phone buzzed, causing him to jump. He reached for it and when he saw the name flashing on his screen he felt more relief flood through him. 

**_Dean [7:02 P.M.]_ ** _ Hey Cas, I just wanted to say thanks again for the vase, the flowers fit perfectly.  _

Cas’ heart warmed at the message and he managed to type out his reply without his hands shaking. 

**_You [7:03 P.M.]_ ** _ You’re welcome, I’m glad to hear they fit. _

**_Dean [7:03 P.M.]_ ** _ I still can’t believe we live so close to each other.  _

**_You [7:03 P.M.]_ ** _ Neither can I, but it makes sense. This apartment complex is one of the only in this area.  _

**_Dean [7:03 P.M.]_ ** _ That is true. _

**_Dean[7:04 P.M.]_ ** _ Hey, uh, would you wanna come over tomorrow after you close? I can pick you up and buy a new vase and then return yours, and we could… I dunno, hang out? It’s cool if you don’t want to.  _

Castiel felt warmth spread through him and he smiled at the invitation as Lucifer was suddenly pushed to the back of his mind. 

**_You [7:04 P.M.]_ ** _ I’d love to.  _

**_Dean [7:04 P.M.]_ ** _ Awesome, I’ll see you then.  _

**_You [7:05 P.M.]_ ** _ I look forward to it.  _

Castiel set his phone back on his bedside table and let a tiny sliver of happiness inhabit his body, shoving away the darkness he’d been feeling for the past hour. It didn’t last for long because a moment later, Gabriel knocked on his door. 

“How you doing?” he asked as he sat down on the edge of Castiel’s bed. 

“Better,” Castiel replied, and it wasn’t even a lie. His short conversation with Dean had helped him feel a lot less shaken. 

“Well, Michael says he’ll start helping you get a restraining order. He’s going to talk to our lawyer.”

Castiel nodded. “Good.” 

“You’re sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m good, Gabe.” 

“Well, just the same, I think you should stay home tomorrow. I’ll stay with you, you shouldn’t be alone. We don’t know where Lucifer is but he could try to come for you at any time.” 

“I have plans with Dean tomorrow, I have to go to work.” 

Gabriel frowned at him. “I’m all for you hanging out with Dean, but I don’t know if I’m comfortable with you being alone in your shop.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Castiel said, even though he wasn’t sure he believed it himself. 

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like it. At least let me drive you to work, I don’t want you walking where Lucifer could come up behind you.” 

Castiel rolled his eyes but nodded. “Fine. And don’t worry about picking me up, Dean will bring me home.” 

“Will he now?” Gabriel asked. 

Castiel shrugged. “Yeah, he’s stopping by to get a new vase and then he said he’d return mine.” 

“Dean seems like a good guy,” Gabriel said. 

Castiel nodded. “I think he is.”

Gabriel gave Castiel’s leg a pat and then stood up. “Well, what do you say to some dinner?” 

Castiel shook his head. “I’m not really that hungry.” 

“You should eat something.”

“If I eat I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep it down.” 

Gabriel frowned at him but nodded. “Okay, let me know if you change your mind.”

“I will.”

“Get some rest.” 

Gabriel stood and shut the door behind him with a click, leaving Castiel to his thoughts. For the first time in a long time, Castiel was scared. He’d spent so many years free of Lucifer’s torment, and knowing that he was out again, and that he knew where Castiel was, it turned his blood cold. But there was no sense in worrying about it all, there was nothing he could do but wait until he could get a hearing at a court for a restraining order. But even then, Castiel knew Lucifer would try and find a way around the restraining order. 

With a sigh, Castiel settled under his covers and reached for his light. He might as well sleep and try to focus on happier things, like his plans with Dean. 

****

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Gabriel said as he stopped outside Castiel’s shop. 

“I will,” Castiel replied as he pushed open the car door. “I’ll be fine.”

Gabriel still looked wary but he nodded. “I’ll see you when I get home.” 

Castiel felt Gabriel’s eyes on him as he pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door, pushing inside to the overwhelming scent of flowers. When he flipped the  _ CLOSED  _ sign to  _ OPEN _ and shut the door again, Gabriel finally drove off. 

Castiel set his things down in the back room and connected his computer to the speakers before pulling his book from his bag and sitting down at the checkout counter to read. 

The day passed slowly, the clock in the back corner of the shop ticking down the minutes until he could close. Despite his reassurances to Gabriel, he spent the hours jittery with nerves. Each time the door opened and the bell sounded he jumped, his heart beating in his chest so harshly he was nearly certain it would push its way out of his body, but every time it was just a customer, not Lucifer. 

Finally, as it was nearing closing time, the bell jingled and in walked Dean, instantly allowing Castiel to heave a sigh of relief. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted him.

Dean grinned, his smile wide. “Hey Cas.” 

“How are you?” Castiel asked. 

“Good, yeah, I had to go to my brother’s house and look after my nephew. Sam’s a bigshot lawyer and my sister-in-law owns an art museum in the city and there was some big presentation there today so she couldn’t pick up Peter from school.” 

Castiel loved the look Dean got on his face when he talked about his family, like there was nothing more important to him. “Sounds like you had a full day.”

Dean shrugged as he leaned against the counter. “Nah, Peter’s easy to hang out with, we just played with cars the whole time and I took him for a drive in Baby… uh, my car.”

“You named your car Baby?”

Dean rubbed a hand at the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah?” 

Castiel chuckled. “I like it.” 

Dean beamed at that. “Thanks.” 

“So, why don’t you pick a vase while I work on closing up the back and then we can get going.”

“Okay.” 

Castiel left Dean to his own devices and when he returned Dean had picked out a clear vase and was waiting for him at the counter. “Nice choice,” Castiel said as he rang him up. 

With the vase paid for, Castiel led them out of the shop and then locked the door behind them. Dean unlocked his car - Baby- and Castiel opened the passenger side door, sliding onto the front bench. 

Dean turned up the radio and Led Zeppelin’s  _ Ramble On _ flooded over the speakers. Dean tapped his fingers along to the music, humming slightly as he drove. Castiel tried to stop himself from thinking about how he could get used to this, Dean picking him up from work, sitting beside him in his beloved car while he hums along to his music, albeit slightly off key, which Castiel tried hard not to find adorable and failed. 

When they reached Dean’s apartment complex, Castiel followed him up the stairs into his apartment room. It was small, modest, but filled with personality. He noticed the couch and coffee table first, it took up most of the front room, and there was a short hallway that led to what must be Dean’s bedroom and bathroom. There was a kitchen off to the left of the entryway where the carnation and lilies were sitting in the center of the kitchen island. Past the counter, a small wooden table was pushed up near one of two windows; on the second window, Castiel spotted the flower trough and the golden petals of the sunflower.

“Make yourself at home,” Dean said as he moved over to the sink to fill up his new vase. 

Castiel sat down at the kitchen island and watched as Dean swapped the new vase out for Castiel’s before dumping the excess water down the drain. It was hard not to focus on the muscled planes of Dean’s back and the tight fit to his jeans, but Castiel forced his eyes not to stray. When Dean turned back to Castiel he smiled. 

“So,” Dean said as he braced himself on his arms against the counter. “Have you always been into flowers?” 

Castiel started slightly at the question but he found himself nodding. “Yes, when I was little I used to help my mother in the garden, much to my father’s chagrin.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah I know all about disapproving fathers. My Dad didn’t like that I chose photography over working in the garage with him, and he was even less approving when I brought home my first boyfriend.” 

Castiel felt hope blossom in his chest at those words but he saw Dean redden as soon as he’d spoken them and Castiel recognized the fear in his eyes at the omission. He was quick to quell Dean’s worries. “I know the feeling. My family wasn’t entirely accepting of the fact that I liked men either. Gabriel’s the only one who really supported me.” 

Relief clouded Dean’s eyes and he sagged against the counter. “Gabriel seems very protective of you.”

Castiel let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, he is. Sometimes I think he’s  _ too  _ protective.” 

“Well, as an older brother myself, I can tell you that it’s just in our nature.” Castiel smiled at that and then Dean cleared his throat. “So, uh, I guess I’ll give you the house tour, if you want? There’s not much to see.” 

“I already like what I’ve seen so far,” Castiel replied, and he didn’t just mean the apartment. 

If Dean picked up on Castiel’s horrible attempt at flirting, he didn’t show it. Instead, he gestured around the apartment. “The chair in the far corner is very close to losing a leg, so I’d recommend sticking to the couch if you want to sit.” 

“Good to know,” Castiel replied. 

“The bathroom is down the hall if you need it, but I figured I could make us some dinner and you can tell me if that sunflower actually has a fighting chance to survive in my care.” 

Castiel laughed at that. “I’m sure it’s doing well, but I’ll happily take a look at it.”

“You don’t have any allergies or anything do you?” Dean asked as he moved over to the fridge.

Castiel shook his head. “No, I’ll eat just about anything.” 

“Awesome.”

While Dean busied himself at the stove, Castiel wandered over to the window and opened it to look out at the sunflower. It looked healthy, petals gently moving in the soft wind and Castiel pressed a finger gently against the soil to check if it needed water. 

“The sunflower looks good to me,” Castiel said as he closed the window and turned back to Dean. 

“Really?” Dean asked, his back was to Castiel but he could hear the disbelief in his tone.

“Really. You’re taking good care of it.” 

“You’re not just saying that, are you?” 

“Of course not,” Castiel replied. 

“Well good, I was worried.” 

“What are you making?” Castiel asked as he moved over to the counter. 

“It’s just a chicken dish I used to make for Sam when we were kids, I don’t even think it has a proper name.” 

“It already smells amazing.” 

“I hope it tastes even better.” 

Cas left Dean to make sure the chicken didn’t burn and went to sit down on the couch. Dean’s computer was sitting open on the coffee table and Castiel felt curiosity take ahold of him. “Dean?” 

“Mmm?” Dean hummed in response. 

“Do you have any pictures you’ve taken that I can look at?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Password is Impala67, capital I, one of my projects is open in the editing software.” 

Castiel reached forward to type in the password, surprised that Dean would trust him with the password to his computer when they hardly knew each other. When the computer opened up in front of him he had to take a moment to breathe as his eyes took in the pictures. 

“Those ones are for my friend Charlie, she made me take them when we were LARPing in the park, the day I met you actually.”

“You do live action role play?” Castiel asked as he began to scroll through the pictures, careful not to disturb any of Dean’s work or press a wrong button. 

“Uh, yeah,” Dean replied as he rubbed at his neck. 

“I’ve never tried it, is it fun?” It sure looked like it was, the smiles on the faces of the people in the pictures were wide. 

“It is. I never thought I’d like it,” Dean admitted, “but Charlie roped me into it and the longer I played the more I came to enjoy it. You should come some time.” 

Castiel nodded slowly, the thought an entertaining one. “I’d love to.” 

“Awesome,” Dean replied, a grin in his voice.

Castiel continued to flip through the pictures, looking at the way Dean managed to capture the life of every moment, the vibrant colors of the costumes contrasted against the light sky, and with the way Dean angled the lens he managed to make it look like you were there with them, in the midst of battle. 

Castiel was so encapsulated by the pictures, that he jumped when Dean sat down beside him, and handed him a plate of steaming chicken. 

“Thanks,” he said, trying to hide his surprise. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay, I was just admiring your work. You really are a fantastic photographer.” 

Dean ducked his head but Castiel caught sight of red tainting his cheeks. “Well thanks.” 

Castiel was about to dig into the chicken when Dean abruptly stood up. “Oops, sorry, I forgot about the cocktails.” Castiel looked over at the counter to see that Dean had made two purple-looking cocktails. “I’m not usually one for frilly drinks, but  _ these _ are amazing,” Dean said as he sat back down. “Another thing Charlie introduced me to.”

Castiel took the drink from Dean and instantly caught a whiff of lavender. “Lavender gin cocktail,” he said as he took a sip, relishing in the flavor. 

“Yeah,” Dean replied, seemingly surprised to know that Castiel knew what the drink was. 

Castiel set it down on the coffee table and picked up his fork. “Lavender is a type of flower,” he explained. 

“Oh, right.” 

“I sell some in the shop actually.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well I’ll have to buy some,” Dean said as he sipped at his own cocktail. “We can move to the table if you want, I just didn’t want to disturb you.” 

Castiel leaned back into the couch, it was comfortable and he actually rather enjoyed the informality of it. “I’m okay to stay here.” 

Dean shrugged and dug into his food. “Okay.” 

They made small talk over dinner, Castiel explaining that he’d moved out here so his brother could run his small restaurant and that they’d found the space that was now Castiel’s flower shop by total accident. 

“I’d been taking a walk while I waited for Gabriel to come home, and I passed by it. The owner at the time was desperate to get rid of it. I’d been saving money for years just to buy a place like that, and so I took the offer. And it worked out nicely, the shop was close to our apartment so I could walk since Gabriel’s restaurant is about twenty minutes away, so he needs the car.”

“Well people really seem to like your shop, every time I come in there’s less flowers.” 

Castiel nodded as he took a bite of chicken, it was amazing, the flavors spreading over his tongue in waves. “It’s been getting a fair amount of customers, I might be able to start hiring some help soon. Although I’m apprehensive towards the idea, I’m not sure I quite like the thought of teaching teenagers about flowers and how to care for them, since I’m sure that’s the kind of help I’d end up with, kids are always looking for jobs.” 

Dean hummed in agreement. “Yeah. Teenagers are a lot, and they think they know everything, I know I certainly did.” 

“So did I.” 

“Man, I was a handful,” Dean said as he sat back against the couch. “My friend, Benny, lived in this big mansion and his parents went out of town every weekend, so we’d go there to party, but my parents didn’t like ‘the crowd I was hanging out with’, so they’d try to stop me, but I’d always manage to sneak out, I got Sammy to cover for me a lot. When my Dad found out though, he tore me a new one, I thought he was gonna kick me to the curb.” Dean sighed and sipped at his drink. “I wasn’t exactly the poster child.” 

“It sounds like you had a lot of fun,” Castiel said. It sounded like fun to him, he’d never even been to a party, Michael had never let him go to any, and Lucifer always took those nights where they were alone to torture him some more. He shivered at the memories and raised his glass to his lips to stave them off. 

Dean sighed wistfully. “Yeah, I had a good time.” 

“Dinner was excellent,” Castiel said in the lull of the conversation. 

Dean beamed at the praise. “Thanks. I like to think I’m a good cook, at least Sammy always said I was.” 

“You might even rival my brother, I don’t think he could ever make something like this.” 

“The brother that owns a restaurant?” Dean asked, incredulous. 

“Yes, Gabriel, the one you met.”

“Well, thanks Cas,” Dean replied as his blush from earlier creeped back.

“Unfortunately, I should probably be going. But we should do this again sometime, it was good to get to know you a bit more.” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, we should. It was fun.” Dean walked him to the door and handed him the empty vase. “Thanks for letting me borrow that.” 

“Of course, and I promise I’ll stop making you buy followers you don’t have room for.”

“You don’t have to, I think I’ve kinda grown attached to having flowers around, makes the place more homey.” 

Castiel smiled and Dean smiled back. “Well goodnight, Dean.” 

“‘Night Cas.” 

Dean shut the door and Castiel began the short walk to his apartment. He tried not to think about Lucifer as he walked, tried not to think that his brother could be lurking behind every corner, waiting to pounce. But when he reached his apartment unscathed, he let out a breath of relief and settled down on the couch with his book, awaiting Gabriel’s return. 

It was late when Gabriel came back, nearing eleven o’clock, and Castiel was slipping into sleep when the door opened. 

“Hey Cassie,” Gabriel greeted him. 

“How was work?” Castiel asked through a yawn.

“Busy,” Gabriel replied.

“Well that’s good, isn’t it?”

“Very, but it’s also  _ exhausting _ . I could sleep for a week. How was your date with Dean?” 

“It wasn’t a  _ date _ ,” Castiel replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Maybe not  _ yet _ .” 

Castiel sighed. “Well I did find out he’s into men.” 

“Oh?” Gabriel asked, suddenly wide awake. 

“Yes, he dropped it rather casually into conversion.” 

“He’s totally hitting on you baby bro.” 

“I don’t know if that’s what it was,” Castiel replied.

“You should make a move on him when you see him next,” Gabriel said. 

“It’s not that easy, Gabe.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

Castiel sighed and stood up. “I’m going to bed, I’m not having this conversation.” 

“I’m just saying, you should give it a shot!” Gabriel called after him 

As Castiel shut the door to his room he dared to hope that maybe Gabriel was right and Dean had been hitting on him and that maybe he  _ should _ follow his brother’s advice. He’d give it a few more days' thought and try to hang out with Dean again soon so he could decide for himself if Dean had been trying to hint that he wanted to be more than just friends. 


	5. Tagetes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tagetes- meaning, French Marigold: Admiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another Sunday! I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who have subscribed to this fic, it means a lot to know people are enjoying it! This chapter is pretty cute and fluffy so please enjoy :)

“You’ll come visit soon, right?” 

“Yeah, soon,” Dean replied as he sent off the finished product of the birthday party pictures to the mother of the devil child. 

“Dean-” 

“Mom, I will soon, I promise. I’ve just been busy.”

Mary huffed on the other end of the line but Dean knew she’d relented. “How has your photography been going?” she asked, attempting to change the subject. 

“Great, I just sent off my latest project.” 

“Is there anything I can see?” 

Cas’ flowers instantly popped into his mind and Dean clicked open the project. “Yeah, sure, I took some pictures of my friend’s flower shop, I’ll send you some.” 

“What friend is this?” Mary asked. 

“A new friend,” Dean answered. “His name is Cas,” he added after a moment. 

“You should have him over here sometime, I’d love to meet him.” 

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes as selected a few photos to send to his Mom. “You don’t have to meet every single friend I make, Mom. I’m not in middle school anymore.” 

“I know, but I just like to know who’s in your life. Maybe he could come for Thanksgiving.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Dean replied as he shut his computer and kicked back on the couch, letting his feet rest on the coffee table, which was something his mother would chastise him for if she could see what he was doing. 

“Oh I just got the pictures!” Mary exclaimed. “Oh they’re  _ gorgeous _ !” 

Dean blushed at her praise. “Thanks.” 

“Wow, Dean. Truly, you have such a gift.” 

Dean snorted. “Dad doesn’t think so.” 

Mary tsked through the phone. “Your father just doesn’t appreciate the finer things in life.” 

“No, he just didn’t like that I was half gay,” Dean spat. Instantly, regret poured through him and he swallowed hard. “Sorry. I didn’t-” 

Mary sighed. “It’s okay. As much as I hate to say it, you’re not wrong. I think he’s come to terms with it a bit more now. He still loves you, Dean, please don’t think for a second that he doesn’t... you should  _ really  _ come and visit.”

“Dad  _ tolerates _ me,” Dean replied, his tone was clipped and Dean heard Mary take in a sharp breath, “there’s a difference.” 

“Dean-” 

“I don’t want to get into this now, okay? I shouldn’t have brought Dad up.” 

“Okay, Dean,” Mary said softly. 

“Look, I’ve got to go, I have some pictures to work on for Charlie.” 

“Let me know when you’re around, we miss you.” 

You  _ miss me _ . Dean thought. 

“Yeah, I will. Probably won’t be until Thanksgiving though.” 

“Well, be sure to invite Cas.” 

_ Yeah, that’s not happening.  _ Dean would never subject Cas to an awkward family meal with his parents. 

“I will.” 

“Bye, love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

When the line went dead, Dean let out a breath of air and scrubbed a hand down his face. He loved his mother, but she would never understand that his relationship with his father wasn’t going to be mended instantly over family dinner. John Winchester didn’t want anything to do with Dean and his ‘choices’, and in turn Dean didn’t want anything to do with John. 

Dean stood and made his way to the fridge, where he pulled a beer from its chilled depths, and then made his way back to the couch. He clicked on the TV and then opened his computer so he could get to work on finishing up Charlie’s pictures. He didn’t have much left to do, just enhance some coloring on a few photos. 

It didn’t take him too long, and when he finished he sent them off to Charlie who instantly texted him a string of letters to annunciate her excitement. 

**_Charlie [9:23 P.M.]_ ** _ aghsdlhaslksdg  _

**_Charlie [9:23 P.M.]_ ** _ FINALLY _

**_You sent [9:23 P.M.]_ ** _ You’re welcome _

**_Charlie [9:24 P.M.]_ ** _ Thank you thank you thank you. They’re AMAZING!! _

Dean sighed and stood up, rolling his neck which cracked with a  _ pop _ . A yawn passed his lips and he rubbed at his eyes, suddenly realizing how tired he was. It was early, but Dean could feel his bed calling to him, so he headed off down the hall to get some much needed rest. 

****

Dean wasn’t quite sure when the middle of September hit, but somehow when he looked outside, the trees were starting to change color, reds and oranges greeting his eyes. He didn’t have any clients to work for today so he’d offered to keep Cas company at work. 

He shrugged into a light jacket and then pushed his way outside to find Cas waiting by the Impala. “Hey Cas,” Dean said as he reached him, pulling his keys from his pocket. 

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas replied. “Are you sure you want to come with me?” 

“I’m sure, I’ve got nothing planned today and I should probably get out of my apartment for a bit.”

“Okay,” Cas nodded. 

Dean unlocked the Impala and they climbed inside. He glanced at Cas and flashed him a grin, Cas smiled back, and Dean set them off towards the flower shop. Dean liked looking over and seeing Cas in the passenger seat, it just seemed right, like he belonged there. Cas was nodding along to  _ Back in Black  _ which was playing over the radio and Dean couldn’t help but fall just a little bit harder for the blue-eyed man. 

“You can park around back if you want,” Cas said as they neared the shop. 

“Awesome,” Dean replied as Cas pointed out the side road that would take them behind the shop where employees would typically park. When they climbed out of the car, Cas fiddled with his keys before opening up the back door and letting them into the enclosed garden. “Do all these flowers survive the winter?” Dean asked as he looked around the garden, still amazed at its beauty. 

“No,” Cas replied. “But they’ll bloom again in the spring.” 

Dean’s eyes caught on a yellow-orange flower and he moved over to look at them. “What are these?” 

“French marigolds,” Cas answered as he joined Dean by the flowers. Cas pointed towards one of the flowers where a small butterfly was sitting and Dean let out a soft breath at the sight. “I keep them around because they attract butterflies. They’re also pretty to look at.” 

“They are,” Dean agreed. “How long did this take you to set up?” 

“For the garden, I planted most of the flowers from pots, but the store itself took me a few months to set up. Gabriel helped, of course.”

“I don’t even remember what this place was before your shop.” 

“It was a nail salon,” Cas replied. 

“Huh, no wonder I don’t remember it.”

Cas laughed at that and Dean couldn’t help but smile at the sound. “Let’s go inside.” 

Dean followed Cas into the shop and Cas disappeared into the back room, leaving Dean to look at the flowers inside. He didn’t know what it was about Cas that had him wanting to be near him all the time, to try the things he liked; he’d never felt this way about anyone before, Cas was the first, and it excited him just as much as it scared him. 

Music started to float through the shop and Cas reappeared carrying a box. “You don’t mind helping me out restocking some shelves, do you?” 

“‘Course not,” Dean replied. “Just tell me where stuff goes.” 

Cas handed the box to Dean. “These are sunflower seeds and they go on the shelf by the window, where the sunflowers are.” 

“Got it.” 

Dean headed off to the window and set the box down by the shelf. He could hear Cas rummaging around in the back room and Dean smiled to himself as he worked. “Can you turn the sign to open!” Cas called. 

“Sure!” 

Dean reached over to flip the sign and then continued restocking the shelf. They worked in relative quiet, soft songs floating through the air around them. The music Cas was playing wasn’t entirely Dean’s taste, but he found himself enjoying them anyway. Some were quiet and peaceful, songs you could almost fall asleep to, and others were ubeat. Dean did notice that there was a recurring theme with the songs which was that they all mentioned flowers. 

When the bell above the door jingled and a customer pushed their way inside Dean looked up from where he’d been stacking pots on a shelf on the first aisle. 

“Um, hello,” a woman said as the door shut behind her. 

“Hi,” Dean greeted. 

“I’m looking for some flowers for my niece, she’s in the hospital recovering from surgery and I thought I’d get her something to cheer her up a bit.” 

“Well, I’d love to help you but I actually don’t work here, so I’m not well versed in flowers. Hey Cas!” 

Cas’ head appeared from a few aisles over. “Yes, Dean?” 

“This woman needs some flower help, I think you’re probably the better person to consult.” 

Cas chuckled. “Probably. What can I help you with?” 

Dean left Cas to his customer and went to finish restocking a shelf with some gardening tools. He could hear Cas talking to the woman in a low voice, guiding her over to some flower that Dean didn’t know the name of. 

When the woman left, loaded with a bouquet of flowers, Cas joined Dean in the aisle. “Thanks for helping me,” he said. 

“Yeah, no problem,” Dean replied. Cas’ eyes dipped to the ground suddenly and Dean blinked at him in confusion. “Is something wrong?” 

Cas shook his head. “No, sorry, it’s just… I’ve never really had friends before.” 

“Seriously?” Dean asked, surprised. 

Cas shrugged, finally meeting Dean’s gaze. “I was kind of an awkward child. I had a few friends, but I think they mostly just felt bad for me. What I meant to say, is that I’ve never really had a friend like  _ you  _ before. No one’s ever wanted to hang out with me just for fun, it was always for a school project or out of pity.” 

“Well, those people don’t know what they’re missing,” Dean said softly as he gave Cas’ shoulder a pat. “You’re pretty awesome, man.” 

Cas blushed and Dean couldn’t help but think that the red of his cheeks really complimented the blue in his eyes. “Thanks,” Cas mumbled. 

When lunchtime rolled around, Dean suggested they head to the café down the round and Cas looked over at Dean in confusion. “There’s a café down the road?” 

“Dude, where’ve you been living? Yeah, there’s a café down the road.” 

“I haven’t had much of a reason to leave the shop,” Cas replied. 

“Well, that’s changing today,” Dean said as he gave Cas a gentle push towards the door. “Charlie and I go here after LARPing, we’ve actually gone so frequently that I’ve gotten on a first name basis with the owner and employees.” 

“That’s fairly impressive,” Cas said through a small chuckle. 

“Charlie and I certainly pride ourselves in it,” Dean replied as they walked down the sidewalk. Sometimes their hands would brush against each other and Dean would feel like he’d been shocked, sparks rolling up his arm and spreading through his body. He wanted to take Cas’ hand in his own, hold it tight and never let go, but he swallowed down the urge and instead stepped ahead of Cas so he could reach for the door of the café. 

“Heyo!” Dean said as he entered the café. Some of the customers looked up from their tables but others, regulars like Dean, just shook their heads and went back to eating. 

“Is that Dean I hear?” Donna’s blond head poked out from the depths of the kitchen and Dean grinned as she stepped out from behind the counter. 

“Hey Donna,” Dean grinned as she came to pull him into a hug. 

“How are ya?” Donna asked. 

“Good, I brought a friend. This is Cas. Cas, Donna.” 

“Hiya,” Donna said as she held out a hand for Cas. 

“Nice to meet you,” Cas replied. 

“Any friend of Dean’s is a friend of mine,” Donna said as she dropped her hand and then gestured for them to follow her. “Come, come, sit.” 

Donna brought them to a table and Dean smiled up at her. “I’ll take the usual, but I think Cas will need a menu.” 

“Coming right up,” Donna promised.

“Dean, is that you?” 

Dean turned to see the lanky frame of Garth walking towards the table, a few menus under his arm. “The one and only,” Dean replied as he spread his arms wide. 

“So good to see you hombre!” Garth said with a chuckle as he set a menu down in front of Cas. 

“Yeah, you too.” 

“What brings you in today?” 

“Well, Cas here owns the flower shop down the road and I was helping him out today, thought I’d take him to the best cafe in town for lunch.”

“Ah, so you’re the one who bought that lot. How’s business been?” Garth asked. 

“Good,” Cas replied. “I get a decent amount of customers.” 

“That’s great to hear. So,” Garth said as he turned to look at Dean, “Donna’s already got you set with drinks?” 

“Yup. I just ordered the usual, but Cas hasn’t had a chance to look at anything yet.”

“I think I’ll just take a water,” Cas said. 

“You sure you don’t want to try one of our berry delight smoothies. Dean can vouch for them, they’re incredible.” 

“It’s true.” 

Cas sighed through a smile. “Alright then, put me down for a smoothie too.” 

“Sweet, I’ll have that right out for you.” 

As Garth walked away, Dean leaned over and pointed at a sandwich on the menu in front of Cas. “The chicken mozzarella caprese is so good.”

“Is that what you got?” Cas asked. 

Dean shook his head and let himself fall back in his chair. “Nah. I always get the bacon cheeseburger, but I’ve had everything on the menu at least once.” 

“Maybe I’ll give it a try,” Cas said fondly as his eyes continued to roam over the menu.

Garth returned with their drinks and took Cas’ order and then Dean raised his pineapple mango smoothie into the air. “Cheers,” he said. 

Cas lifted his own smoothie, strawberry and banana by the looks of it, and clinked his glass against Dean’s. “Cheers.” 

Dean watched as Cas took his first sip and when his eyes widened Dean grinned. “See, told you it was good.” 

“That is amazing.” 

“Donna knows her way around a blender,” Dean said as he sipped at his own smoothie. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place.” 

“You haven’t even had the food yet, just you wait.” 

“If it’s anything like the smoothies, I’m sure I’ll be coming back here more often.” 

Dean huffed out a soft laugh and tried to hide his smile at Cas’ adorable amazement. “I’m sure you’ll be back, buddy.” 

When Donna came out carrying their food, Dean rubbed his hands together in anticipation as she set down his burger in front of him. “Enjoy,” Donna said with a smile. 

“Oh we will,” Dean replied as he reached forward to pick up the greasy goodness. His first bite was heavenly and he had to stifle the moan he made around the perfectly toasted bun. 

He eyed Cas over his burger, watching him pick up his sandwich and take his first bite. “Oh,” Cas mumbled around the sandwich in his mouth. “Oh wow.”

“Right!?” 

“That is one of the best sandwiches I’ve ever had in my life.”

“You’re welcome,” Dean said as he took another large bite of his bacon cheeseburger. 

They ate in silence, both too engrossed in their food to form conversation. And when Dean was just starting to work on his fries, he looked up to see that Cas was finished with his sandwich and was looking at him. 

“What?” he asked, wiping at his mouth, afraid there was something on his face. 

Cas started and blinked. “Sorry, I think I spaced out there for a moment.” 

“Well do you want to try some fries? They’re homemade.” 

“If you’re willing to part with some,” Cas replied. 

“Usually I wouldn’t, but you should have the full experience,” Dean said as he pushed some of his fries onto Cas’ plate. 

“Did Donna make them?” Cas asked as he picked one up. 

“She makes everything.” Dean shoved a fry in his mouth as Cas bit into his and he grinned when Cas’ mouth nearly dropped. 

“How is this café not more popular? The food is exquisite.”

“I dunno man, but it’s popular enough.” 

“And how is everything?” Garth asked as he pulled up beside their table. 

“Awesome, as usual,” Dean answered. 

“My compliments to the chef,” Cas added. 

“Donna will be happy to hear that,” Garth said. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately, Charlie hasn’t been able to secure the park, and I’ve had to work,” Dean said over another french fry. 

“We have missed you, but we know you’re a busy man,” Garth replied. “How is Charlie?”

“Good, busy working for the IT department, but good. I’ll be sure to bring her along next time.”

“Please do.” 

“Well, I think we’ll take the check now, unless you want anything else, Cas?” 

Cas shook his head. “No, I’m full, thanks.” 

“Sweet, I’ll be back with the check.” 

Dean shifted in his seat so he could reach his wallet and was about to pull out his credit card when Cas said, “Dean, I’ll pay for it.” 

“What? No, Cas, it’s my treat.” 

“Dean, you’ve already bought so much from me, and driven me to and from work, please let me pay for the meal.” 

“Cas, that’s not necessary.” 

Cas leveled him with a sharp glare but his eyes were pleading. “Dean, it’s the least I can do, please.” 

Dean sighed and reluctantly slipped his wallet back in his pocket. “Fine, just this once.” 

Cas smiled in triumph as Garth returned with the check. “Thank you.” 

With the check paid for, Dean let Garth pull him into a hug and waved goodbye to Donna. “Have a good one!” Donna called over the counter. 

“You too,” Dean replied. When they left the café, Cas turned to go back towards the shop but Dean reached out and grabbed him by the arm. “Let’s go to the park for a little while.” 

“Dean, I have a store to run.” 

“I know, but another thirty minutes away from work won’t kill you.” Cas looked apprehensive but Dean knocked their shoulders together, gently jostling him. “Come on, it’s a beautiful day, we should take advantage of this opportunity.” 

Cas heaved a sigh but nodded. “Okay.” 

“Yes!” Dean grinned, smug at his victory. 

When they entered the park, Dean led Cas down one of the paths towards the back of the park. “This is the part of the park that Charlie usually gets to use for LARPing,” he said over the crunch of fallen leaves under their feet. 

“It’s beautiful. I haven’t been to the park much since I moved in,” Cas said fondly as he looked up at the trees. 

“Seriously?” 

Cas shrugged. “I just haven’t had much time.” 

“You really need to hire some help for the shop, you can’t do it all alone. It’ll run you into the ground.” 

“I know I do.” 

“So start advertising that you’re hiring.” 

“I suppose I should.” Cas sounded resigned and Dean pulled him to a stop by a big oak tree in the process of shedding its leaves. 

“What’s holding you back?” 

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know.” 

“You need the help, Cas. I can help you put up signs if you want.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“What if I want to?” 

“Do you really want to?” 

“Yeah, I do, but not because I think putting up help wanted signs is a great way to spend an afternoon, but because I like hanging out with you and I want to be able to do that more often. So yeah, I’ll help you put up signs, Cas.”

Cas shook his head, a small smile on his lips. “I want to hang out with you more too.” Dean’s heart skipped a beat at that and he felt warm all over, even in the mid-September chil. “I’ll work on some signs.” 

“Awesome.” 

As they continued to walk, Dean was suddenly overcome with the urge to take some pictures. He let Cas pull ahead of him and then he dropped to one knee as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He lined the shot up, making sure Cas was framed by the trees on either side of the path, and then he snapped the picture. 

Cas turned around just as Dean was standing back up. “Dean?” Cas asked. “What’re you doing?” 

Dean smiled as he joined Cas in the middle of the path. “Just taking some pictures,” he said as he held out his phone for Cas to see. 

“Oh,” Cas gasped softly. 

“I’ll send it to you,” Dean said as he clicked open Cas’ contact. 

“Please do.” 

Once the picture was sent off, Dean hooked an arm around Cas’ shoulders and pulled him in, holding his phone up on selfie mode. Cas was already smiling, caught by surprise at Dean’s sudden movement, and Dean took the picture, making sure the colorful trees were in the background. 

“I’ll send this one too.” 

“Thanks,” Cas said as he slowly pulled away from Dean. 

Dean pocketed his phone and then turned back the way they had come. “I won’t keep you from your shop for much longer.”

As they began their walk back towards Cas’ shop, the weight of the pictures he’d taken sat heavy in his pocket. He knew from the moment he’d taken them that they were going to become two of his favorite pictures and the want to pull Cas aside and tell him about the feelings that were growing in his chest with each passing moment was so strong, it took all his will power not to give in. 

But he knew that there was no ignoring how he was feeling for his new friend, he was completely gone on Cas, and sooner or later, he was going to have to tell him. 


	6. Ranunculus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranunculus- meaning, buttercup: charm, attractiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! I hope everyone's had a good week. Please enjoy this chapter and don't be afraid to let me know what you think, comments and kudos mean the world to me :)

Castiel looked over at where Michael sat across from him, in his tailored suit with his perfectly combed hair, one hand was idly tapping against his knee in clear impatience. 

“You said you were working on setting up a court date. It’s been almost a month. Did it just slip your mind or something that your brother received a threatening letter in the mail!?” Gabriel practically shouted. 

Michael sighed. “Of course it has not escaped my memory, Gabriel.”

“So what then? You’ve had better things to do?” 

“I have been rather busy in the senate,” Michael replied. “You know, you are both adults, you don’t need me to baby you, you can make your own court appointments.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes as he sank down beside Castiel on the couch. “I know but you’re the one who’s always handled these things, and besides, you have connections, you can bump Cassie’s case up.” 

“My ‘connections’ can only do so much. I don’t want to call in too many favors all at once.” 

“So what I’m hearing, is that our brother’s safety isn’t on the top of your priority list right now?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Michael retorted. 

Michael’s brother’s jaw clenched visibly and Castiel stood up abruptly. “Can we not fight? Please,” he begged, trying to play mediator. 

“Sorry,” Gabriel muttered. 

Michael let out a heavy breath of air. “I apologize, Castiel. I do care about your safety, of course I do, and I will try to speak with our lawyer tomorrow evening.”

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Gabriel said. Castiel turned to look at him, surprised to hear his voice sound so broken, so unlike the playful and humorous brother he knew. “I mean, I thought he’d be gone forever, I thought we-  _ you _ , were free.” 

“It is rather troublesome that he is out so soon,” Michael agreed, his civility returning to him in the wake of Gabriel’s comment. 

Castiel could feel another panic attack coming on, just at the thought of Lucifer being out of prison, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut and take a few deep breaths before he could look at his brothers again. “Do we still not know how he managed to get out so early?” 

Michael shook his head. “I’m afraid not. Although I’m sure it will be looked into.” 

“It better be,” Gabriel growled. 

Michael stood up, buttoning his suit jacket up as he did, and fixed Castiel with a gaze that bordered on caring. “I have to go, but I promise you, Castiel, we will get to the bottom of this and Lucifer will not get away with hurting you again.” 

Castiel nodded, allowing the smallest of smiles to touch his lips. “Thank you.” 

“Stay well, brothers. I’ll let you know how the meetings go.” 

“Bye,” Gabriel said as Michael saw himself to the door. Once it was shut behind him, Gabriel let out an exasperated sigh. “He’s insufferable.” 

“He is, but I do believe he’s trying.” 

“Not hard enough. I mean you were  _ threatened _ , Cassie. Lucifer knows where we live, he could be out there right now!” 

“I know,” Castiel’s voice shook, and he could feel the panic returning to his body. He slumped against the back of the couch, allowing his eyes to fall shut as he tried to block out the images swirling under his eyelids. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Gabriel began, but Castiel cut him off, forcing his eyes open. 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, I should have realized, I’m sorry.”

“I just…” Castiel took a shaky breath. “I can’t stop thinking about him. I thought I was doing better, but now that he’s out…” 

“I know,” Gabriel said as he looped an arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug. 

“I thought it was over, but I don’t think… I don’t think it’s ever going to be over.” 

“Not until that bastard is dead,” Gabriel replied, venom in his words. 

Castiel stayed in Gabriel’s embrace until he started to nod off and then he made the executive decision to head to bed, hoping that he’d make it through another day where Lucifer wouldn’t show his face. 

****

“Come on, Cas, it’ll be fun,” Dean pleaded, green eyes bright. 

Castiel sighed, finally giving in. “Fine.” 

“You’ll come?” Dean asked. 

“I’ll come.” 

“Yes!” Dean howled in victory. “Dude, it’s gonna be so fun, trust me, I go every year, and Charlie holds all these contests. I bet we’ll kick all the competition in the ass.” 

Castiel smiled at Dean’s enthusiasm. He’d never been to a LARPing event before, least of all one that was on Halloween night. It was still a few weeks away, but Dean had been pestering him to go since last month, saying Charlie needed a headcount sooner rather than later. 

“There is one problem,” Castiel said.

“What’s that?” 

“I don’t have a costume.” 

“That can be fixed,” Dean replied.

“Do  _ you  _ have a costume?” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I’m going as a squire. I have the costume for it, since it’s basically what I wear for LARPing anyway. Oh!” Dean gasped as he snapped his fingers and pointed at Cas. “You should go as a knight! I could be your squire.” 

Castiel huffed a laugh, trying to squish the feeling that had erupted in his chest when Dean said  _ your squire _ . “I don’t know about that.” 

“Oh come on, you’d rock a suit of armor. I bet Charlie has some stuff lying around.”

“I’ll think about it,” Castiel replied. 

Dean pouted at him but nodded. “Fine, but think hard.” 

“I assure you, it will be in the forefront of my mind.” 

“Okay. Purple and orange are the colors, right?” Dean asked as he held up two frosting bags, steering the conversation away from LARPing, he was making a birthday cake for Charlie and had enlisted Castiel’s help. 

“Yes,” he replied. They were the lesbian pride flag colors and Dean was going to fill the cake with them to surprise her. 

“Good, just checking. Okay assistant, I need you to hold the cake steady while I frost.” 

Castiel reached out to hold the plate while Dean began to frost it. “What time did she say she was coming?”

“About thirty minutes,” Dean replied. “We’ve got plenty of time.” 

“Good, I just wanted to make sure she wouldn’t come barging in.” 

When both layers of the cake were frosted, Dean set it aside on the stove and then he retreated to his room to get the bags of presents he’d bought for Charlie. Castiel busied himself with tidying up the kitchen, wiping away spots of frosting that had leaked onto the counter, and watering Dean’s sunflower because it looked a little dry. 

At 7:00 on the dot, there was a knock on the door and Dean opened it to reveal a very vibrant red-head. 

“Dean!” she exclaimed as she pulled him into a tight hug. Over Dean’s shoulder Castiel locked eyes with her and she dropped Dean almost instantly in favor of coming over to him. “And you must be Cas!” Before Castiel could do anything to stop her, she’d wrapped her arms around him and was squeezing him so hard that he felt like his ribs were going to break. “I can’t believe we’ve haven’t met until now!” 

“Yes, hello,” he said once she finally released him. “Nice to meet you.”

Charlie looked him up and down twice and then nodded in approval. “Yup, you’re a keeper.” 

“Uh, thank you?” Castiel said, confused. 

Dean let out a soft laugh, one that Castiel read as uncomfortable, and pulled Charlie into a side hug, jostling her slightly. “Come on birthday girl, I’ve got some presents for you.”

“Ooo, presents,” Charlie gasped as she let Dean lead her to the couch. 

“It’s only a few things, but I thought you might like them.” 

Charlie tore into the first bag and when she pulled out a long, thin, rectangular box, her eyes lit up. “You  _ didn’t _ !” 

“I did.” 

“No  _ way _ !” Charlie squeaked as she opened the box to reveal a stick with a tulip flower at the end. 

“What is that?” Castiel asked, confused as to why Charlie would want a flower-themed stick.

Charlie stared at him in shock. “It’s Luna Lovegood’s wand!” she exclaimed, as if it should be obvious. 

“Who’s Luna Lovegood?” 

Charlie gasped in horror and looked between Dean and Castiel and then back again. “You don’t know who Luna Lovegood is?” 

“No,” Castiel replied. 

“How do you not know what  _ Harry Potter  _ is!?” 

_ Harry Potter _ . Castiel had heard the name, he knew it was a famous movie franchise but he’d never seen it before. “I’ve heard of it.” 

“But you’ve never watched it?” Charlie asked, incredulous.

“No. I never really had the time.” 

“We’re watching the first movie tonight,” Charlie said, her tone leaving no room for discussion. 

“It’s your birthday, we can do whatever you want,” Dean replied. “Right, Cas?” 

Castiel nodded. “Right.” 

Charlie grinned at them, and then set the wand aside and dug through the next present bag. She unearthed a  _ Star Trek  _ t-shirt as well as a bag of chocolates and a book. “ _ The Hobbit _ ,” Charlie said thoughtfully as she flipped slowly through the pages.

Dean shrugged. “Yeah. I just remembered that you said you lost your copy and so I thought I’d get you a new one.” 

Charlie smiled at Dean and Castiel thought he saw tears in her eyes. “Thank you.” 

“‘Course,” Dean replied, slightly bashful as he looked down at the carpet. Charlie stood to hug him again and when they pulled apart, Dean clapped his hands together. “Now that presents are out of the way, we can do cake.”

“Yes, cake!” Charlie shouted gleefully. 

“Go sit down,” Dean ordered. Charlie went over to the table and Dean headed towards the cake with Castiel trailing behind him. “Care to do the honors?” Dean asked as he held out the lighter to Castiel.

“Sure,” Castiel agreed. He took the lighter and clicked it on, holding it up to each candle wick until it caught fire. Once all the candles were lit, Dean picked up the cake and Castiel followed Dean around the kitchen island towards Charlie. 

“Happy birthday, to you,” Dean began to sing and Castiel joined in with him.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Charlie, happy birthday to you.” 

Dean set the cake down in front of her and Charlie smiled at the flickering candles and then shut her eyes before blowing them out. “How big of a piece do you want?” Dean asked. 

“Pretty big,” Charlie replied. Dean cut her a fairly good sized piece and set it down on a plate. Only when he put the cake down in front of her, did she gasp. “Oh my god!”

Dean grinned at her. “You like it?” 

“I  _ love  _ it!” 

“I’m glad.” 

After they ate as many slices of cake as they wanted, they piled onto the couch and Dean turned on the first  _ Harry Potter  _ movie. 

By the end of the night, they’d watched the first two movies and Castiel was pleased to say that he enjoyed them. Even despite Charlie whispering through it telling him that  _ ‘this is a good part’  _ or  _ ‘this is important, pay attention’ _ , he still found that it was entertaining and Charlie made him promise to watch the rest of them. 

“I will.” 

“You better.” 

“I can hold another watch party next week if you want,” Dean said. 

“Cas could crash our Friday movie nights,” Charlie suggested. 

“If you’re cool with that,” Dean replied. 

“Of course I am!” 

“Alright, what do ya say, Cas? You game?” 

“I don’t want to intrude on your time together,” Castiel said, skeptically.

“You’re not  _ intruding _ ,” Charlie replied with a half roll of her eyes. “We’re  _ inviting  _ you.” 

Castiel took one more second to ponder the invitation before he nodded. “Okay then.” 

“Sweet! See you on Friday. Bye, Dean, thanks for another great birthday, and it was really nice meeting you, Cas.” 

“Goodbye,” Castiel said as she disappeared out the door.

“So, what did you think of her?” Dean asked once they were alone. 

“I like her,” Castiel replied, a smile on his lips. “She seems fun.” 

“She is.” 

“Do you need any help cleaning up?” Castiel asked as he looked over at the half-eaten cake and dirty dishes.

“Nah man, it’s not that much. You should get home before Gabriel thinks you died or something.” 

Castiel glanced at his watch to see that it was already 11:45. “Oh, yes, I should be going.”

“Night, Cas,” Dean said as Castiel slipped into his coat. 

“Goodnight, Dean.”

****

Castiel didn’t know why he brought them home, there was absolutely no reason for him to bring them home, but he did it anyway. The flowers sat on his bedside table, staring at him with something Castiel could only describe as judgement. 

Dean had invited him pumpkin carving tonight, it was nothing special, just another one of their hangouts, but Castiel still felt like he should bring something. Wine was too much of a stretch, he was horrible at cooking so bringing a dish of some sort was out of the question, but flowers… flowers Castiel knew, flowers Castiel could get away with. He’d been giving Dean flowers since they met anyway, it was nothing new, nothing that two friends couldn’t engage in. 

But the longer he looked at the flowers, the more he realized that these flowers were the farthest thing from Dean’s ‘kind of thing’. They were buttercups, flowery and yellow, probably too vibrant for Dean’s dark apartment; but that was partially why he wanted Dean to have them, so maybe his apartment wouldn’t be so glumb.

The look of the buttercups wasn’t all Castiel was worried about. Buttercups had meaning. Castiel had studied flowers, studied their origins, their uses in medicinal purposes, but mostly he’d been intrigued by their meanings. Buttercups symbolized being attracted to someone, if you want someone to know you like them, you give them a buttercup. 

Castiel likes Dean. He’s well aware of that fact, every time he looks at Dean he gets this feeling in his chest, like something is squirming to get out, but he wasn’t so sure he was ready for Dean to know. Not that Dean would have any way of knowing what the flowers meant, it was clear that Dean was none the wiser as to what any kind of flower may mean underneath its pretty petals, save possibly knowing that a rose symbolizes love. 

Dean would not see through his gift if Castiel were to give it to him, but still he hesitated, wondering if he should even bother bringing flowers at all. He could keep the buttercups for himself, make a space for them on his bedside table, and forget all about giving them to Dean. 

A voice whispered in his head, telling him to take the flowers with him when he leaves, but another voice countered that one, warning him that Dean may laugh. 

In the end, Dean didn’t laugh. 

Castiel somehow managed to sneak the flowers out of the apartment without Gabriel seeing them and when he knocked on the door and held them out to Dean, his face split into the softest of smiles and he pulled Castiel into a hug. 

“I just thought I should bring something for you, seeing as you wouldn’t let me help pay for the pumpkins.”

“Dude, you didn’t have to,” Dean said as he filled up a vase to put them in.

“I wanted to.” 

The faintest blush creeped past the collar of Dean’s shirt and he turned away, clearly trying to keep it from reaching Castiel’s eyes; too little too late. “Well thanks, I love them.” 

“They’re buttercups,” Castiel explained, in lieu of a better topic of discussion. 

“They’re pretty,” Dean commented as he arranged them in the vase. 

Castiel shrugged, trying for a nonchalant tone. “All flowers are pretty in their own different ways. Flowers are like people in that respect, different yet beautiful, similar and dissimilar, each one unique.” 

Castiel looked up from where he’d been staring at the buttercups to see Dean gaping at him. “Dude, poetic much?” 

Castiel smiled softly. “Gabriel has told me I have a way with words.”

“Well Gabriel is right.” There was a small lapse of silence between them until Dean pulled his eyes from Castiel’s and looked over at the pumpkins that were sitting on the counter. “Shall we get carving?” 

Castiel nodded. “We shall.” 

Dean handed Castiel a knife and they began to cut the tops off their pumpkins, the only sound in the apartment was the rhythmic sawing sound of two blades piercing through the fruits. When they began to scoop the insides out and lay them on the paper Dean had set out, things started to get messy. When Dean’s hand was deep inside a half hollowed out pumpkin, Castiel was none the wiser to his plan, until two seconds before it happened. 

While Castiel was busy trying to get a particularly stubborn patch of seeds from his pumpkin, Dean took his distraction to get the advantage of surprise, and fling pumpkin guts in his direction. It hit Castiel upside the head and he turned to glare at Dean, a string of pumpkin clinging to his hair. 

“That was very rude,” he said as he peeled it from his hair before flicking it towards Dean. 

Dean leaped out of the way and Castiel grabbed some of his own pumpkin’s guts to throw at Dean. His aim caused Dean to get a faceful of slimy pumpkin and Dean jumped back in surprise. 

“Hey!” Dean yelped. 

“Payback,” Castiel replied with a shrug. 

Soon their pumpkins were forgotten and they were having a war with the insides of their yet to be carved creations. Dean ducked behind the counter and Castiel chucked a piece of pumpkin, seeds still clinging to it, over the barrier between them. He knew he hit home when Dean grunted out a surprised squeak and attempted to throw the guts back at Castiel (he missed him by a long shot). 

When they’d both ran out of things to throw, Castiel poked his head out from under his side of the counter to see that Dean was already looking back at him. “Truce?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded, a smile on his face. “Truce.” 

“Help me clean this shit up,” Dean said as he stood. 

Castiel bit back a laugh at the lump of pumpkin that was sticking to the top of his head. “How about you start with yourself.” 

“Huh?” 

“Here,” Castiel stepped over towards Dean and reached up to his hair, gently pulling out the pumpkin from where it had nestled itself. 

“Oh,” Dean said, Castiel could hear Dean’s throat click as he swallowed and when their eyes met, Castiel had to force himself not to let his gaze dip to Dean’s lips. “Thanks.” 

“Of course,” Castiel replied as he finally stepped away from Dean, allowing them both to recover their personal space and take in a few breaths of air. 

They got to work picking up the bits of pumpkin they could find on the floor and then returned to their abandoned art work. “Do you know what you’re gonna carve?” Dean asked. 

“A flower, probably,” Castiel replied. “I was thinking a few sunflowers, maybe a buttercup. What about you?” 

“Gonna try to carve Baby, but we’ll see how that goes.”

“I wish you luck.” 

“Thanks, man,” Dean said as his knife dug into the side of the pumpkin and drew his first line in the Impala’s frame. 

It took all Castiel’s strength not to stare and the muscles twitching along Dean’s arm as he carved, or the way his tongue stuck out of his mouth, gently held between his teeth as he concentrated. When Dean looked up at him, Castiel quickly looked away and focused on his own pumpkin and the intricate flower design he was about to attempt. 

Eventually, they both had something carved into their pumpkins. Castiel’s flowers turned out okay-looking and Dean’s Impala actually came out fairly recognizable. 

“That’s not too bad,” Castiel said as he looked over Dean’s shoulder at his pumpkin. 

Dean grinned. “Yeah, not too shabby. Yours looks awesome.” 

Castiel glanced at his own pumpkin, the petals of the sunflower he’d carved snaking up towards the top of the pumpkin. “Thank you.” 

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for uh, for coming over.” 

“Thank you for having me.” 

“Any time, man.” 

Castiel shifted his pumpkin on the counter and then glanced over at Dean. “Do you have any upcoming photography projects?” 

Dean shook his head. “Nah, I took the next couple weeks off so I could help plan Charlie’s LARPing event.” 

“I see.” 

“I can’t wait for you to see it. It’ll be so much fun, Charlie puts on a great party.” 

“I’m excited.”

“Me too,” Dean grinned. “I found you a knight costume, if you want to wear it.” 

“I suppose I can, I wasn’t able to think of anything better.” 

“Awesome.” 

Castiel let Dean drag him into a hug, which lasted for a few moments longer than it probably should have, before he picked up his pumpkin and bid Dean a goodnight. 

He walked home quickly, still on edge at the thought that Lucifer could be anywhere, but he still made it back safely and was greeted with the sight of Gabriel passed out on the couch and the TV playing the end credits of some movie Castiel didn’t know the name of. It was just after eight, but Gabriel had been having a busy week and was often heading to work on less than five hours of sleep. 

Castiel didn’t have the heart to wake him, so he set his pumpkin down on the kitchen counter and pulled a blanket over Gabriel’s sleeping form before shutting off the lights and retreating to his room. 

He felt excitement in his stomach when he thought about how he’d agreed to join Dean on Halloween in the park. He wasn't someone who did parties, they were too loud and filled with way too many people for Castiel to be comfortable. But, over the years, Castiel had slowly started to crawl out of his sheltered shell, and going to a party was something that he hadn’t yet managed to bring himself to do, but with Dean there, maybe, just maybe it would be alright. 


	7. Aster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aster- meaning daisy: new beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy new year! How fitting that this chapter means new beginnings just as we enter 2021! I'm sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out. The holiday's didn't leave me much time for writing so I was very behind on this fic. 
> 
> I do come bearing some bad news, though. I'm going to stop doing weekly updates for a little while because I've been writing non stop for a very long time and it's started taking a toll on my health. I'm okay, so please don't worry, I just need some time to recharge so this fic can be the best it can be. I've decided to take a little break for a bit, so I'm going to take two weeks off at first and after that depending on how I'm feeling I might start posting every other week until I can start doing weekly again. If I decide to take more than two weeks off, I will post on my Tumblr, so you can head over there to get all updates regarding this fic. (I'm going to post this note at the end of this chapter too, just to make sure everyone sees it because I know some people don't read the beginning notes).
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think :)

“Dean’s here!” Sarah shouted over her shoulder as Dean entered the house, shutting the door behind him. 

“Hi,” Dean greeted his sister-in-law as he pulled her into a hug. 

“Hi,” Sarah replied as Sam came out from around the corner. 

“Hey, Dean,” Sam said as Dean extracted himself from Sarah so he could hug his brother. 

“Heya, Sammy.” 

“Uncle Dean!” Peter shouted as he came barreling into the room where he raced towards Dean and wrapped his tiny arms around Dean’s legs, hugging him tight.

“Hey kiddo,” Dean said as he ruffled Peter’s hair. “How’s my favorite nephew?” 

“Good!” Peter exclaimed. 

“Awesome,” Dean replied as Peter’s arms finally left his legs. 

“Dinner’s almost ready, but do you want a beer in the meantime?” Sarah asked.

“I’d love one.” 

“So, how’ve you been?” Sam asked as they headed into the living room. 

“Good, yeah. You?”

“Busy.” 

Dean nodded in understanding. “I’ll bet.” 

“I’ve been assigned a pretty complicated case and even I don’t fully believe the guy I’m supposed to be defending is innocent.” 

“Well that’s the job then, isn’t it? You’ve got to do the work even if you don’t believe it.” 

Sam nodded. “Yeah.” 

Sarah returned with the beer and Dean took it from her gratefully. “And how’re things at the museum?” Dean asked.

“Oh, great,” Sarah replied. “We had a field trip come in the other day from the middle school.” 

“That’s good for business, right?” 

“Right,” Sarah agreed before she disappeared back into the kitchen to tend to their dinner.

“And what’ve you been up to, Peter?” Dean asked.

“I learned to ride a bike without training wheels!” 

Dean raised an eyebrow at his nephew in surprise. “Really?” 

Peter nodded rigorously. “Mhm.” 

“It’s true, Peter is now a two-wheeler rider,” Sam said proudly.

“That’s great, kiddo! Are you ready for Halloween?” 

Peter grinned in excitement. “Yes!” 

“What’re you going to be?” 

“A werewolf!” 

“Wow, that’s scary.” 

Peter let out a growl and charged at Dean, jumping onto him where he sat on the couch. “I’m gonna be the scariest werewolf ever!” 

“I’m sure you are,” Dean said through a chuckle.

“Dinner’s ready!” Sarah called. 

“Better give her a hand,” Sam said as he stood up. “Can you help Peter wash up?”

“Sure,” Dean replied. “Come on Peter, let’s go get you cleaned up.” 

“I can do it myself,” Peter said indignantly.

“I know you can, big guy,” Dean said as he turned on the bathroom light and let Peter move towards the sink. “Your Dad just wants me to make sure you’re actually washing your hands.” 

Peter turned on the faucet and then reached for the soap. “I am.” 

Once Peter was done, Dean quickly washed his own hands and then they headed to the dining room where Sam and Sarah were waiting for them. They’d made a ham with mashed potatoes and broccoli with hollandaise sauce. 

“This looks delicious,” Dean said as he sat down across from Peter. 

“Should taste delicious too,” Sarah replied as she placed a plate in front of him. “The part of it that Sam didn’t burn, anyway.” 

Dean chuckled as he picked up his fork. “Sam’s a disaster in the kitchen, I don’t know why you’d even let him near the oven.” 

“Hey! I’m not that bad,” Sam protested.

“You’re pretty bad,” Dean replied around a smile.

“You are,” Sarah agreed.

Sam pouted at them but stabbed a piece of ham with his fork. “Okay, I’m not  _ great _ . But I don’t burn  _ everything _ .”

“You’re right. You can make a mean bowl of cereal,” Dean said over a laugh. Sam glared at him but soon they were all laughing.

“Thanks for coming over,” Sarah said, once they’d all recovered.

“‘Course, I’m always happy to see you guys.” 

“So, is there anyone occupying your time these days?” Sam asked. 

Dean shrugged, heat already creeping up his body as his mind instantly thought about Cas, but he wasn’t quite ready to talk about his new friend just yet. “Besides Charlie, not really.” 

“How is Charlie?” Sam asked.

“She’s Charlie,” Dean replied. 

“We should have her over next time,” Sarah said. 

“Yeah, we should. It’s been ages since we’ve seen her,” Sam agreed.

“I’m sure she’d love to see you guys too.” 

“It’s settled then,” Sarah said. 

The clink of cutlery against plates was suddenly all the room was filled with as they ate, and once they’d finished, Dean glanced at his watch and sighed. 

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I’ve got to go.” 

“Yeah? You got a hot date?” Sarah asked with a wink.

Dean just barely managed to keep his blush under control. “No, I promised Charlie I’d go over some things with her about the LARPing event on Halloween.” 

“Oh, you’re doing that again?” Sam asked.

“I do it every year, you know that.” 

Sam shrugged. “Yeah, I know. Well say hi to Charlie for me.” 

“Of course.” Dean turned to Peter who got up to come give him a hug. “You take care of your Dad for me.” 

“I will.” 

“And be good for your Mom.” 

Peter nodded. “I will.” 

Dean ruffled his hair and hugged him. “See you around, kiddo.” 

He said goodbye to Sam and Sarah and then he was climbing into Baby and heading back towards his apartment where Charlie was due to show up at any minute. 

When Dean pushed his way into his apartment, he saw that Charlie was already there, sitting on his couch with her computer propped up on her knees. 

“How was your dinner?” she asked.

Dean snorted a laugh before he sat down beside her. “Good. Sam says hi. He and Sarah want to have you over for dinner at some point.” 

“Oh, I’d love to go.”

“Awesome.”

“So, I’ve got just about one hundred people coming to the event,” Charlie said, moving their topic of conversation away from dinners. “Cas is still coming, right?”

Dean nodded. “As far as I know.” 

“Sweet, because I brought the knight armor over.” 

“Really?”

“Yup. He’s going to look so good.” 

Dean tried to stop himself from imagining Cas in a suit of armor but he failed, and the image made him smile. “Yeah, I’m sure he will.” 

Charlie knocked her shoulder against his, a knowing smirk on her lips. “Maybe things will go your way on Halloween.” 

Dean pushed her away. “I’m not getting my hopes up.” 

“Oh come on, he’s totally into you too.” 

Dean’s eyes snapped to her, hope fluttering in his chest. “You think so?”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “I have eyes, it’s obvious. Do you want me to get you a daisy from Cas’ shop so you can play ‘he loves me, he loves me not’?” 

Dean snorted and shook his head. “No, shut up.” He paused, lost in thought for a moment before he looked over at Charlie. “So you’re saying I should shoot my shot?” 

“Yup.” 

“But what if you’re wrong?” Worry knotted in Dean’s stomach at the thought of ruining the careful friendship he’d built with Cas by asking him out.

“Then I’ll owe you a drink,” Charlie replied. 

“I’ll need more than one,” Dean grunted. 

“Fine, I’ll buy you a whole bar so you can drown your feelings.” 

Dean grinned at her. “That’s more like it.” 

They spent the next couple of hours going over the events Charlie had planned. There was bobbing for apples, pumpkin carving, a sword fighting competition, bowling with skulls, etc. Dean was excited, Charlie put on the best parties, and she’d even managed to hire a DJ; Halloween was Charlie's favorite holiday so she always went all out and Dean got to go along with her on the ride. 

“Everything looks great, Charlie,” Dean said as he peered over her shoulder at her spreadsheet of plans. 

“You think? I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t too much or too little; these games sound fun?”

“Yes, they sound fun,” Dean replied with a soft chuckle. “I can’t wait.”

“Then I think that about covers it,” she said as she shut her computer with a click. She stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll see you on Friday then.” 

“See you on Friday,” Dean agreed.

“Don’t forget Cas,” she said over her shoulder as she headed towards the door. 

“I won’t,” Dean replied with a shake of his head.  _ As if he could forget Cas. _

The door shut behind Charlie, and Dean yawned and he headed towards his bedroom to get some sleep. 

****

“Here, let me help,” Dean said. He moved behind Cas, who was clad in his knight armor, and began to shift the chainmail around his neck so it wouldn’t be digging into his skin. “There, is that better?”

Cas nodded. “Much, thank you.” 

Dean grinned as he handed him his helmet. “Well, there you go. What do you think?”

Cas shifted in the mirror, a soft frown on his face. “I like it.”

“Well you look great.”

“You think so?”

Dean nodded. Cas looked more than great, he looked  _ amazing _ . The blue of his eyes shone out against the gray of the armor, and the armor fit perfectly to his body, hugging him in just the right places. 

“Trust me, you look awesome.” 

Cas glanced over his shoulder at Dean, taking in his costume. Dean was dressed in a simple brown tunic and pants with brown boots and a sword hanging from his belt. “You look great too.” 

Dean blushed slightly and ducked his head as he smiled. “Thanks, Cas.” 

When he looked back up, he was caught in the trap that were Cas’ eyes. Cas was looking at him in something that resembled awe and Dean wanted nothing more than to look away, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Cas’ eyes were so beautiful, so blue, it was like staring into the sun and being unable to pull away.

“Should we get going?” Cas asked, breaking Dean out of his trance.

“Yeah, yeah we should.” 

They headed out of his apartment and climbed into Baby. Usually Dean would walk, but walking that far in their costumes wasn’t something either of them wanted to do, so they’d opted to drive. 

The park was swarming with people, all donned in costumes and carrying foam swords or plastic bows and arrows. They exited the car and began to make their way towards the crowd of people. Dean could practically feel the tension in Cas’ body and he reached out to pull him to a stop. 

“You okay?”

Cas nodded slowly. “Yes. I think so.” 

Dean could see the worry on Cas’ face and he gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Hey, just stick close to me, you’ll be fine.”

“Alright.” 

Dean grinned at him and then they entered the thrall that was Charlie’s Halloween event. 

“Dean!” Charlie’s shout made him turn and he smiled as she came up to them. “And Cas, I’m so glad you could make it.” 

“Thank you for inviting me,” Cas replied. 

Charlie grinned at him. “Of course!” 

“I see you went with the classic costume,” Dean said as he regarded her outfit. He dipped his head in a bow. “Your majesty.”

“In all my planning I forgot to actually get a costume, so I had to rely on the Queen of Moondor.” 

“She makes an excellent backup,” Dean said. 

“Why thank you handmaiden,” Charlie replied. 

“I’m not your handmaiden tonight,” Dean said as he held his chin up high. “I’m Cas’ squire.” 

“Oh, I see. My mistake.” Charlie bowed to Cas. “I wish you luck as you train this squire, he’s quite a handful.” 

“Hey!” Dean protested as he shoved playfully at her. 

Charlie leaped away from his hands and backed into the crowd. “I’ll see you guys around! I’m going to go see if I can catch me a fair maiden.”

“Good luck!” Dean called after her. He turned to Cas with a smile. “What do you say we go play a game?”

“That sounds fun,” Cas agreed.

“Awesome. How do you feel about bobbing for apples?”

“I’ve never tried it.” 

Dean slipped his hand into Cas’ before he could try to tell himself not to, and tugged him towards the apple bobbing station. He released Cas’ hand when they neared it, despite wanting to hold on, and they got in line to bob for apples. 

It turned out that Cas was actually really good at it and Dean stared in shock as he lifted apple after apple from the water. “Dude, I thought you said you’d never done this before.”

Cas wiped water from his chin as he stood up. “I haven’t. Beginners luck.”

“Yeah right,” Dean scoffed. 

“Your turn.”

“I can’t possibly follow that.”

“Give it a try.”

Dean sighed but kneeled down onto the grass and gripped the sides of the tub before taking a deep breath and plunging his head into the water. Every apple he tried to grab slipped from his mouth and he had to come up for more air. Finally, he managed to get one, and he grinned at Cas around it.

“Nothing compared to the five you got, but I’ll take one.”

“One is still impressive,” Cas replied. Dean tried not to blush at the praise, but he was pretty sure he failed miserably. 

Charlie’s voice suddenly filled the park and they turned to look at her where she was standing on a stage. “Hello everyone! Thanks for coming! I hope everyone has been enjoying their time so far! Entries for the costume contest are now open, so if you’d like to participate please go fill out a form over at the table to my right and we’ll hold the judging in about two hours. In the meantime, the sword fighting tournament will take place, so if you want to test your skills, please go fill out the form at the table to my left. Once again, thank you for coming out tonight, I can’t wait to see who comes out on top!”

Charlie hopped down from the stage and Dean turned to Cas. “I’m going to enter the sword fighting competition. You should enter the costume contest, you could win.”

Cas shook his head. “I’m alright.” 

Dean shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’ll be right back.” He headed over to the tournament table and put his name down for the sword fight competition. Cas was just where he left him and he nodded towards the large food table. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” 

“I’m a bit hungry too,” Cas replied. 

They headed over to the table and Dean loaded up a plate with pizza and chips and then they went to sit on one of the park benches. 

“So, are you enjoying yourself so far?”

Cas nodded as he took a bite of his pizza. “Yes, it’s fun. You said Charlie throws one of these every year?”

“Yup, she’s crazy like that.”

“Is everyone here from your LARP group?”

“Nah. Charlie opens this party to anyone, our LARP group is probably half of this.” 

“That’s still a lot of people.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Dean took a large mouthful of pizza and hummed over the cheesy flavor. “I still can’t believe you got five apples out of the tub,” he said, trying to keep their conversation going.

“I can’t either,” Cas replied.

“It’s pretty impressive, dude. Especially for someone who’s never been to a party before.”

Cas shrugged, unfazed. “I suppose.” 

Dean shoved the last bite of his pizza into his mouth just as Charlie climbed back onto the stage to announce who would begin the sword fighting competition. 

“Our first competitors will be Ed vs Harry!” Charlie said. 

Ed and Harry scrambled onto the stage and Charlie handed them each their swords. “You’re going down,” Harry sneered. 

Ed glared at Harry, face drawn in concentration. “I’d like to see you try.” 

Their battle was short. Harry somehow won, mostly due to the constant flailing of his sword until he hit Ed. Some guy named Corbett went next and Harry managed to beat him too, that was until some guy named Caesar took his shot and defeated him with three moves. 

Caesar held the title for a while, going through challenger after challenger, until Dean’s name was called. Dean winked at Cas and stepped up to the stage, taking the sword Charlie offered him. 

“Good luck,” Charlie said. 

“Thanks.”

Caesar was a formidable opponent, but Dean managed to beat him and Caesar left the stage after giving Dean a firm handshake. Dean twirled his sword in his hand and readied himself to meet his next competitor. 

A lot of people had signed up to participate in the competition, and Dean beat everyone that came to fight against him. Finally, Charlie announced that the last competitor, a girl named Ruby, was taking the stage and Dean turned to face her. Dean squared up against her and she smirked at him, a grin that Dean could describe as evil. 

She fought well. Dean blocked and paired her blows and she seemed determined not to give in. Eventually, Dean gained the upper hand and managed to get his last hit on her. Charlie called for the tournament to stop, announced Dean as the winner, and told him she’d get his prize to him later. 

Dean turned to see Cas waiting for him in front of the stage and he started to make his way towards him when something shoved him from behind and he stumbled forward. His heart lurched as he toppled off the edge of the stage where he landed on top of Cas. 

Charlie’s voice was distant, but Dean didn’t have to turn around to know that Ruby had been the one to push him. He was more focused on the dark haired man under him to care about what was going on behind him. 

Cas was solid under him and Dean managed to get his hands under him and push himself up a little so there was at least a little space between them. Cas’ hands were wrapped around his waist and Dean was conscious of where they rested on his hip bones. Their mouths were so close to each other that Dean would only have to lean forward the slightest to bring their lips together. 

Everything in his body told him to move, but Cas’ hands held him in place and he couldn’t bring himself to get up. Cas’ blue eyes had him pinned to the spot and Dean couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Cas’ lips, so close, so inviting. Cas’ eyes dipped downwards for a brief moment and he felt his heart stutter in his chest. 

_ Did Cas just look at his mouth? No, that couldn’t be right.  _

Dean started to move to get up, but Cas’ hands suddenly tightened around him and before Dean could do anything to stop it, Cas’ mouth was on his. It took him a second to kiss back, completely taken aback by the fact that Cas had just kissed him.

The feeling of Cas’ lips against his was even more incredible than he’d thought it would be. It was heaven. His lips were soft and his movements were hesitant but confident all the same. 

When they finally pulled apart, they just stared at each other for a moment before Dean finally managed to stand up and help Cas to his feet. 

“So that happened,” he said through a chuckle, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. 

Cas nodded, his eyes meeting Dean’s, suddenly wary. “I’m sorry.”

Dean stared at him in confusion. “Why? That was pretty fucking awesome, man.”

Cas smiled sadly. “It was. But...” Cas trailed off and Dean’s stomach flipped in worry.

Dean stepped forward, his hands sliding into Cas’, pulling him close. “Cas, I like you a lot, okay? And clearly you like me too, so what’s wrong?”

“There are things you don’t know about me, Dean.”

“So? There’s stuff you don’t know about me too.” 

Cas shook his head, blue eyes suddenly wild with fear. “I really like you too, Dean, but-” 

“So what’s the issue?”

“I’m dangerous,” Cas replied.

“Dangerous?” Dean echoed.

“If we’re together you won’t be safe.”

“Screw, safe, Cas,” Dean snapped. “I want to be with you, I want to get to know you. I’ve never really felt this way about someone before and I don’t care what kind of baggage you’re carrying.” 

“You should,” Cas said quietly. He pulled his hands from Dean’s slowly and Dean let him. “I should go.” Cas began to walk away but Dean couldn’t bear the thought of watching him go.

“No, Cas, wait,” Dean called after him, running to catch up with him. Cas slowed in his walk but didn’t stop. “Can we at least talk about this?” 

Cas sighed but finally stopped walking. “Come by my place tomorrow at noon and you can make the decision for yourself if you want to be with me.”

Dean nodded, suddenly eager. “Okay. Okay, yeah sure.” Cas smiled at him again, this time with a little more warmth to it. “Let me at least drive you home, you shouldn’t walk all that way in the dark.” 

Cas sighed but relented. “Alright.”

After Dean dropped Cas off, he sat in his car for a moment, his mind wandering with thoughts. He wondered what could possibly have Cas so worried. 

_ Was Cas in witness protection or something?  _

_ Maybe he was a fugitive on the run. _

Dean shook his head of those thoughts; Cas didn’t seem like either of those things.

With a sigh, he drove over to his parking spot and headed into his apartment; he’d just have to wait until tomorrow to see what Cas had to say. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! If you didn't read the note I left at the beginning of the chapter, please READ THIS !!!!
> 
> I come bearing some bad news. I'm going to stop doing weekly updates for a little while because I've been writing non stop for a very long time and it's started taking a toll on my health. I'm okay, so please don't worry, I just need some time to recharge so this fic can be the best it can be. I've decided to take a little break for a bit, so I'm going to take two weeks off at first and after that depending on how I'm feeling I might start posting every other week until I can start doing weekly again. If I decide to take more than two weeks off, I will post on my Tumblr, so you can head over there to get all updates regarding this fic.
> 
> (I apologize for leaving you guys on a cliffhanger, but I have to keep y'all interested in this story somehow!)


	8. Iridaceae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iridaceae- meaning, Iris: Hope 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back from my break! Thank you all for your patience. From here on out, until I get a bit more ahead of this fic, I'll be posting EVERY OTHER week. So I'll see you guys two weeks from now. In the meantime, here's a soft, sweet, chapter. Please let me know what you think and enjoy :)
> 
> I'd also like to wish Dean Winchester a very happy 42nd birthday <3

Castiel had kissed Dean. He’d  _ kissed _ Dean. 

It had been perfect. Absolutely everything Castiel had hoped it would be and more. But the second their lips had touched, something had wormed its way into his gut. He couldn’t explain it, this feeling, this sudden ‘thing’ that had washed over him, dousing the heat he’d felt coiling inside him, with a sharp ice-cold wave of fear. 

Castiel  _ couldn’t  _ be with Dean. 

Just being  _ friends  _ with him had put Dean in more danger than Castiel would ever wish on anyone. 

Before, when they’d first met, everything had been fine, allowing Dean into his life had been  _ okay _ , there was absolutely no reason why he  _ couldn’t  _ be friends (or more) with Dean. But now, now, there was Lucifer to think about. Lucifer who was out and  _ free _ and had already threatened Castiel. 

How could he have been so reckless? How could he have let himself get comfortable, let himself  _ kiss  _ Dean, when Lucifer was looming over him? Lucifer would tear Dean apart in an instant, he’d sink his claws in and never let go, he’d shred and tatter and  _ destroy _ Dean until there was nothing left. Castiel couldn’t possibly put Dean in that kind of danger, not without at least telling Dean about what could happen to him if he decided to have a relationship with Castiel. 

Even if Dean was somehow comfortable with his life being in danger just because he knew Castiel, how could he let Dean be with him when his safety would be compromised every day? Castiel would not be the cause of Dean’s pain. 

These were the thoughts that were swirling through Castiel’s mind as he made his way up the stairs towards his and Gabriel’s apartment. His brother was eating popcorn on the couch watching something that Castiel was fairly certain was a porno, but he turned to look at Castiel the second he walked in. 

“Oh dear, what’s wrong?” Gabriel asked, instantly shutting off the TV.

Castiel sighed. He didn’t want to talk about this. 

“Nothing,” he muttered.

“Nothing, huh?” Gabriel huffed as he set his popcorn aside and pulled his feet off the couch so Castiel could sit down. 

He collapsed with a sigh and set his knight helmet on the coffee table. He knew he couldn’t lie to Gabriel, he saw through everything. “I kissed Dean.” 

Gabriel smacked Castiel on the shoulder so hard that it nearly sent him off the couch. “That’s  _ great,  _ Cassie! So what’s the issue? Does he not like you back, because I find that hard to believe.” 

Castiel shook his head. “No, you were right, he does, it’s not that.” 

“Then what?” 

Castiel sighed again, this time it was long and drawn out, pushing all the air from his lungs. “I can’t be with him, Gabriel.” 

“What? Why?”

“You know why,” Castiel said sharply. 

“No, I really don’t,” Gabriel replied. 

_ So Gabriel was really going to make him say it.  _

“How can I be with Dean when Lucifer is out there? He’ll  _ kill  _ Dean if he knows it will hurt me.” 

Gabriel’s face had suddenly paled and Castiel saw understanding dawning in his eyes. “Cassie,” he began softly, Castiel hated when his brother used that tone with him. “We have no idea where Lucifer is, that letter is the only thing we have to go off of and it’s not much. Michael is working for that restraining order and-” 

“A restraining order for  _ me,  _ yes, but what difference does that make when he can go after everyone I love?”

Gabriel’s mouth clicked shut as Castiel’s point slapped him across the face. “I hadn’t thought of that,” he muttered quietly. 

“I can’t do that to Dean, Gabriel, it’s not fair to him. I can’t drag him into this.” 

Gabriel straightened up again, leveling Castiel with a soft look. “Don’t you think that’s  _ Dean’s  _ decision?”

“It is,” Castiel agreed. “He’s coming over tomorrow and I’m going to tell him about Lucifer, and then he can make his choice.” 

“You really think he’s not going to want to be with you?” Gabriel asked, doubt clung to his words. “Did your bees get in your brain, Cassie? You’re giving him the choice and he’s going to pick you.” 

Castiel tilted his head to the side, confused. “How can you be so sure?” 

“It’s just a feeling.” 

Castiel scoffed at that. “Dean has other people to think of, his brother, his nephew, his  _ family _ . They’ll all be in danger and I don’t think Dean’s the kind of person who would put them into that kind of situation.” 

“They’re already  _ in  _ that situation, Cassie. Even if you remain friends, Lucifer could still get a hold on Dean.” 

“I know,” Castiel sighed. “That’s why I’m going to try to convince Dean to get out while he still can.” 

“We don’t even know where Lucifer is, he could be whole states away, why are you troubling yourself with this?” 

“You sound like Michael,” Castiel sneered.

Gabriel recoiled as if he’d been burned. “Oh, brother you  _ wound  _ me. What an insult.” 

Castiel rolled his eyes, not feeling like taking part in his brother’s antics. “Lucifer knows where we live, Gabriel, he’s not going to stop. If he thinks for even a second that Dean means something to me, is something more than our neighbor, he’ll use that to his advantage. He’s out to hurt  _ me,  _ I won’t let him hurt anyone else in the process.” 

“You can’t protect everyone, Cassie.” 

“I can protect Dean,” Castiel retorted. 

“Maybe, but if Lucifer already knows about him, what’s the point? You have to keep living your life, and Dean has to keep living his.” 

Castiel’s thoughts spun. 

_ What if Lucifer  _ did  _ know about Dean already? What if he was already here, lurking in the shadows somewhere? What if he was watching Castiel, learning about him, about his habits and his friends, stalking his prey before allowing himself to strike? _

Worry knotted itself up in Castiel’s stomach and he suddenly felt sick. “I can’t,” he began, swallowing down the bile in his throat, “I can’t knowingly put Dean in danger.” 

Gabriel laid a soothing hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Why don't you go to bed, you’ll talk to Dean tomorrow and he’ll make his choice.” 

Castiel nodded and let Gabriel guide him to his feet. “Yeah, okay.” 

Dean would make the right choice tomorrow, Castiel was sure he would, he  _ had  _ to. As much as it pained him to think that a relationship with Dean had been so close, so attainable, that he could have it if he wanted, and that he could even forgo telling Dean about Lucifer and cover it up by saying he wasn’t thinking straight, he knew he had to let Dean go. 

_ If you love something, let it go _ . That was the saying, wasn’t it? 

A sudden thought struck him harder than any of the others. 

_ Did he  _ love  _ Dean?  _

He couldn’t.  _ Could he?  _

He was Dean’s friend; he had come to know him fairly well over the past few months. He knew Dean’s favorite songs, his favorite food, his favorite movies, he knew how much Dean cared for his car, and for his brother (whom Castiel had still not yet met), and he knew that Dean loved to cook, especially for other people. 

He liked Dean’s vibrant personality, his sarcastic and witty comments, his light humor and soft jokes. He liked the way Dean’s skin looked like it had been kissed by the sun, and the way his eyelashes framed the forest that lived in his eyes. He liked the way Dean’s lips seemed to have stolen the color from the pinkest carnation, and the way his freckles splattered his skin like raindrops caught on a leaf. 

He was drawn to Dean, like a sunflower, bending its petals towards the sun in search of its glorious rays. Dean drew him in, and now that Castiel knew how Dean’s lips felt on his he couldn’t possibly force himself to stay away. He wanted to know if the butterflies he felt in his stomach were something more than the result of physical attraction. He wanted to know if he  _ did  _ love Dean, and if he didn’t, he knew he could easily allow himself to, which was a danger in and of itself. 

No, tomorrow he had to stop himself from falling further for Dean, and he had to convince Dean not to take a risk just for him. 

****

Noon came around a lot faster than Castiel was prepared for. The knock on his door jolted him right out of his stupor and his heart immediately beat faster in his chest. 

Dean smiled awkwardly when Castiel opened the door for him. “Hey Cas.” 

Castiel nodded at him. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean looked around Castiel into the apartment. “Gabriel’s not here, is he?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, he’s at work.” 

“Okay, okay, good.” 

Castiel swallowed hard and then stepped aside, opening up the doorway for Dean to step through. “Why don’t you come in.” 

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Dean replied as he moved past Castiel into the apartment. 

Castiel shut the door and then turned back to Dean, who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. “You can sit down, you know.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Dean apologized as he sank onto the couch. 

Castiel took the chair opposite the couch and sat down with a sigh. “So-” 

“-Cas before you say anything,” Dean said at the same time. Castiel’s mouth clicked shut and Dean seemed to gather himself with a breath. “I  _ really  _ like you, Cas. You can tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, but I’m not going to change my mind.” 

“You may feel differently once you hear what I have to say,” Castiel replied. 

Dean shifted on the couch and fixed Castiel with his green gaze. “We’ll just have to see about that.” 

Castiel nodded slowly and cleared his throat. “There’s a lot to say, and I’m not quite sure how much of it I should tell.” 

“Just start at the beginning,” Dean suggested.

Castiel nodded again. “Right, yes, I can do that.” He was suddenly in desperate need of water, his mouth had gone dry and he felt like his tongue was a ten pound weight, but he took a breath and steeled himself. “My mother passed away when I was a kid and my Dad… he left us. My oldest brother, Michael, took care of us for the most part but he was hardly ever home to see what happened when he was gone; and Gabriel was too busy partying. I was always alone with Lucifer, my other brother. Lucifer…” Castiel could feel his voice beginning to shake, it always escaped his control when Lucifer’s name was in his mouth. “He hurt me.” Castiel couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes, but he heard the other man draw in a breath. Castiel swallowed down his terror, and the panic that wanted to surge through his body, and continued his story. “One night, he tried to drown me in the bathtub.” 

“Shit, Cas,” Dean said in a whisper. 

It took a lot for Castiel to keep his voice steady, but he managed it well enough. “Luckily, Michael came home at the right moment and he called 9-1-1. Lucifer was arrested and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. Not until late August, when I received a letter in the mail.” He took another steadying breath and closed his eyes for a moment to center himself. “It was a threat. He’s coming for me again. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I  _ do  _ know that whoever I so much as look at, is in danger.” 

“Cas-”

“No,” Castiel cut Dean off, his hands were shaking and he balled them into fists in his lap. “Dean, this is serious. Lucifer will hurt everyone he thinks I care for. It’s not just you I’m worried about, I worry about Sam, and your nephew, Lucifer will target them too. He’s _ dangerous _ , Dean.  _ I’m  _ dangerous. I’m sorry, I should never have even let us be friends, I should have stopped hanging out with you the second I got Lucifer’s letter.” 

Dean shook his head, eyes suddenly glassy. “No, Cas. We can figure this out, it doesn’t have to be this way.” 

“I’m doing everything on my part, Dean. Michael’s trying to secure a restraining order for me, but that’s only for  _ me _ . Lucifer has tried to kill me and has openly threatened me, but we can’t get one for you or your family without cause. And he might not even know you exist, but that’s not a safe bet.” 

“And if he does know who I am?” Dean asked. “It won’t matter if we distance ourselves from each other -which we’re  _ not  _ going to do- if you’re this afraid of him, I’m sure he could find me if he tried.” Dean stood up from the couch and moved to kneel in front of Castiel, forcing him to look into green eyes. Dean’s warm hand slipped into his and he let a tear fall from the pools of his eyes. “I told you before, I want to be with you. Lucifer or not.” 

Castiel sniffed and looked at Dean through a watery gaze. “But you’re not safe-” 

“Fuck ‘safe’, Cas!” Dean shouted, his hold on Castiel’s hands tightened. “You need someone with you through all of this, and before you say it, Gabriel doesn’t count, he’s family, you’re stuck with him. But you’re stuck with me too.” 

“Dean I can’t let you do this,” Castiel said in a shattered whisper. 

“You’re not  _ letting  _ me do anything. This is my choice. I’m choosing to be with you. Do you still want to be with me?” 

The question was in the air now, the weight of those words were so heavy that Castiel was afraid he might break under them. His heart had one answer, while his mind had another. 

His heart won out as he surged forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s. Dean didn’t waste a second returning the kiss, letting their lips explore each other’s, allowing themselves to fall into one another. Castiel slid from his chair to join Dean on the floor and threaded his fingers through Dean’s hair, pulling him closer. 

When they broke apart, Dean was staring at him with bright eyes, hope sparkling in their depths.

“Of course, I do,” Castiel replied hoarsely. 

“Then I don’t see a problem,” Dean said. 

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” 

Dean’s thumb brushed against Castiel’s cheek, wiping away a tear that lingered there. “Yes, I’m sure.” 

****

“What’s this one?” Dean asked.

Castiel looked up from where he’d been counting the money in the register. “Oh, that’s an iris.” 

Dean had come to the shop a few minutes before closing to pick Castiel up (they were going on their first official date) and while Castiel was busy managing everything before leaving, Dean had been perusing the flowers. 

“It’s beautiful,” Dean said, his fingers gently brushing against the purple-blue petals. 

“Depending on the color, the flower means different things. The one you’re holding symbolizes hope.” 

Dean cracked a smile at that. “I love it.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of buying it,” Castiel said with a chuckle.

Dean shook his head. “No. I just think it’s cool how much you know about flowers, and I like to hear you talk about them.” 

Castiel fought a blush that wanted to rise to his cheeks and he ducked his head to hide it, returning to counting the money. “I love telling you about them,” he replied. Dean smiled and then continued to look at the flowers while Castiel finished up with the cash register. “Alright, I think I’m done here.” 

“Awesome,” Dean grinned. 

Castiel shouldered his bag and locked the cash register, before joining Dean in the aisles of his shop. Dean beamed at him and let their hands slide together. “Where are you taking me?” he asked as they made their way to the door. 

“You’ll see,” Dean replied. 

Castiel rolled his eyes but let Dean tug him out of the shop where the passenger side door of the Impala was opened for him. “Thank you, that’s very gentlemanly of you,” Castiel said as he slid into the car. 

“It’s my pleasure.” 

When Dean got in and let the car come to life with a roar, he flashed Castiel one more grin before pulling out onto the road. 

Dean turned onto the highway and Castiel fixed him with a wondrous look. “We’re going into the city?” 

“Yup,” Dean replied. 

“Dean, I’m hardly dressed for a fancy restaurant.” 

“Don’t worry, where we’re going isn’t exactly  _ in  _ the city, more the outskirts, and it’s the farthest thing from fancy. I know the owner.”

“Oh I see, well color me curious.” Dean only smirked and Castiel was left to wonder where they were going. 

When Dean pulled down a dirt road right before the entrance to the city, Castiel sat up in his seat, letting his eyes fall over the trees that bordered the side of the road. The trees eventually dispersed and an unmarked parking lot came into view, followed by a restaurant labeled  _ Harvelle’s Roadhouse _ . 

Dean pulled into an empty space and then stepped out of the car. Castiel followed him and Dean gestured up at the sign on top of the Roadhouse. “Welcome, to Harvelle’s Roadhouse. You’re about to have the best burger you’ve ever tasted.” 

Dean’s hand fell into Castiel’s and all but tugged him into the restaurant. “Dean!” A brown-haired woman said as she looked up from behind the bar counter and came over to greet them. 

“Hey Ellen,” Dean replied, a grin splitting his face open. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Ellen said as she pulled him into a hug. 

“You too.” 

Ellen turned her sharp gaze to Castiel and he felt a strange urge to take a step away from her, but he forced himself to stay rooted to the spot. 

“And you must be Castiel,” Ellen observed as she held out her hand, which Castiel shook politely. 

“Yes, it’s good to meet you,” Castiel replied. 

Ellen nodded at him and then clapped her hands together. “Well, let’s get you boys seated. Jo!” she shouted over her shoulder. 

A young blond woman came over to them and then nearly tackled Dean in a hug. “Dean!” she exclaimed. “It’s been too long, how are you?” 

Dean chuckled and peeled himself away from Jo’s arms. “I’m good, how about you?”

Jo shrugged, eyes glittering. “I’m great.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” 

“Jo,” Ellen interrupted, “I called you over to seat them, not make small talk.” 

“Right, sorry,” Jo apologized. “Follow me.” Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand and he followed Dean and Jo over to their table. “Can I start you off with some drinks?”

“Water is fine,” Castiel replied. 

“I’m driving, so I’ll have to say water as well.” 

Jo tutted at them. “So boring.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll have a coke.” 

Jo shook her head with a sigh. “I suppose that’s slightly more respectable. I’ll be back with your drinks soon.” 

With that, she spun on her heel and walked away, long blond hair swishing behind her. “Sorry about her,” Dean said, a slight flush to his cheeks.

Castiel smiled warmly at him. “No need to apologize.” 

Dean cleared his throat and fumbled with his menu. “So, what do you think of this place so far?”

“I like it,” Castiel replied. 

Dean grinned. “Awesome.” 

“Do you come here often?” Castiel asked, curious.

Dean raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk playing with his lips. “Is that a pick up line, Cas? Because you’ve already got me.” 

Castiel let out a soft chuckle. “That wasn’t my intention, no, I’m genuinely curious.” 

Dean shrugged, eyes falling back down to his menu. “Not as much as I used to. When I was a teenager I picked up a couple of shifts here sometimes, in between taking freelance photography jobs while I tried to kickstart my career. Jo kind of became a little sister to me and Ellen was like a second mom.” 

Castiel smiled thoughtfully as he folded his menu, having decided on what he wanted. “I could tell that you clearly have a loving relationship with them.” 

“They’re kind of awesome,” Dean replied, a boyish grin on his face.

Jo returned a moment later with their drinks and she fixed them both with smiles. “Do you know what you want?” 

“Bacon cheeseburger for me,” Dean replied.

“No surprise there,” Jo muttered, but she was still smiling. 

“I’ll just have the regular cheeseburger,” Castiel answered.

“Great, I’ll get those started for you.”

“Thanks, Jo.” 

Once Jo had left again, Dean turned to Castiel. “So,”

“So,” Castiel replied.

Dean stared at him for a moment and then blinked out of his stupor. “Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re actually on a date with me.”

Castiel frowned in confusion. “How is that unbelievable to you?”

Dean balked slightly, taking a sip of his coca cola. “Well you’re…  _ you _ , and I’m  _ me _ .” 

“I’m still not following,” Castiel replied. Dean blushed and understanding suddenly dawned on Castiel. “You think you’re not good enough for me?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Dean shrugged, clearly still embarrassed. “I guess.” 

Castiel sighed and reached across the table to take Dean’s hand in his own. “Dean,” he said gently, giving his hand a squeeze, “there is no one, I’d rather be here with.” 

“You mean that?” Dean asked, eyes wide.

“Of course I do.” 

“I just thought, I mean, a guy like me… you could do so much better.” 

Castiel felt a pang of hurt punch him in the gut.  _ Did Dean really think so low of himself?  _ “A guy like you?” he echoed.

Dean’s blush grew and he licked his lips, eyes diverted to his glass in front of him, watching the condensation slide down the side of his fizzing drink. “I’m not exactly a catch, Cas.” 

Castiel scoffed at that which caused Dean to finally raise his head and meet his eyes. “I don’t think that’s true and I certainly don’t think I could have done ‘better’.” Dean snorted in disbelief and Castiel felt his heart break inside his chest. Dean didn’t deserve to think he was anything less than perfect. “When you meet someone,” Castiel continued, “you don’t know what they’re going to bring into your life, but when I met you…” he paused to let the memory of his first meeting with Dean wash over him. “I knew that you would bring nothing but kindness and joy. And you have, Dean. You’ve made me happier than I thought was possible. So please, do not think for a second that you’re not worth anything.” 

Dean was staring at Castiel, eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Gee Cas, you sure know how to make a guy cry on the first date.” 

“That wasn’t my intention, I apologize,” Castiel replied softly as he let his thumb move against the back of Dean’s hand. 

Dean sniffed and swiped at his eyes with the hand Castiel wasn’t holding. “Sorry I’m such a mess.” 

Castiel shook his head. “You are nothing of the sort.” 

“Why are you so nice to me, Cas?” Dean asked, green eyes searching. 

Castiel tilted his head, confusion sparking inside him. “Because you deserve it.”

Something seemed to break inside of Dean, but not in the shattered kind of way that means heartbreak and despair, no, in the way of something that has broken free, like a caged bird being released back into the wild; Dean breaks in staggered disbelief as if he never thought he would hear those words.

“T-thanks, Cas,” Dean stammered.

Castiel squeezed his hand one more time before carefully withdrawing himself. “You’re not told that enough, are you,” Castiel observed, and it’s not a question, it’s a statement. Dean shrunk back into his seat, picking up his drink.

“I’ve never… no one’s ever…” Dean tried to begin. He shook his head helplessly and sighed, finally deciding on one word. “No.”

“I thought not,” Castiel replied. “Well you’ll be hearing it a lot more from me.” 

Dean sipped at his drink just as Jo came back carrying their order. “Burgers all around,” she said as she set them down. 

“Thank you,” Castiel said. 

“Yeah, thanks, Jo.”

“You’re welcome,” Jo replied. “Enjoy.”

Castiel looked over at Dean to see that Dean was already looking at him. “Go ahead,” Dean said with a nod at Castiel’s burger.

Castiel picked up the burger and let out a hum as the bun cracked satisfactorily under his teeth. “That’s good.” He took another bite. “Really good.” 

“I know,” Dean replied as he too raised his burger to his mouth. 

“Thank you for this,” Castiel said as he picked up a french fry and dipped it in ketchup.

Dean beamed at him. “You’re welcome.”

When they’d both finished their meals, Jo came over to take their plates and set down the dessert menus. “I don’t think I could eat another bite,” Castiel said through a groan.

“I’m gonna get some pie.”

“He’s a pie junkie,” Jo said as she came back to their table.

“Shut up,” Dean grumbled, but he was concealing a smile. 

“What’ll it be today?” Jo asked.

“Apple,” Dean replied. 

“Coming right up.” 

“Can we get the check when you come back?” Castiel asked.

“You got it.” 

“So you like pie?” Castiel commented as Jo walked away.

“Love it.” 

“Is apple your favorite?”

Dean shook his head. “Cherry, but Ellen’s apple pie is the best.” 

“It is very good,” Jo agreed as she returned with the pie and the check.

Castiel pulled the check over but Dean reached over to stop him. “Hey, no, I’m paying.”

“Dean-” Castiel began to argue.

“I’m paying, Cas, that’s the end of it. I took  _ you  _ on a date, not the other way around.”

Castiel sighed, resigned. “Alright, but I’m paying next time.” 

“Fine.” 

Dean really did have an affinity for pie. Castiel watched, amused, as he shoved forkful after forkful into his mouth, finishing off the pie in less than five bites. He’d be lying if he didn’t say he found it adorable. 

Dean slipped his credit card into the black book that held their check and Jo came by the go take care of their transaction. 

Dean’s green eyes suddenly found Castiel’s. “So, you really did like it- this, right?”

Castiel smiled and reached for his hand. “Yes, I did.” 

“Good, me too.” 

Once Dean’s credit card returned, they bid goodbye to Ellen and Jo, and Dean led him by the hand back to the Impala. A light drizzle had started while they’d been inside but neither of them cared, instead the gap between them closed and their lips met. 

Dean tasted like his pie and his lips were soft and warm. Castiel never wanted to stop kissing him, but eventually they pulled apart, sheepish grins on their faces. 

“I should get you home,” Dean said softly.

Castiel nodded, his lips upturned in a smile. “Yeah.”


	9. Nigella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nigella- meaning, Love in the mist: a bond between two people.

“Do you want honey in your tea?” Dean asked. 

Cas looked up from the couch where he was waiting for Dean to join him. “Yes, please.” 

“It’s your own, you know,” Dean said as he dipped a spoon into the golden substance. Cas smiled it at him and Dean felt his insides warm. “I’m actually not that big of a honey fan,” he continued as he began to stir Cas’ tea, “but there’s something about yours that’s… mmm,” he hummed. 

Cas laughed softly. “That’s probably because it’s straight from the honeycomb.” 

“Are you gonna show me how you collect honey sometime?” Dean asked as he came over with Cas’ tea and his own cup of coffee. 

“If that’s something you’d be interested in,” Cas replied, taking the tea from Dean’s hands. 

“Sure I’m interested,” Dean grinned as he leaned in to plant a kiss on Cas’ lips. “I still can’t believe I can do that now,” he said when they pulled apart. 

“Do what?” Cas asked, his head tilting to the side in that adorable way of his. 

“Kiss you,” Dean replied. 

“Oh,” Cas smiled softly and pulled Dean in for another kiss. “I can’t believe it either.” 

“Alright, what are we watching?” Dean asked as he let his arm fall around Cas’ shoulders. 

“I thought you were picking.” 

“Oh, right.” Dean skimmed through the movie options and landed on  _ Back to the Future. _ “You good with this?”

“I’m good with whatever,” Cas replied. 

“Awesome,” Dean grinned.

Date nights with Cas had easily become the things Dean looked forward to the most. Wherever they were, whether it was in a bar getting drunk off their asses, or walking through the park and trying to stay warm, or Dean’s personal favorite, movie nights in either of their apartments with Cas curled around a mug of tea and Dean wrapped around Cas, Dean enjoyed every minute of it and he never wanted it to end.

****

November slipped by quickly and soon Thanksgiving was just around the corner. 

“You got any plans?” Dean asked one morning as he drove Cas to work. 

“No. Gabriel is spending the holiday with his girlfriend, Kali.” 

“And what, you’re not invited?” Dean asked, something akin to anger twisted in his gut when he thought about Cas spending Thanksgiving alone. 

“I was invited,” Cas said, “but I turned down the invitation as it was clearly just a formality.” 

“Well, my Mom told me to invite you to our dinner, if you wanted to join.” 

Cas looked over at him with big round eyes. “Really?” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah.” 

“So, your family… knows about us?” Cas asked. 

Dean felt his ears heat. “Uh, no, actually.” 

“Oh,” Cas said, somewhat put out. 

“But I’m going to tell them.” 

Cas seemed to brighten at that. “Okay.” 

“But, uh,” Dean fumbled for words as he pulled over to park outside the front door of  _ Mel Flora _ . “My Dad, he’s not to great with the gay stuff.” 

“You’ve mentioned that before.” 

“Yeah, so, uh, you really don’t have to come, he might be rude to you, and it might be awkward.” 

Cas placed a calming hand on Dean’s shoulder and then let his other hand card through the short hairs at the back of Dean’s neck. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.” 

Dean blinked hopefully at his boyfriend and smiled shyly. “I do want you there, but-” 

Cas interrupted him with a kiss and Dean was briefly lost in the feeling of his lips. “Then I’ll be there,” Cas said when they pulled apart. Cas pushed open the door and Dean watched him go, wishing he would stay. 

Dean was about to pull away from the shop when his phone rang and he glanced over to see that it was Sam calling. 

“Hey, Sammy.” 

“Hey,” Sam replied. 

“What’s up?” 

“I was going to wait until Thanksgiving to tell you this, but I figured you could help do some damage control if you knew beforehand.” 

“What could be that bad?” Dean asked. 

“It’s not bad, trust me,” Sam chuckled softly, there was a happy edge to his tone. “But Mom’s going to freak out and Dad’s not going to be able to calm her down, but you’ve always been able to so-” 

“Sammy, what are you trying to tell me?” 

“Oh right, sorry,” Sam laughed. “Sarah’s pregnant.” 

Dean’s mouth fell open and it took him a moment to regain function of his jaw, but when he did a grin split across his face. “That’s awesome, Sammy, I’m so happy for you.” 

“Thanks, Dean.” 

“You know, I’ve actually been meaning to tell you something too.” 

“Yeah?” 

Dean licked his lips in an attempt to wet his dry mouth. “Yeah, uh, I’m bringing someone to Thanksgiving.” 

“Do you finally have a girlfriend?” 

“Try again,” Dean said. 

“You’ve got a  _ boyfriend _ ?” Sam asked, incredulous. 

‘What’s so surprising about that?” Dean pouted. 

“Nothing, just, you hardly have any luck on that side of things, so I guess I thought you’d maybe given up or something.” 

“Well, I haven’t, and his name is Cas, by the way. I think you’ll like him,” Dean said, he couldn’t keep the smile from his voice. 

“I’m sure I will.” 

“Well, congrats on the new baby.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“I’ll talk to you later, I actually have to call Mom and tell her Cas is coming.” 

“Okay, bye.” 

Dean hung up and then called his Mom, she answered on the first ring. 

“Dean, hi,” she greeted him. 

“Hey Mom.” 

“What’s up sweetie?” 

“Do you remember me telling you about my friend Cas?” 

“Yes.” 

“You said he could come to Thanksgiving, is that offer still on the table?” 

“Of course,” she answered warmly. “I can’t wait to meet him.” Dean paused for a moment, wondering if he should tell her that Cas wasn’t just a friend anymore. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” 

“Uh, well,” Dean cleared his throat, “Cas… he’s kind of…  _ more _ than a friend now.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah we’ve been dating for a few weeks,” Dean replied. 

“That’s wonderful, Dean. Really, I’m so happy for you.”

Dean blushed at his mother’s praise. “Thanks, but uh, could you maybe…  _ not  _ tell Dad. Not yet, anyway.” 

Mary sighed on the other end of the phone. “Okay, I won’t.” 

“You know how he’ll react,” Dean said, attempting to defend himself. 

“He’s really trying to change,” Mary replied quietly. 

“You and I both know he never will.” 

“Give him a chance to prove it to you.” 

“I’ll tell him about me and Cas on Thanksgiving, I’m not going to hide it from him, but I’m not giving him a chance to disapprove until I’m already at the house.” 

“Okay. So, I’ll see you and Cas on Thanksgiving then?” 

“Yeah, see you then.” 

****

“You’re sure you want to come?” Dean asked as he stood just inside the threshold of Cas’ apartment, watching as he put on his jacket. 

“It’ll be better than sitting here alone,” Cas replied.

“Yeah but my Dad-” 

“Dean,” Cas said softly, “stop worrying.” 

“Sorry,” Dean muttered as his eyes flicked to Cas’. 

Cas smiled warmly and Dean felt himself melt into those blue eyes. Cas leaned forward and Dean met him halfway, their lips colliding in a soft kiss. “We’ll be late,” Cas murmured against his mouth. 

“They can miss us for a few minutes,” Dean hummed as he went in for another kiss. 

Cas smiled into the kiss and then tugged Dean towards the door. “Come on.” 

Dean sighed but let Cas pull him outside. 

“Last chance to back out,” Dean said as he paused by the passenger side door. 

“I’m coming, and that’s that.” 

“Okay,” Dean replied as he opened the door for Cas. Once Cas was settled inside, he made his way to the driver’s seat and then sent them off to the Winchester Family Home. 

When they arrived, Dean hesitated in turning off the car. The loud hum of the engine rang in his ears and he let the sound wash over him, calming the stutter of his heart. 

“Dean,” Cas said softly, a hand on Dean’s shoulder. 

“I’m fine,” Dean replied before Cas could ask. “I just… I need a second.” 

“Of course.” 

Dean hadn’t brought a boyfriend to the Winchester Home since the tenth grade, and as he sat, ridgid, in the driveway with his first real boyfriend since then, ready to introduce him to his parents, he couldn’t help but be reminded of what happened the last time he had been in this position. 

The second his boyfriend had left, a look of pure disgust and rage had taken over his father’s face. He remembered the sting of a fist as knuckles dug into his cheek followed by the order to leave the house and not come back, he remembered calling Benny from the side of the road, where he’d stopped to cry, and he remembered laying in Benny’s guest room, staring up at the decorated ceiling, a plate of food untouched on the bedside table, and tears running from his eyes. 

Dean shuddered at the memory, squeezing his eyes shut against it. 

This time was different. This time he was an adult, an adult who made his own money, had his own apartment, and didn’t need to worry about being kicked out. He didn’t need his father’s approval anymore. 

He let his lungs fill with air in a deep breath and then he opened his eyes and looked over at Cas with a smile. “Okay, let’s go in.”

Dean reached into the backseat where he’d carefully placed the apple pie he’d made yesterday, and then they headed up the walkway. It always felt weird ringing the doorbell of his childhood home, his Mom had told him that he could always just walk right in, but with Cas here, he thought it only appropriate to appear as a guest. 

“Dean,” his mother smiled as she opened the door. 

“Hey Mom,” he returned her smile, if a little tersely. 

“And you must be Cas.” 

“Yes, hello,” Cas said as he extended his hand. 

Awkward handshake out of the way, Mary stepped aside to let them in. “You can set the pie down in the kitchen.” 

“Awesome.” 

“Sam and Sarah should be here soon, and the turkey is in the oven.” 

“Where’s Dad?” Dean found himself asking, hardly able to control the shake of his voice. 

“He’s in the garage, said he wanted to fix something on the car. I don’t know why it couldn’t have waited until tomorrow, it’s not like we’re going anywhere.” 

“Right,” Dean muttered as he made his way to the kitchen, Cas trailing behind him. “So, uh, I’m gonna go talk to him. You gonna be okay if I leave you here with my Mom?” 

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” Cas replied. 

“Okay,” Dean said as he stole a quick kiss and then headed towards the garage door. 

He pushed it open softly, heart pounding, and the smell of grease and oil hit his nose. “Mary, I told you I’d be in in a minute.” 

“Uh, Dad, it’s me,” Dean said cautiously. 

John’s head popped out from behind the hood of the car and he fixed Dean with a gaze that Dean couldn’t read. “Oh. Hey Dean.” 

“What’s wrong with the car?” Dean asked. He knew he was stalling but he couldn’t help it. 

“Just needed an oil change and I think I’m going to need to order a new battery.” 

“Right,” Dean nodded, scuffing his feet on the garage floor. 

“How have you been, son?” John asked as he wiped his hands on a rag. 

“Alright, yeah,” Dean answered. 

“Good.” 

Dean took a small step towards his father, trying to get a grip on his courage. “So, uh, I brought someone with me.” 

“Mary told me you were bringing a friend.” 

“Yeah, well, not exactly.” 

“So you’ve got a girlfriend then?” John asked, suddenly intrigued. 

Dean’s heart sank and he felt his jaw stiffen. “No, Dad. Not a girlfriend.” A muscle twitched in John’s neck and Dean felt anger blurring the edges of his vision. He forced his feet to move and bring him within arms reach of his father. “His name is Cas, and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” John opened his mouth to say something but Dean cut him off. “I don’t care what you think Dad, you can think whatever you want to think about me, but keep your opinions to yourself. I  _ love  _ him, Dad, and if you don’t want me to be happy, that’s not my problem. It’s my life, and I’ll do what I fucking want with whoever I fucking want.” Not waiting for a response, he turned around and headed back towards the door, but he paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder at his father. “And you better fucking be nice to him,” he spat before entering the house. 

Sam and Sarah had arrived and Cas was in the middle of talking to Sam. “Uncle Dean!” Peter shouted as he sprinted across the room to collide with Dean’s legs. 

“Hey there kiddo,” Dean chuckled as he ruffled Peter’s hair. 

“Dean, hi,” Sarah said as she came over to join her son. 

“Hey, Sarah.” 

“How are things?” 

“Not so bad, yeah. You met Cas?” 

Sarah smiled. “I did. He seems very nice.” 

Dean grinned as he looked over at his boyfriend, still engaged in conversation with Sam. “He’s awesome.”

“Is Cas gonna be my new Uncle?” Peter asked. 

Dean turned his attention to him and laughed softly. “Maybe. We’ll have to wait and see what happens.” 

“Well I like him,” Peter declared. 

“Me too,” Dean replied with a smile. 

Cas looked over at Dean at that moment and Dean excused himself and headed over to him. “Hello, Dean,” Cas greeted him. 

“I see you’re getting to know my brother,” Dean said. 

“Yes,” Cas confirmed. 

“Cas was telling me about his flower shop,” Sam replied. 

“You should stop by sometime,” Cas offered. 

“I’d love to.” 

Dean heaved a sigh, but there was no malice in it. “I should’ve known my geek brother and my nerd boyfriend would hit it off.” Sam rolled his eyes and Cas frowned at him. “It’s a compliment, babe,” he said as he kissed his temple. “I’m gonna go see if Mom needs help with anything.” 

“I already tried that,” Sam said. “She’s hellbent on doing everything herself.” 

“Grandpa!” 

Peter’s yell made Dean turn to see that John had returned from the garage. “Hey there,” John chuckled as he bent down to Peter’s height and let the seven year old give him a hug. John’s eyes locked onto Dean’s and never left even when he pulled away and stood up. 

Dean’s arm slid around Cas’ waist and pulled him close as John made his way over to them. 

“So you’re Cas,” John said stiffly when he stopped in front of them. 

Cas raised his chin and met John’s eyes, unwavering. “Yes.” 

Dean’s grip on Cas’ waist tightened. The tension in the air was so charged Dean was sure letting out a single breath would set off an explosion. 

“And you’re Dean’s…” John seemed to choke, unable to continue, as if the word he was meant to say was poisoned. 

“Boyfriend,” Cas replied evenly. 

“Right.”

“Dinner’s ready!” Mary shouted from the kitchen, breaking up the awkward moment. 

“Good, I’m starving,” Dean said as he pulled Cas towards the dining table. 

He made sure to take the seat beside his father to spare Cas from that suffering. Sam sat across from Dean and Sarah across from Cas while Peter sat smushed in between his parents. 

Mary placed the turkey in the center of the table alongside the other side dishes and then everyone began to serve themselves. Dean made sure Cas’ plate was full before he even began to put things on his. 

“I don’t like squash,” Peter complained as Sarah scooped a spoonful onto his plate. 

“You should try it again, your opinion may have changed since the last time you tried it,” Sarah replied. 

“Listen to your mother,” Sam said.

Dean wrinkled his nose and looked over at Peter. “I’m with you buddy, I’ve never liked squash.” 

Peter giggled. “See, Uncle Dean doesn’t eat things he doesn’t like, why do I have to?” 

Sam shot Dean one of his signature bitch faces. “What Dean does isn’t your concern. You’ll eat your vegetables, squash and all.” Peter pouted and poked at the orange squash. He mumbled something Dean didn’t catch. 

“Well everyone, dig in,” Mary said with a smile. 

Dean shoved a healthy forkful of turkey into his mouth as everyone began to eat. “This is really good, Mom,” Dean mumbled around his food. 

Mary beamed. “Thank you.” 

“It’s very wonderful, Mrs. Winchester,” Cas said. 

“Oh call me Mary, please.” 

“Mary,” Cas amended himself. 

“So, uh,” Sam said as he set his fork down and looked from Mary to John. “Sarah and I have some news.” 

“Oh?” Mary asked. 

Sarah smiled. “I’m expecting.” 

“That’s wonderful!” Mary exclaimed. “Oh, congratulations.” 

“Thank you,” Sarah replied. 

“She’s due in July,” Sam said. 

Dean glanced over at his father, but John was sitting quietly, expression unreadable. 

“Do you know if it’s a girl or a boy yet?” Mary asked. “Have you made up the nursery yet? Do you need any help-” 

“Mom,” Sam cut in, a smile in his eyes, “Sarah’s only a few weeks along, and we’re finding out the gender at her next appointment.” 

Mary didn’t seem to hear him. “Oh there’s so much to do. I’ll start sewing some clothes tomorrow, and you’ll need some toys,” she rattled on. 

Dean heaved a sigh. “Mom,” he said sharply. She blinked up at him in surprise. “Stop worrying, there’s time to do everything.” 

“Right, you’re right,” she said as she picked her fork back up to return to her meal. 

The meal continued and Dean felt the weight of John’s unspoken words fall heavy in the air. After a few minutes had passed, Dean couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“You got something to say, Dad?” he asked, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice. “Sam’s just made a big announcement and you’ve got nothing to say?”

John glanced over at Dean, malice in his gaze. “Of course I’m happy for Sam.” 

“You got a funny way of showing it,” Dean snapped. 

“Dean,” Sam broke in, “it’s fine.” 

“No, it’s not,” Dean retorted, fixing his eyes on John. “Whatever you want to say, say it.” 

A muscle in John’s jaw twitched and his eyes hardened but he didn’t say a word. Dean reached over and took Cas’ hand in his own and Cas blinked at him, slightly bewildered. 

“This is about me and Cas, isn’t it?” John stayed silent, and Dean found himself slightly impressed that his father was refraining from saying the things that clearly wanted to push past his lips. 

“Dean,” Cas said softly, “don’t start a fight.” 

Dean hardly heard him, he was too busy glaring at his father. “No, really, _ Dad _ , I want to know why it’s so hard for you to accept that I’m  _ queer _ .” John flinched at the word and Dean smirked victoriously. 

“Dean,” Sam said warningly. 

“I’m going to take Peter to get cleaned up,” Sarah said as she pushed her chair back and helped Peter from his. 

With just the Winchesters and Cas left, John seemed to break. “Why can’t you just be more like your brother?” he hissed. 

Dean scoffed. “Be more like Sam? The golden child of the family, the one you’ve always been proud of, who’s successful, married with a kid and another on the way? You want me to be more like him? Well tough, I’m  _ not _ , and I never will be. Stop asking me to pretend I’m something I’m not. I told you in the garage that it’s my life. I’m in love with Cas. Why is that a bad thing?” 

“Because it’s  _ wrong _ !” John roared. 

“So love is wrong?” Dean asked. 

“This kind of love is,” John replied as he gestured between Dean and Cas.

“Right, because we’re men,” Dean stated, “and so he can’t have my children. That’s what you really want from me, isn’t it? You want me to marry a woman so she can have kids and I can have a family, just like Sam. There are other ways to have a family.” 

“Dean, sweetie-” Mary tried to break in softly, but Dean talked over her. 

“-I’m sick of your bullshit! Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why can’t you accept that I’m not straight!? I’m sorry it was drilled into your head that being with the same sex is wrong, but it’s  _ not _ . I’m  _ happy,  _ Dad, the happiest I’ve been in a long time, maybe ever.” Dean stood up abruptly, still holding Cas’ hand. “But I guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Come on, Cas. We’re leaving.” 

Dean stopped at the door so they could get their coats which gave Mary enough time to catch up to them. “Dean, please come back to the table, your father is just-” 

“Stop making excuses for him!” Dean spat. “He’s not going to change, he’s  _ never  _ going to change. I’m not going to stay here and be insulted.” 

“You’re the one that turned this into an argument,” Mary pointed out. 

“He was itching for one anyway, I just sped up the inevitable,” Dean retorted. 

“Please stay,” Mary pleaded as she reached out a hand to touch Dean’s arm. 

Dean shook his head. “No.” 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Winchester- Mary,” Cas said as Dean shrugged on his coat. “It’s probably best if we go.” 

“If you must,” Mary replied with a heavy sigh. 

“Dean.” Sam’s voice made Dean turn. “I’m sorry.” 

“For what?”  _ For being the poster boy of the family? For being so perfect that I’m held to the standard you set? For being allowed to love someone without being ridiculed for it? _

“I’m just sorry,” Sam said.

Dean forced himself to take a deep breath, none of this was Sam’s fault. “I’m sorry too.” 

“Don’t be,” Sam replied. 

“You’re leaving?” Sarah asked as she appeared with Peter at her side. 

“Why?” Peter asked. 

“Cas and I just have to go,” Dean replied as he bent down to say goodbye to his nephew. “But you take care of your Mom and Dad, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Dean ruffled his hair and then stood up to give Sarah a hug. He turned to Sam next and then to his Mom. “You’re sure you won’t stay?” Mary asked. 

“I can’t stay and watch Dad say things like that in front of Cas,” Dean replied in a whisper, so Cas couldn’t hear. 

“I understand.” 

“Come on, Cas,” Dean said when he pulled away from his Mom.

Once inside the Impala, Dean deflated.

“Are you okay?” Cas asked. 

Dean sighed. “I’ll be fine.” 

Cas rubbed a hand across Dean’s shoulders and Dean melted into the touch. “Why did you start that argument?” he asked quietly. 

“Like I told my Mom, it would have happened one way or another.” Dean could feel the tears starting to prick at his eyes and he blinked them away. “I’m just-” his voice broke. “I’m so fucking tired, Cas. I’m tired of seeing the resentment and disgust in my Dad’s eyes when he looks at me. We used to get along, and now he can barely stand to be in the same room as me.” 

“Some people just aren’t used to others having different opinions from them.” 

“But it’s not like he’s wrong,” Dean said miserably. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Sam’s out there making a difference, with a wife and 2.5 kids. And look at me. I don’t have a steady job, I’m barely paying my rent. I’m a failure, Cas.” 

“You’re not,” Cas replied sternly. “You make beautiful pictures, you’re doing what you love, and so is Sam. You don’t need to compare yourself to him. You’re living your  _ own  _ life, not Sam’s. You can do with that life what you want.” 

“I know,” Dean muttered. “But... when I was a kid, all I wanted to do was make my parents proud, and ever since my Dad found out I liked men, he never has been.” 

“Is your father’s approval necessary for you to have a happy life?” Cas asked. 

Dean shook his head. “No, of course not. And I’ve given him a piece of my mind about what I think about him and his lack of approval, more than once, I don’t  _ need  _ it, Cas. But, is it so wrong of me to  _ want  _ it?” 

“Of course not,” Cas replied easily as he rubbed at Dean’s back. Dean let himself fall into Cas’ embrace and Cas held him tightly, pressing soft kisses to his hairline. 

When Dean finally sat up, Cas was looking at him with a curious expression. “What?” 

“I was just thinking about something you said inside.” Dean waited for Cas to continue. The look in the florist’s eyes was soft and Dean suddenly felt the anger towards his father disappear. “You said you were in love with me, did you mean that?” 

Dean started in surprise, but he recovered quickly. “Yeah, Cas. I meant it.” 

Cas beamed at him and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. “I’m in love with you too.” 

Dean’s heart fluttered in happiness. “Really?” 

“Really.” 

“What do you say we go have our own Thanksgiving dinner?” Dean asked as he started the car. 

“I’d say, it’s a date.” 

Dean chuckled and reached for Cas’ hand as he pulled out of the driveway. Cas succeeded in helping Dean forget all about the fight with his Dad, and when Cas ended up falling asleep on the couch, in Dean’s arms, he pressed himself tighter against his boyfriend and let himself drift off. 

Nothing was going to stop Dean from being with Cas, especially not his homophobic father. Cas was perfect, and he was everything Dean had dreamed of. Somehow, Dean knew that they were bonded together by some invisible force. He wasn’t quite sure if he believed in soulmates, but he knew that whenever Cas was beside him, everything felt right, like nothing could go wrong. 


	10. Anemone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anemone- meaning, wild flower: ill omens, protection

“It’s happening, little brother!” Gabriel shouted as he burst into the apartment. 

Castiel exchanged a glance with Dean, who currently had an arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Well don’t leave us in suspense,” Dean said. 

“I proposed to Kali,” Gabriel replied as he sank against the door with a sigh. 

“And she said yes?” Castiel asked.

“Of course she said yes!”

Dean huffed out a chuckle. “Man, I feel bad for this chick already.”

“Kali and I are in  _ love _ ,” Gabriel said as he got his feet under him and paced towards Castiel and Dean. 

“Whatever you say,” Dean replied. 

Castiel elbowed his boyfriend in the ribs. “I’m happy for you, Gabriel.” 

“Thank you,” Gabriel smiled. “Can I count on you to deal with the flowers for the wedding?”

“Of course.” 

Gabriel turned his gaze to Dean. “And you for pictures?” 

“You mean if she doesn’t back out before the wedding date?” 

“Dean,” Castiel warned. 

“Sorry, sorry. Yes, I’ll do the pictures.” 

“Great, thank you.” 

Castiel turned to watch Gabriel skip down the hallway to his room before he turned back to Dean, who instantly started laughing. Castiel couldn’t help but join in. 

“He’s smitten,” Castiel said. 

“Clearly.” Dean glanced at his watch and sighed. “It’s late, I should probably go.” 

“I wish you’d stay,” Castiel said as he pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips. 

Dean groaned. “I wish I could stay too, but I’ve got a job in the morning.” 

Castiel sighed. “Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“‘Course,” Dean replied as gave Castiel another kiss and then grabbed his jacket and headed out the door with a wave. 

****

“Dude, it’s freezing, are you sure about this?” Dean asked as they climbed from the Impala. 

“A nice walk will do us good,” Castiel replied as he shouldered the backpack he’d brought. 

“Yeah, but it’s nearly below freezing.” 

“We won’t be gone too long, and this trail is short.” 

“The things I do for you, man,” Dean grumbled as he pulled his coat tighter around himself and let Castiel lead them into the forest trail. 

Their hands joined together as they walked and Castiel felt Dean relax a bit. “See, it’s nice out.” 

“I suppose it’s alright.” 

They carried on in relative silence, their hands swaying between them as the chill from the winter breeze brushed over them. A few birds chirped, hidden in the branches of trees, and Castiel smiled as a small ray of sunlight filtered through the leafless branches. 

As they walked, Castiel’s eyes moved over the dying vegetation that was growing along the path and as they rounded a corner a field opened up in front of them and Castiel pulled them to a stop. 

“That’s a wildflower field,” he commented.

“Really?” Dean asked.

“Yes, in the spring I’m sure this field will be filled with them.” 

“Do you have any fun facts to lay on me about wildflowers?” Dean asked, his tone was teasing but Castiel could detect true interest in there as well.

“Well, wildflowers represent a few things, they can either mean protection or they can mean something bad is coming.” 

“Damn, that’s two very different things.” 

Castiel shrugged. “Yes, but you could also look at it from the point of view that something or someone will protect you from any bad things that come your way.” 

Dean frowned in thought. “Huh. I guess you could.” 

They continued to walk, the clouds shifting above them and the weak sunlight dappling the ground. Castiel was sure that this day was perfect, and he couldn’t believe that he’d even thought of giving Dean up. 

“You okay?” Dean asked. 

Castiel slipped from his thoughts and nodded, smiling brightly at Dean. “Yes. I was just thinking about how lucky I am.” 

Dean snorted. “I’m pretty sure  _ I’m  _ the lucky one.” 

Castiel sighed. He knew exactly what was running through Dean’s head even if he was trying to play it off with a joke. “I thought we’d been over this, Dean. You’re not unworthy of love, especially my love.”

Dean faltered, nearly tripping on a root, and Castiel moved his hands to steady him. “How do you do that?” he asked. 

“Do what?” 

“Read me like a fucking book,” Dean grumbled. 

Castiel shrugged. “I don’t know.” 

“Screw florist, you should be a detective.” 

Castiel chuckled at that. “I can assure you, I’d make a rotten detective.” 

“I dunno,” Dean said, a grin on his face, “I think you could be good at anything.”

“Anything?” 

“Mhm,” Dean hummed. 

“You’re quite wrong. I’m a horrible cook. Gabriel got all of those genes.” 

Dean let out a soft rumbling laugh. “I guess I’ll just have to teach you.” 

“I like the sound of that. From what I’ve already seen you’re a master in the kitchen. Gabriel might even consider hiring you if you get any better.” 

“I’m by no means a professional, I like to experiment too much.” 

“Experimentation is the only way to discover new things.” 

“Touché.” 

Castiel wondered how it could be this easy, falling in love with someone. He’d always thought love was so complicated, a minefield that one had to navigate, but it was nothing of the sort. Falling in love was easy. It felt like waking up on a spring morning, opening the curtains to see the birds flitting from one tree to another. It was like watching a waterfall cascade down a rock face in an elegant stream, until all the water came to rest in a pool at the bottom. It was like the smell of dust after rain, a dampened sidewalk slick with the tears of the sky, that was ready to be dried by the sun.

Falling in love with Dean was the simplest thing he’d ever done, and being with Dean pushed every doubt he’d ever had far away to a deep corner of his mind. He let his hand cling to Dean’s as they walked, mind wandering, feeling happier than ever. 

****

Castiel spent the next week helping Gabriel try to organize his wedding. It was set for February 14th, Valentines Day, because Gabriel was a sap like that, and he and Kali wanted to get married sooner rather than later. Castiel was finally beginning to understand what Gabriel must be feeling towards Kali, his time with Dean had opened his eyes to something much more incredible than he thought could exist. 

“Earth to Cassie, hello?” 

Gabriel’s voice snapped Castiel from his thoughts and he blinked his eyes back into focus. “Sorry, what?” 

“I asked you if you think the napkins should be lilac or red?” 

“Why don’t you ask Kali.” 

“Well, Kali wants her wedding dress to be red, and she wants the bridesmaids in lilac, so do I make the napkins mirror  _ her  _ or the bridesmaids?” 

“She’s the bride, she’ll want to be unique,” Castiel replied. 

“You’re right, you’re right,” Gabriel muttered as he wrote something down on a notepad that, from what Castiel could see, was filled with nothing but chicken scratches. 

“Gabriel,” Castiel said gently, Gabriel looked up at him, eyes frantic. 

“What?” 

“You need to take a break.” 

“I still have invitations to send out, there’s so much to do, Cassie. I can’t take a break.” 

“You  _ need  _ one,” Castiel insisted. “And I need to get to work.” 

“Work? Shit,” Gabriel groaned as he glanced at his watch, “I was supposed to be there an hour ago.” 

Castiel sighed, rolling his eyes. “You  _ own  _ the place, Gabriel, how could you forget about your own restaurant?” 

“Shut up,” Gabriel replied as he hurried down the hallway to his room. He emerged a moment later, white shirt half buttoned and hair hastily combed. 

“Can you drop me at the shop on your way?” 

“What, Dean can’t give you a ride today?” Gabriel asked, mirth in his eyes. 

“Dean had a job early this morning.” 

“I suppose I can, but only because it’s on my way.” 

The tires of Gabriel’s car squealed as he pulled away from the curb, leaving Castiel to unlock the front door of  _ Mel Flora.  _ He breathed in the sweet smell of flowers and shut his eyes against the wonderful scent. He moved through the shelves, making sure there was enough of each item, before he went into the back room to set up his music. 

It was as he was waiting for his computer to turn on, that he heard the bell above the door chime. Confusion filled him... he wasn’t open yet. 

“Hello?” Castiel called out as he stepped from the back room. 

“You know, Castiel, of all the places I thought you’d end up, a flower shop wasn’t one of them.” 

Castiel froze where he stood. That voice, not that voice. It washed over him like an ice cold bucket of water. 

“What’s wrong, Cassie, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

The smirk that fell across the face of the man in front of him -the man he thought he’d never see again, the man who somehow got out of prison, the man who had tried to drown him in a bathtub and had nearly succeeded, the man he’d spent the rest of his life running from- was absolutely bone-chilling. It was a smile filled with malice and cold laughter, one that Castiel had gotten used to during his childhood, one that made Castiel want to vomit. 

Lucifer hadn’t changed a bit. 

Prison had been rough on him, that much was clear, there were more lines around his eyes, his skin had more wrinkles, his once nearly bleach blond hair was faded and more of a dirty blond, his blue eyes had lost some of their spark but still held a ferocious intensity. He stood leaning against the checkout counter, a rose in his hands. Slowly plucking the petals from the flower, letting them fall to the ground, one by one. 

Castiel couldn’t find his voice through the fear that was stabbing through him, like the tips of the darts Lucifer used to throw at him. 

Lucifer frowned at him, tossing the flower to the ground and facing Castiel full on. “You’ve got nothing to say to me? It’s been so long since I saw you last, and you can’t even spare me a word.” 

Lucifer’s laugh filled the shop, cutting through the ties that had been holding Castiel up, like a marionette suddenly dropping without its puppet master. He collapsed to the floor, scrambling back against the far wall, his chest constricting as tears bit at his eyes. Every bad memory he had seemed to be resurfacing. 

“You’re still so pathetic,” Lucifer spat at him from behind the counter. 

Castiel wanted to shut his eyes, cover his ears, hope that this was just a nightmare and if he could wake up it would go away, but instead he forced himself to get control of his fear, just for a second. 

“Get out,” he growled. 

Lucifer’s eyebrows raised. “Oh he does speak. For a moment there I thought you’d gone mute without me to drag screams from your mouth.” 

Anger suddenly pulsed through him, hot and powerful, drowning out the fear. He pushed himself to his feet and stalked towards the counter until his face was right in front of Lucifer’s, their noses a mere inch from touching. 

“I said,  _ get out _ .” 

Lucifer blinked at him in surprise. “So the dog  _ does  _ have a bite.” 

“Did you go deaf in prison?” Castiel asked, his voice low and threatening. “ _ Get out _ of my shop.” 

Lucifer frowned in shock. “ _ Your  _ shop?” 

“Get out now before I call the police.” 

“The police, oh no, I’m so scared.” 

Castiel reached for the phone on the desk, his finger hovering over the emergency button. “I’m not going to ask again.” 

The smallest,  _ barest _ , flicker of something akin to fear, passed over Lucifer’s face and he took a small step backwards. “Fine. But this isn’t over, Castiel. I’ll be visiting you again, and I’ll finish what I started.” With that, Lucifer spun on his heel and left the shop, the bell jingling in his wake. 

Castiel fell back to the ground the second he was gone, the phone receiver still clutched in his hand. He felt lightheaded, everything swam in front of him and he couldn’t tell if it was lingering fear, tears, or adrenaline, possibly all three. 

Somewhere in his daze, he managed to pull the rest of the phone down into his lap, where he quickly dialed Dean’s number. 

“Hello?” 

“Dean,” Castiel gasped out. 

“Cas? What’s wrong?” 

“I-” he shut his eyes, tears leaked out from under his eyelashes. “Can you come get me?” 

“Cas, what happened? Are you hurt?” 

“No, it- I’m-” he swallowed thickly, the tears not stopping. “Just, please come get me.” 

“Okay, okay,” concern laced Dean’s words. “I’m on my way, are you at the shop?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’ll see you soon-” 

“No, Dean,” Castiel cut in before he could hang up. 

“What?” 

“Can you… can you stay on the line, please? I don’t want to be alone.”

He knew if he was alone, the knife sitting in his back pocket would be put to use, and he was trying to be better. 

“Yeah, sure, Cas. Anything you need.” 

Dean stayed on the line through his whole drive and when the bell jingled above the door, Castiel jumped, half thinking it was Lucifer back again. 

“Cas?” Dean’s voice filled the shop and Castiel found himself relaxing just at the sound of it in person, not over the crackling line of a phone. 

“Over here,” he rasped. 

Dean’s head suddenly poked over the top of the counter and he grinned at him. “What’re you doing down there?” In one fluid motion, Dean hopped over the counter and landed beside Castiel. Instantly, he thrust himself into Dean’s arms, relishing in his sturdiness. “Babe, what happened?” Dean asked after a moment as he ran his hands through Castiel’s hair. 

Castiel took a breath, it rattled in his lungs, hardly doing anything to help his thudding heart. “It was… it was Lucifer.” 

Dean stiffened under him. “What? He came here?” Castiel nodded, and Dean’s hands suddenly started roaming over Castiel’s body. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” 

“No, no I’m fine, he just…” Castiel bit his lip, Lucifer’s words hadn’t stopped whirring in his mind. “He said he’d finish what he started.” 

“He threatened you?”

“Yes.” 

“He’s not going to hurt you,” Dean said as he pulled Castiel further into his arms. 

“Dean,” he said, tears slicking his cheeks, “I’m scared.” 

“It’s okay.” A soft kiss was pressed to the top of his head and Dean’s fingers threaded through the hair at the base of his neck. “I’ll protect you, he won’t get to you ever again.” 

“I shouldn’t have let my guard down,” he muttered into Dean’s chest. “He’s probably been spying on me for weeks, waiting for the right moment to get me alone.” 

“We’re going to figure this out. You can get a restraining order now that he’s shown his face.” 

“You don’t know my brother,” Castiel said darkly. “A restraining order isn’t going to stop him.” 

“Well then I’m never leaving your side,” Dean said as-a-matter-of-factly. 

A new fear sparked through Castiel. “No. I know you won’t leave me, even though you’d be safer that way, but you can’t put yourself in danger for my sake.” 

“I’m not letting that man get near you again, Cas. He won’t lay another finger on you,  _ ever _ .” 

Castiel clutched at Dean harder, the tears coming faster, the fear starting to fade slightly in the safety of Dean’s arms. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but eventually Dean stirred under him. 

“We should get you back home,” he said in a soft whisper. 

Home was the last place Castiel wanted to go. Lucifer knew where he lived, for all he knew his brother was there waiting for him. 

“No,” Castiel said sharply, shaking his head. “I can’t go back there.” 

Dean nodded slowly. “My place then.”

Dean’s apartment was the safer of the two, but Castiel still worried about what Lucifer knew. “Okay.”

Dean helped Castiel to his feet and started to guide him towards the door, when Castiel realized he needed to lock up the back room and get his bag. He was grateful that Dean came with him without having to be asked, the last thing he wanted to be was alone, even if it was just going into the back room. 

When Castiel had his bag, Dean took his hand and led him out of the shop, only pausing so Castiel could lock the door. Dean didn’t let go of his hand for the whole drive back to the apartment complex, but the second they got inside, Dean busied himself in the kitchen and a few minutes later, Castiel had a steaming cup of tea in his hands. 

“Have you told Gabriel yet?” Dean asked as he sat down beside him. 

Castiel shook his head. “Not yet.” 

“Do you want me to do it?” 

“Would you?” 

Dean smiled warmly and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s temple. “Of course, babe.” 

Dean fished his phone out of his pocket and Castiel pulled his legs up onto the couch and curled himself around his tea. 

“Dean-O!” Gabriel’s voice came through the phone after the second ring. “I’m a bit busy, so this better be import- Hey, no you can’t put that there...because we need that counter space! Yes, there’s a table of ten people out there, we need to- no no no, you can’t let the dishes pile up! God, it’s like working with toddlers. Sorry, Dean, what’s up? Can you make it quick?” 

“It’s Lucifer,” Dean replied. 

Gabriel was silent on the other end of the line for a moment before he shouted, “Yeah, I gotta take this! Try not to burn the kitchen down while I’m gone!” A door slammed and Castiel jumped at the sound. Dean put a consoling hand on his knee and Castiel tried to take deep breaths, breathing in the steam from his tea. “What’s happened?” Gabriel asked, wherever he’d gone it was a lot quieter. 

“Lucifer came to the shop,” Dean said. 

“He  _ what _ !? Is Cassie hurt? If that motherfucker laid a single  _ hand  _ on him he’s  _ dead _ !” 

“Cas is fine, I’m with him at my apartment.” 

“Okay, okay good.” 

“But he threatened him,” Dean continued. 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Gabriel hissed. 

“Gabriel,” Castiel said, somehow finding his voice. Dean tipped the phone towards him and Castiel shifted so he could get closer. “I don’t know what’s safe anymore. He knows where we live, he knows where I work, I’m sure he knows where you do too.” 

“You’re right,” Gabriel sighed. “Fuck.” 

“I don’t think Cas should be alone until we figure this out.” 

“I agree, there’s safety in numbers.” 

“I’ll be okay,” Castiel commented, even though it was an obvious lie.

“Don’t try to play tough, Cassie, it doesn’t suit you,” Gabriel said. “You should stay at Dean’s for now, and I’ll call Michael and see if this is finally enough for him to stop stalling on that restraining order.” 

“I worry about you too, Gabriel,” Castiel said as he clutched his mug tighter. “He’ll hurt you too.” 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll stay at Kali’s until we figure this out. Neither of us will get hurt, okay?” 

Castiel suddenly felt like a child again, his older brother protecting him as he cowered in a corner. Except this time it was different, this time he had Dean, and Dean was a far greater comfort than his brother’s had ever been. 

“Okay,” he replied shakily.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry,” Dean reassured Gabriel.

“I don’t doubt you will.” 

“We’ll let you know if Lucifer shows his face again.” 

“Good,” Gabriel replied. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll drop by after work.” 

“Alright, bye.” 

For the rest of the day, Dean didn’t press for details, he just sat with Castiel on the couch, making him cup after cup of tea, getting him to eat a little food, despite the unruly turmoil of his stomach, and watching movies. And when it grew dark outside and Dean insisted that they head to bed, Castiel trailed after him. 

When Dean pulled the covers of his bed back, Castiel hesitated for only a moment before he climbed under them. 

“It’ll be okay,” Dean said in his ear as he tugged Castiel against his chest, arms wrapped securely around Castiel’s torso. 

“I hope so,” Castiel replied. 

“Remember the wildflowers?” Dean asked as he pressed a kiss to Castiel’s neck. 

“Yes,” Castiel answered. 

“You said that they can mean protection against something bad, right?” 

“Right.” Castiel was sure he knew where this was going. 

“Well, I’ll protect you from Lucifer. You don’t have anything to worry about.” 

Castiel’s heart swelled in his chest with love towards Dean. “Thank you.” 

Dean smiled into Castiel’s hair. “You don’t have to go through this alone anymore.” 

Castiel felt tears fall from his eyes in gratitude. He hadn’t been sure he’d be able to fall asleep after seeing Lucifer again, but held tightly, protectively, in Dean’s arms, his eyelids fell shut, and he drifted to sleep, as easily as a cloud floating across the sky. He had never felt safer.


	11. Tropaeolaceae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tropaeolaceae- meaning Nasturtium: victory

Confusion was the first thing Dean felt when he woke up. There was a body pressed against him and it took him a moment to realize that it was Cas. The events of the previous day came flooding back and he found himself wrapping his arms tightly around Cas’ waist, burying his nose in his boyfriend's neck and pressing a soft kiss there, as if that alone could protect Cas from his murderous older brother.

Cas groaned and Dean felt him stir awake. “Morning,” he murmured against Cas’ skin. 

“Good morning,” Cas replied, his voice sleep rough and beautiful. 

“Did you sleep okay?” 

Cas nodded and shifted in Dean’s arms, turning around to blink open sleepy blue eyes. “Better than I have in a while.” 

“Me too.” 

Cas sighed as he snuggled into Dean’s chest. “I’m worried,” he said after a moment. 

“About Lucifer?” 

Cas flinched, intaking a sharp breath. “Can you… can you not say his name, please.” 

Guilt flushed through Dean’s body and he nodded. “Sure, sorry.” 

Cas sighed. “Sometimes I can hear it, sometimes I can say it, and other times… other times I hear his name and I feel like the walls are closing in.” 

Dean kissed Cas’ forehead and took one of his hands in his. “You’re safe here, I’m gonna take care of you.” 

“I know, I just worry that he’ll hurt you somehow.” 

“He won’t.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“No, but I don’t think he’ll risk trying anything if you’re not alone.”

“What if-” 

“Cas,” Dean interrupted, he laid a hand on Cas’ cheek and let his thumb brush gently across it, “worrying isn’t going to help anything. I made my choice, and I chose to be with you. We’re in this together, you don’t have to fight alone.” 

“Thank you.” Cas’ voice was hoarse, as if it had suddenly given out on him. 

Dean smiled and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “I need coffee, do you want any?” 

“I’d love some.” 

Dean pulled on a sweatshirt and then headed out into the kitchen. A moment later, Cas joined him, his hair sticking up six ways from Sunday, which Dean found very adorable. “What are we thinking for breakfast?” Dean asked as he turned on the coffee maker. 

“Pancakes?” Cas asked hopefully. 

Dean grinned. “Anything you want.” 

Cas helped stir the ingredients as Dean added them and then Dean moved to man the stove. The sizzle of batter on the stove filled Dean’s apartment and soon there was a pile of steaming pancakes waiting to be eaten. 

“Are you going to go to work today?” Dean asked tentatively over a mouthful. 

Cas’ hand stalled halfway to his mouth. “I-” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dean said, dropping his fork to lay a hand on Cas’ arm. 

“I don’t think I can,” Cas replied in a whisper. 

“Then stay here with me. We can watch movies all day.” 

Cas smiled, some of the fear in his eyes seemed to disappear, but Dean could tell he was still a bit shaken. “Thank you.” 

“Whatever you need, I’m here.” 

****

“Where is he?” 

“Sleeping, don’t wake him.” 

“How’s he doing?” 

Dean sighed as he shut the door, letting Gabriel into his apartment. “Not great.” 

Gabriel collapsed on the couch with a frown. “I was afraid of that.” 

“I don’t know how to help him,” Dean said as he sat down beside Gabriel. 

“Well, Michael’s on his way down here. He should arrive tomorrow sometime, and he might finally have something we can use.” 

“The only useful thing would be a restraining order.” 

“I think Michael finally got it through his thick skull that this isn’t something you can push aside. Cassie needs that restraining order, so I’m hopeful that he’s finally managed to get Cas a court date.” 

“He better, or I’m calling my brother.” 

“What’s your brother going to do?” 

“He’s a lawyer, and a damn good one.” 

“Is he now?” Gabriel asked, intrigued. 

“He’s won every case he’s ever been put on.” 

“No kidding, really?” 

“Really.” 

“Well, we might have to switch over to him if Michael can’t get his head out of his ass.” 

“Why don’t you just contact your lawyer yourself?” 

Gabriel sighed and leaned back on the couch. “Michael has better connections. If he gets an appointment, it’ll be put at the top of the list.” 

“Well, I can totally give you Sam’s contact info if you want.” 

“That might be handy.” 

“What’s going on?” 

Dean turned to see Cas come stumbling into the room, knuckling at his eyes, sleep still present in their blue depths. “Hey, Cas, sorry if we woke you,” Dean said guiltily. He patted the empty space next to him on the couch. “Come sit.” Cas sat and Dean pulled him in for a quick kiss. 

“Ew, gross!” Gabriel protested.

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Cas’ hand into his lap where he held on tightly, Cas leaning against his shoulder. “This is _my_ apartment, Gabriel, and I’ll kiss my boyfriend on _my_ couch if I want to.” 

“Whatever,” Gabriel muttered. 

“What were you guys talking about?” Cas asked over a yawn. 

“Michael,” Dean replied. 

“He’s coming down to visit,” Gabriel added. “Hopefully we’ll be able to get you that restraining order now.” 

“But…” Cas trailed off, but Dean knew what he was going to say. 

“Cas, this isn’t about us,” Dean said softly as he placed a kiss to the top of his head. “We’ve been over this, remember?” 

Cas sighed. “I know.” Cas’ gaze traveled to Gabriel as if he was seeing him for the first time. “What are you doing here?” 

“I just came to check up on you.” 

“Oh, well I’m fine.” 

“A likely story,” Gabriel said. He tossed a bag towards Cas with a smile. “I also brought you some stuff, since I don’t think you’ll be coming back home until everything’s dealt with.” 

“Thank you,” Cas mumbled. 

“Alright well, that concludes my business here,” Gabriel said as he stood up. “I’ll see you when Michael gets here.” 

“Thanks for stopping by,” Dean said with a wave as Gabriel made his way to the door. 

Once Gabriel had left, Cas turned to Dean. “Are you finally going to come to bed?” 

“Yeah, I was just waiting up for Gabriel.” 

“He gets off work late a lot,” Cas said. “He could have come by tomorrow.” 

Dean shrugged. “He wanted to make sure you had everything you needed.” 

“I do have everything,” Cas replied with a grin as he kissed Dean. 

“Alright, ya big sap, let’s get to bed.” 

****

Dean wasn’t sure what he thought Michael would be like, but he couldn’t say he was surprised when the eldest Novak brother was sitting in front of him in a perfectly tailored suit complete with a briefcase. 

Michael regarded Dean coolly, and Dean knew that it was probably the overprotective older brother in him that made him not want to accept Dean too quickly. They shared a tense handshake, and then Dean took his own seat beside Cas on the couch while Gabriel paced where he stood. 

“Michael, it’s getting out of hand,” Gabriel said. 

“I’m aware of the situation, thank you Gabriel,” Michael replied tersely. 

“So, what are you going to _do_ about it?” 

“If you’d calm down, I might be able to tell you.” Gabriel huffed and stopped pacing so he could give Michael his full attention. Michael pulled his briefcase onto his lap and then produced a slip of paper from its depths; he held it out for Cas. “Due to your past with Lucifer, our lawyer didn’t think it necessary for you to go down to the station to make the claim for a restraining order. So, I’ve secured you a court date three days from now. ” 

Cas stared at the paper and then reached out to take it. “Seriously?” he asked. 

“Seriously,” Michael replied. “I do need to warn you, that Lucifer will probably have to be present.” 

Dean saw the color drain from Cas’ face. “What?” 

“That’s how it works,” Michael said. “Both parties have to be present.” 

“You really think he’ll agree to be there?” Gabriel scoffed. 

“It won’t be his choice, the court will summon him.” 

Dean reached for Cas’ hand and squeezed. “It’ll be okay.” 

Cas shook his head, distressed. “No, no, he can’t-” 

“Cas, calm down,” Dean said as Cas’ breathing increased, panic taking hold. 

“Dean,” Cas gasped in terror, fixing his fearful blue eyes on Dean. 

“It’s okay,” Dean soothed as he held Cas by the shoulders. Dean turned to Gabriel, who had straightened up when Cas started panicking. “Get some water.” 

“Sure,” Gabriel replied. 

“Castiel,” Michael said, his voice was thinned with slight annoyance. “I don’t have time for your theatrics-” 

Anger bubbled inside Dean and he swept his sharp gaze at Cas’ eldest brother. “ _Theatrics_ ?” he interrupted. “He’s having a _panic attack_.” 

“I understand that, but he needs to get himself under control before his court date.” 

“Trauma isn’t something you can just push aside whenever you want to,” Dean snapped as Gabriel handed a glass of water to Cas. 

Michael sighed and stood up. “I’m well aware of what trauma feels like. After all, I am the one that found my youngest brother half dead in a bathtub. That kind of thing isn’t easy for one to forget.” Michael’s tone was clipped, but Dean suddenly heard the slight tremble in his words that he hadn’t noticed before. 

“Right,” Dean said slowly, guilt suddenly welling in him. “Sorry.” 

Michael nodded curtly, and softened his tone slightly. “I merely meant that Castiel must try to get himself into a better state of mind.” 

Dean looked back at Cas, who was holding the water glass in shaking hands. Sweat had broken out on his brow and his breathing was still ragged. “I’ll help him calm down.” 

Gabriel knelt in front of Cas, forcing his brother to look at him. “Cassie, breathe okay?” 

Cas glanced at Dean, panic danced in his eyes. “Breathe, Cas, like Gabriel said.” 

Cas tried to take a breath but his lungs seemed to want to reject the air. 

“Do it with me,” Dean said softly as he put a hand on Cas’ wrist, trying to steady his shaking. “Breathe in,” Dean breathed, and then hesitantly, Cas joined him. “Breathe out.” They both exhaled. “Again, breathe in, breathe out.” 

Slowly Cas began to calm down and Gabriel coaxed him to drink some of the water. “Thank y-you,” he stammered. 

Dean smiled warmly at him. “Of course, buddy.” 

“Well, I think that will be all for me today,” Michael said with a nod at Cas. “I’m glad you’re doing better, brother.” 

“No thanks to you,” Gabriel muttered, but Michael didn’t seem to hear him. 

“I’ll see myself out,” Michael said. “It was nice to have met you, Dean.” 

“You too,” Dean replied, even though he wasn’t quite sure if it was the truth. 

Gabriel sighed. “I should probably go too. Are you gonna be okay, Cassie?” 

“I’ve got him.” 

“I’ll be fine, Gabriel, thank you.” 

“Right.” Gabriel stood up and turned towards the door, only to turn back. “I’m sorry about Michael.” 

“You don’t have to apologize.” 

“No, I do. He was rude. Michael’s a dick sometimes, but he means well,” Gabriel said. 

“I’m sure he does.” 

“He thinks he has to be our protector before he can be our brother. I mean he practically raised Cas, so he’s always felt more like our parent than our sibling, but sometimes I just want my brother back.” 

“I don’t think Michael knows how to be a brother,” Cas said quietly. 

“He did once,” Gabriel replied equally as quietly. “Goodnight, then.” 

“Night, Gabriel.” 

“I’ll come back and check on you guys tomorrow.” 

Dean nodded. “Thanks.” 

With Gabriel gone, Dean pulled Cas in for a soft kiss. 

“I’m alright,” Cas said against his lips. 

“You’re not and you don’t have to pretend to be.” 

“I just… I don’t know if I can face him again.” 

“I could go with you,” Dean offered. 

“As much as I’d love to have you there, I feel like this is something I need to do on my own.” 

“Whatever you want.” 

“Thank you, Dean.” 

Dean grinned. “What are boyfriends for?”

****

“I’m going in with you, Cas,” Dean said as he parked the Impala outside of _Mel Flora_. 

“You don’t have to,” Cas murmured, but Dean knew he wasn’t going to argue. 

“You’ll need help clearing out the dead flowers anyway.” 

Cas’ hands were shaking when he pulled out his keys and Dean instantly reached forward to take them from him, opening the door, and leading them inside. Dean didn’t miss Cas flinching at the sound of the bell above them and he put an arm around his shoulder to help him all the way into the shop.

It had been a few days, and some of the flowers were wilting. “Should we find a bag and throw them out?”

Cas nodded. “Yes, that’s probably the best course of action.”

“Do you have any trash bags in the back?” 

“Yes, I’ll show you.” Dean followed Cas into the backroom and let him find the trash bags, then together they began to move through the aisles, tossing flowers into the bags.

It was just as they were on the last aisle, that the bell rang and Dean turned to see who had entered the shop. “Hey, we’re closed, buddy,” he called across the room. 

A blond head turned towards him and Cas suddenly gasped, nearly falling over. “But my brother’s the owner, can’t you make an exception for family?” 

Anger swelled in Dean’s chest as he looked over the man he’d heard so much about. “So, you’re Lucifer.” 

Lucifer smirked and brought a hand up to his heart. “Aw, Cassandra’s been telling stories about me? How sweet.” He took a step forward and Dean moved in front of Cas protectively. 

“Take another step, and I’m calling the police.” 

“And who are you anyway?” Lucifer asked, there was curiosity in his eyes but also something else that Dean could only call malice. 

“That doesn’t matter. You’re not getting any closer to Cas.” 

Lucifer’s eyebrows went up at the nickname, but he didn’t comment. “I just want to talk to my brother about something.” 

“Whatever you have to say, you can say to me.” 

Lucifer tried to peer past Dean, but he moved to block his view. “Oh come on, Castiel, you’re just going to cower behind your bodyguard.” 

“What do you want?” Dean asked, a warning in his voice. 

Lucifer sighed and clasped his hands together. “I just got a very concerning letter from our dear brother Michael, saying that I’m supposed to be in court tomorrow.” 

“That’s right,” Cas said suddenly, his voice was hard and Dean spared a quick glance at him to see anger burning away the fear in his eyes. 

“You’re trying to get a restraining order against me?” 

“Yes,” Cas answered. 

“Well, let me make myself clear,” Lucifer said as he looked from Dean to Cas. “A _restraining order_ isn’t going to stop me from anything.” 

“Get out,” Dean hissed as he moved forward. 

Lucifer grinned, it was a horrible thing, something so devoid of any happiness, Dean had to wonder if the man even had a soul. “I’ll be back,” Lucifer threatened as Dean urged him towards the door. 

The second Lucifer was outside, Dean locked the door and rushed back over to Cas, who had collapsed on the ground. “Hey, hey breathe, okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Cas said, his voice shook but he wasn’t crying. “I’ll be okay.” 

“He’s not going to hurt you again, I promise.” Dean gathered Cas into his arms and pressed a kiss to his hair. “I promise.” 

****

When Cas left with Michael and Gabriel the next afternoon, Dean started to pace his apartment. He baked a pie, and did a little editing for his latest client, but mostly he couldn’t stand still. 

Around six, the door to his apartment opened and Cas stepped through with Gabriel behind him. “Well?” Dean asked. 

“Lucifer tried to make a scene, as usual, but the judge accepted the motion.” 

“Oh thank god,” Dean said as he pulled Cas into a hug. 

“I’ll... leave you two alone,” Gabriel said as he backed out of the apartment.

“We should move in together,” Cas mumbled into Dean’s shirt. 

“What?” Dean pushed Cas away from him gently, just so he could look him in the eyes. “You want to move in together?” 

Cas nodded. “Yes. Is that okay? It’s not too soon is it? It’s too soon, we don’t have t-” 

“Cas,” Dean broke in. “I’d love to move in with you.” 

Cas brightened at that. “Really?” 

“Of course.” 

“I just figured, this way, you’re also safe from my brother. As long as you’re with me, he can’t hurt you.” 

Dean smiled. Cas wasn’t wrong. “That’s smart.” 

Cas suddenly lunged for Dean, pushing him up against the counter, their lips meeting in a heated kiss. “Can we…” 

Dean was pretty sure he knew what Cas was asking but he had to make sure. “Are you asking to-” 

“Yes,” Cas interrupted. “Yes.” 

Dean gulped but nodded. “Bedroom’s that way,” he said with a small chuckle. Cas didn’t waste a moment, he grabbed Dean’s hand and led him down the hall. 

Being with Cas was amazing. Dean felt like he was floating but flying at the same time, soaring through the air. They’d kept the room dark, so all Dean could see was an outline of the man above him, and as eager as he was to see Cas in all his glory, he knew that this wasn’t the time and he had no intention of pressuring Cas into anything. Instead, he just laid back and enjoyed himself. He kissed and touched but let Cas take the reins. 

When they collapsed beside each other, breaths coming out heavy, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and pressed a kiss to his neck. “Are you okay?” 

“I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time,” Cas replied quietly. 

Dean grinned and nuzzled closer to his boyfriend. “Good.” 

“I love you,” Cas said. 

“I love you too.” 

“Thank you for being here, with me.” 

“I told you, whatever you want, I’m here.” 

“I just want you.”

“You just had me,” Dean joked. 

Cas laughed and elbowed Dean in the ribs. “You know what I mean.” 

“I know,” Dean replied in a soft whisper. 

It was still early, but somehow, Dean found his eyes drooping and soon he was drifting off to sleep, safely tucked up against Cas, protecting him, just like he said he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. So I hate to do this to y'all again, but I'm going to have to go on another hiatus. I'm dealing with a loss right now, and I have to do school work on top of that, so I'm not finding a lot of time or motivation to write. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and sticking with me so far, and I promise you I have no intention of abandoning this story. I have it all planned out, it just needs to be written, so I will return to this fic as soon as my mental capacity and busy schedule allows for it. 
> 
> Thanks again,  
> Fandom_Stuff <3

**Author's Note:**

> If you're enjoying this fic, and if you feel like it, please check out some of my other works! There are plenty of completed fics that you won't have to wait for updates for on my account. I've written some Destiel, some not Destiel, some one-shots, and a couple other AU's, and other fics for other fandoms like Arrow and Sherlock, so go knock yourself out :)
> 
> I'm going to be 'that person' and say that I also exist on social media so check me out if you want:  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Fandom_Stuff67)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/fandom_stuff67)  
> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fandomstuff67)  
> If there hasn't been a new chapter after a longer than usual lapse in time, I will post the reason on Tumblr, so you guys don't have to worry that I'm dead or something. And also, you can message me! So come talk to me! I love hearing from you guys and I’d love to be friends, so don’t be shy!  
> I also make stuff on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ9Bfw3pGyBYd3zJCN0umXg?view_as=subscriber)


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